Hey everybody, welcome to another episode of the wedding ceremony podcast where we talk about anything and everything that has to do with wedding ceremonies. This is episode number 285. recorded on Tuesday, September the eighth 2020. My name is Clint Hufft. And with me is a gentleman that well I'm really excited what's happened. I don't know what's coming next. The one and only JP Reynolds.
This is episode number 285. And you would think that we would know how this works but sometimes Well, you know. JP is an accomplished author. His books are in the Amazon store and in the Kindle Store in Amazon. He is a communications expert. thebusinessofconfidence.com is that website. His wedding website is JPRweddings.com. Mine is ReverendClint.com or ClintHufft.com for all the things that I do. JP, before we hit the record button we were talking about what will we start with? And you said you had something?
JP Reynolds 1:15
I do. And I have I have something that's just, like a moment, a moment that I experienced with a couple that was just so sweet. And the moment I experienced with the same couple that was so wackadoo. So, I'll start with the sweet part and we we've been doing this mini weddings for a long time. And you and I know and I think the 99.9% of our listeners know that you can never predict anything about the ceremony.
So, last week, I had an old fashioned elopement where it was just the couple and me. There was no Mama. There was no the twins. It was just a couple. And they were, yes. You know, the twins. And they were a little older, second marriage for both of them. And they were out of state. And it was just, it's time and we'll do a big celebration later, but this is for us.You and I've talked about We love elopements, we love these micro weddings. So I went into this real low key, just the two of them no fuss, no muss and met them at the venue. I had already zoomed with them so it was lovely. And again very low key. It turned out they did have a professional photographer so that beforehand they did some photos, you know? I said, whenever you want to start, we can start and I said all right, let's let's do this. And the bride said, Oh, wait, wait, wait, wait. I want to process. There's no guests. There's no nothing. And the sweetness of that I want to begin in the most traditional of ways. And there's something very lovely about it. So she walks off a bit, and the groom and I just stand there. And we now watch the bride walk towards us, or in particular, towards the groom. And within a few seconds, he choked up and started to cry.
JP Reynolds 4:51
And I thought how, just how sweet. How sweet. Before they were talking, laughing, they had photos, all low key, all laid back. And then in that moment, this woman just holding a bouquet, walking. It was exquisite. It was exquisite, because it was so simple. And I was taken totally by surprise, because it would not have occurred to me because everything had been so low key and so laid back. It would not have occurred to me that in that moment that's what would have gotten him to choke up.
I actually can completely relate to this. It's weird because as you're describing it, I'm playing the role of the groom in my head.
Seeing her walk away from me. And then the entire, correct me if I'm wrong, but this is what it feels like when you tell the story, the entire energy shifts as she turns and now she's really my bride because I think the vibe before was this is my fiancé and da da da. But she turns and oh my gosh, she's my bride and everything that a man feels about how did I get this lucky and oh my gosh, I can't believe she's still here and then I can totally relate to the emotions hitting that guy. Absolutely. It's interesting. I don't know why she decided to walk away and then walk up with a bit of formality.
But boy, thank goodness she did, right, because look at the way it affected you.
JP Reynolds 6:54
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I mean, it was very so then um, She finally cuts to less. And, it's just the three of us. It's very intimate and talking and suddenly three seagulls land on a small building that's on the property, a standalone building that's on the property, land on the roof of the building. And start to squawk. I have to tell you, I am not exaggerating. I have never heard seagulls squawk as loudly as these three seagulls. They were like animatronics at Disneyland.
Okay, it was like, Could somebody do something? They were so, Wow. They were like, I mean, how loud were they JP? I had to stop talking. I just don't remember seagulls being that loud.
I don't know what it is about my personality, but I immediately start imagining what they were actually saying to each other. You know? Hey, see those people get married. Hey, Hey, Hey, what are you doing?
JP Reynolds 8:38
Okay, don't scare me. Don't scare me.
All right now, bouncing off of your story about how the guy started to cry when his bride turned and started walking back towards him. Okay, the groom started to cry. But here's what happened. This is a small wedding. I think there was maybe 20 people on the guest list and We're on a lawn that overlooks the ocean. So a little bit of a cliff kind of scenario. And it's time to begin. And this particular wedding had an event planner, right, so But what happened was, I'm doing everything that I do before the wedding. And then I'm thinking and then there's this moment of peace, where I'm just relaxing, waiting for things to begin. And the planner comes up and says, you can go ahead and take your place the groom is already up there. And I'm immediately, This is moment of panic, like, What? How come nobody… I'm supposed to be… with how did it? Anyway, I have to make the best of the situation. So I come walking up, and the music hasn't even started yet. I think there might be like background, it was a guitar player. So he was just playing like background music. And as I'm walking up the groom is in conversation with an older gentleman. And then they see me walking up and the gentleman says, Okay, I'll see you later. Pat's him on the side and then he walks away to take a seat. The groom then turns to look out at the ocean. And I can see that he's tearing up. And I said something about that's fine. What you're feeling is you're right on schedule. Everything's okay. I'm thinking he's crying because he's about to get married. But then he continues to cry. I have a package of tissues in my pocket. So I gave him something like that for his tears and again, our back is to the guests and the processional has not begun yet. And he's still crying. And even though it's silent, you know how you can look at somebody's eyes and you can see that the tear, I mean, they're not just welling up he's like crying freshly. I mean, there's a lot of stuff going on inside him. And again, I have no idea. I just am thinking that he's about to get married and there's something going on. But then, it Hit me, I got this impulse. And I said very quietly to him, almost out of the side of my mouth because we're both looking out of the ocean. Why are you crying?
I never have ever asked that question before. But there was something different about what was going on with him, there was something different. Why are you crying? And he said, That man I was talking to is the father of my best friend who died. And I said, I'm so sorry, how long ago did he pass? About three years ago, but I really wish he was here. Oh, okay. Now everything shifted, right? Now my whole thing is like, Okay, wait a minute, this is a different ballgame. And, we still had some space of time. That's what it felt like to me. We needed space. You know, time became a different kind of commodity. I put my arm around his shoulders. And I said, He's probably here. And he said, that's what his dad just said. I said he wants the best for you. And this is a good thing.
Now, I can't take credit for the fact that he pulled himself together, because quite honestly, I'm not. I don't think he pulled himself together until his bride was right in front of him. And I don't know if she had any idea what he was actually experiencing. Maybe she thought that he was crying just because of her, which is great. That's fine. Then you can realize how important this moment is to him. It was very important to him but there was a different dynamic to it. You know what I mean? But that moment where I just felt compelled to Why are you crying? Because it felt differently, came out of the blue. And thank goodness I had that impulse because I think that helped him process and get ready for getting married. Does that make sense?
JP Reynolds 13:08
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. People always say they don't want to cry and I say, no Cry, cry. Personally I love seeing a man cry.
JP Reynolds 13:36
Oh, because it goes against stereotype and you don't often see men cry in public. And I enjoy making men cry.
Yes, I know you do.
JP Reynolds 13:54
My mindset is you cry. Cry, cry like a baby. That's it. I wanted to see those tears. Um, I think it's beautiful. It's beautiful.
There is such a thing as an ugly cry. You know what I mean?
JP Reynolds 14:16
Oh, yeah, Yeah, I tell those people to stop immediately.
Pull yourself together, man.
JP Reynolds 14:24
It's like you don't know how ugly you look right now. So stop.
You're embarrassing me.
JP Reynolds 14:33
I am only into good looking, Clint. Now on a separate note because I have these tidbits from the last week's that never got around in terms of the ceremony site, so again, talking micro wedding. It's fascinating to see by the way That term micro wedding has become such an umbrella term because I've not had now, any two micro weddings look the same in terms of number and decor and whatever, right? This particular micro wedding was for about 20 people. And they did have this new structure that has replaced the arch, it's the circle. You've seen it because I know you've been in front of these circles where it's a circular structure, and the flowers are attached to the circular structure,
but it's a temporary structure like an arch.
JP Reynolds 15:47
Yeah. So it's like you're standing in front of like, it's a circle. So rather than an arch, it's a circular design.
Okay, what I'm imagining, There's two different ways this can go. Is it? From a certain standpoint, it's like a two dimensional figure, there's no depth to it. It's just is this one flat thing that you're standing in front of? Is the same kind of a thing?
JP Reynolds 16:14
No, no, no, no arch can be three dimensional. An arch could either be two dimensional, as you say, but I've stood in front of three dimensional arch, where it's like a gateway.
Right? So what I'm trying to imagine with the circle, is it is the circle on top of the structure or the circle.
JP Reynolds 16:35
It's this. It's a circular, it's like, it can either be wrought iron or it could be wooden. And it's a circular. It's in a circular shape.
Yeah, but where is the circle? Is a circle on its side or is a circle on top?
JP Reynolds 16:49
No, no, it there's no arch. It's just all it's a structure that is in the shape of a circle.
Okay, I here's what I imagine and Tell me if I'm right. That if you took a circle like a halo on top of the head, and then you tilted it 90 degrees, so now the Halo is in front of somebody's face. That's what I'm imagining when you say that the flower structure is a circle. The circle is flat facing the guests as opposed to be on top like a huppah.
JP Reynolds 17:23
Oh, yeah. Yeah. Because there's nothing to be on top of.
There you go. That's what I meant when I said to two dimensional.
JP Reynolds 17:28
Yeah, but you have stood in front of these. I know you'll have. They're very popular now.
I can't recall standing in front of a circle
Check your photos.
Okay, fine. Go back to the archives.
JP Reynolds 17:42
Back to the archives. All right. Anyway, now I'm exhausted. Okay.
That was a lot of work.
JP Reynolds 17:48
Yeah. I mean, luckily that has nothing to do with the story.That's what I should have said is the structure and we're gonna stand in front of this. structure, okay, and the whoever decided to place on the ground in front of the structure a throw carpet.
Oh, like they're supposed to stand on it.
JP Reynolds 18:21
And that's where the three of us we're gonna stand. Right. And I have to say that I've done it. I've seen it before, but I've not seen it very often. And I I just want to say that in terms of for a ceremony. It was just a lovely touch. And I'm really now into carpets at ceremonies.
Well, okay, there's a difference. We’ve talked at length, long time ago about runners, aisle runners.
JP Reynolds 18:55
I'm not talking about paper and I'm not talking about in my own manner.
Well That's where I was going with this is that there's a difference between like a throw rug, or a piece of carpet that has a firm backing.
JP Reynolds 19:09
This was this was like a Persian carpet.
So it has substance to it.
JP Reynolds 19:15
I guess that you could have poorly placed in your family room. Right, right. Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah, I like that.
JP Reynolds 19:24
And it was just very, it was a little bohemian chic. But I liked that it defined where we were standing.
Yeah, I like stuff like that. That defines the space change, I like that a lot. Yes, we did something like that a long time ago where there was a gift basket at the sign-in table. And in a basket was a bunch of those ornamental rocks that they use for landscaping type of deals. About the size of a large egg, maybe gray in color, whatever. And so the instructions were that when the guests went to the ceremony site, they were supposed to place the rocks in a circle. Now a circle of rocks had already been loosely established, but the guests were supposed to place their rocks in between the other rocks that define the circle, and they were supposed to have their best wishes and prayers for the couple, like the rock would be the vehicle for that. And so when I walked out with the groom before the processional started, there was a guy that was on one knee and he had that rock up to his forehead. And he placed it with such precision. And the groom watched all of this, and then he got up and took a seat. So when the bride came up the aisle and stepped into that circle. It was a completely different vibe. It was awesome. And that and I think anything that you're describing, like with the circular rug, and whatever, so you're walking into it, almost a sacred space, so to speak. Yes, that's a powerful word, but I mean? Yes.
JP Reynolds 21:00
Yeah. I love that an accurate description. Yeah, yeah.
I've done strips of carpet, because the ground was muddy or dirty or whatever. And then the event planner would say, let's put some carpet down. So we don't have to worry about that. But that's different. That's just like a rectangle. He said larger with area.
JP Reynolds 21:17
Yeah, yeah. Yeah. And again, I'll just quickly because I know we're running out of time, it's what all this speaks to. And it began with the story about the bride who walked away, turned around and walked to the groom. It's about the power of ritual. Mm hmm. The power of ritual, and these are all examples of the power of ritual. Yeah, why would the choir have the seagulls?
Oh, my gosh, I really want to know what they were saying. Oh, my gosh. I revel in that stuff.
Maybe they weren't even talking about the wedding. Where did you get that fish?
Not now Not now. Well, there you go, everybody. That's the way this works.
As you can see, we have a well, we have just kind of a loose loose structure for what we do.
JP Reynolds 22:15
But we do the shape of a circle.
Yes, it is, and it's sacred. So if you would like to be a part of what we do, please email us, all you have to do is go to our website, weddingceremonypodcast.com and click on the email us button and then you can tell us a story or ask us a question. I forget who was it, somebody just asked me for a copy of my Wedding Ceremony Choices, which I will give for free to anybody that wants it, just let me know. And it's a pleasure to do all of that. Also, all of our episodes are on that same website. They're all archived chronologically, and the most recent one is at the top. If for some reason you cannot access the Apple podcast store then that's your other alternative is to go to our website. But if you can, then hit the subscribe button when you find wedding ceremony podcast and that way every time we post a new episode automatically come into your world. Remember that JP’S books are in the Amazon store and in the Kindle store in Amazon. For communications coaching thebusinessofconfidence.com is that website. His wedding website is JPRweddings.com. Mine is ReverendClint.com or ClintHufft.com for all the things that I do. Thank you again to the incredible musicians that play our theme music, the Dacapoplayers.com. That's it for this episode of the wedding ceremony podcast. This is Clint and on behalf of JP, We will see you next time.