#295
Clint  0:00  
Hey everybody, welcome to the wedding ceremony podcast. We talk about anything and everything that has to do with wedding ceremonies. This is episode number 295, recorded on Tuesday, November the 17th 2020. My name is Clint Hufft. And with me is a gentleman that, oh my gosh, we're internationally famous, the one and only JP Reynolds.


JP Reynolds  0:25  
There's so much I want to say.


Clint  0:30  
Okay, JP is an accomplished author. His books are in the Amazon store and in the Kindle store in Amazon. He is a communications expert, thebusinessofconfidence.com is that website. His wedding website is Jprweddings.com. Mine is ReverendClint.com or Clinthufft.com For all the things that I do. Now, when I say internationally famous, we got an email, and it's awesome. This is so great. It's from somebody named Carlos with a company called pod status. And the email says, “Hello, how's it going? Hope all is well. I have some cool information that might interest you. Your podcast, wedding ceremony podcast, has good performance in some rankings last 30 days.” And here it is. Here's the deal breaker. This is so awesome. Position 98 in the category personal journals, Italy. I don't know who those other 97 people imposters are in Italy. I don't even know how to say imposters in Italian.


JP Reynolds  1:46  
That's because of, I will come clean, It's because of my connections at the Vatican.


Clint  1:52  
Oh, really? I knew it. I knew that would come in handy One day.


JP Reynolds  1:57  
Pope Francis listens to the podcast. I have it on good word.


Clint  2:03  
Good word. Yeah. Can we dive into that a little bit? 


JP
No. 


Clint
Well, you can imagine how thrilling This was when I opened this email. And I said to myself, I don't care if it is a bot. We're number 98. In Italy.


JP Reynolds  2:24  
Okay, if you are in Italy, and you are listening to us, we embrace you. And send us some pizza.


Clint  2:36  
Yes. Or as you said before we hit the record button. Prove it. Oh, so good. Okay, JP, you said you had maybe something you'd like to chat about?


JP Reynolds  2:53  
That's correct. So in the last month or so after like eight months of not doing any weddings. In the last four to five weeks. I've been doing micro weddings from the micro micro size to the large micro size. And there is one in particular that I've not had a chance to share with you. This was a couple of weeks ago.This was about two weekends ago, Clint. You may recall we had like real weather. That we had rain that weekend. All right. Well, I was doing micros, I was microing that weekend. So, these were all couples who were already on the books at various points during the year. And as they stumbled towards the end of the year just decided, we've got to get married. No matter what we're going to do next year or in 2022. We're getting married. So I already had a relationship with these various couples. But on this particular Saturday, two Saturdays ago, I was outside of LA for for a wedding That originally is going to be like 150 hundred and 175 people. They cut it down to about 70 people. Very lovely resort with an event planner whose work I really enjoy and marvel at. And it was overcast, driving down, raindrops falling on the car, it was just a little surrealistic. I mean, I've not done a wedding in eight months. And finally, when I'm doing something of a sizable number, it was the rain. And for anybody who has listened to any number of our podcasts knows how you and I feel about rain, or in particular how I feel about rain. So, get to the venue. And she's done such a wonderful job. It's on a terrace. And I should point out that for the venue, all events, corporate, wedding, everything must be held outdoors, there is nothing can take place inside. So the idea is the ceremony is on the terrace, and then the reception will be on another portico patio type thing that would have ceiling covering, but open sides. So for the ceremony aspect, the event planner, had erected a tent that had a clear roof to it. And it was four open sides to this tent. And I was standing out obviously, where you normally stand. And that's where there was floral decor, and all that good stuff. And it was flush against a wall. I looked and I thought, it's a little nippy, there'll be rain. But we've got ourselves a tent. Okay, so now that I've set that up. Prior to the ceremony, there are 2, 3 things I want to say about this, that remind me of why we love weddings, right? So brides of the ceremony, know we have a holding area, had never met the couple in person, before everything was done by zoom. Because when they first met me, they were out of state. 
All right. So I'm introduced to the parents and all that good stuff. And some time goes by and just standing around. And at one point I like hear the groom talking to the bride's mother and father. And he's reviewing with them. What's going to happen in the procession, like father's gonna walk the bride down the aisle, they're going to stop at the first row. And then the mother is going to take a step over and join them. And I'm going to ask who presents this woman and the parents together, we're going to say a word or two, lovely little touch, and then the groom will come over and give them a hug and all that sort of thing. He's describing this to the bride's parents. And I thought, Oh, I might as well go over here, because it's like, this is my show. I go over and I said, You are spot on. I said, but you know what? You don't have to worry about anything. I'll guide you through it. Just enjoy. 
The mother says to me, Oh, thank you. She says That's very kind of you. But I do have a question. She's just now what am I supposed to say we do? Or I do? And I said, Oh, you can say whatever you want. I mean, technically it's we do, you'll say it together. But it's fine. Oh, no, because I really want to say I do. That's fine. That works. She says okay, then the husband says, No, we're going to say we do.
I just want to say I loved 20 minutes before the start of the ceremony. These parents aren't like getting into an argument about I do versus we do. And finally, I just looked at them and I said, You know what, it really doesn't matter. I said, I realized we just met. And you're going to have to trust me. I said, because in approximately 15 minutes time, you are going to lose your mind. You will not recognize your daughter when she comes down the aisle, you will not know I from we, when I asked that question, the two of you are going to stare at me. And you will have no words. So just enjoy it. It's that exquisite moment.


Clint  10:33  
Well, you handled that really well. Because while you were telling me when you said, either way, and then the interplay between the father and the mother, I thought to myself, Oh, I am so happy for JP, he is in hog heaven right now, being a part of this conversation. This is just right up your alley. It's so great.


JP Reynolds  10:53  
It's fabulous. Fabulous. But she had actually reached out to me a couple of times by email since she was giving me payment and everything. And I said I just have to tell you how much I love this conversation. It because this is only a conversation that the mother could have. This is a true mother of the bride conversation. Just fabulous. Fabulous. No father, the bride, we care about it versus wait, just the exquisiteness of detail. 
So then we move on to the ceremony and and there we all are under the tent and it's getting darker, cooler and and it's now time for the vows and the groom delivers his vows just so, Oh, so heartfelt, so exquisite. And then I dramatically hand the bride her vow book. And she begins the vows. And I think she got into like, three sentences. And out of nowhere, it started to rain. Oh, and it was just pellets, pellets on the plastic tarp that was was shielding everybody. But it was just pelting and loud. And people laughed for a moment. And we had a good sound system. She was holding the mic, and she just plowed through. And I was just like, this is dramatic. And we're covered. And of course, what I didn't realize was that we all were covered by the tarp. Except one person. Oh, no. Yes. And however it was where I was standing. I thought I was standing underneath some floral decor. And I guess I was but that decor was not covered by the tarp. And so the rain just started to it was like being in a bathroom shower. And then suddenly, it was like somebody took a bucket. And just like God did on me. Yes, yes. Yes, yes. And there's nothing to do because there is no place indoors that we could even if we wanted it as an option that we could go to. We just was just no option, because pandemic regulations.


Clint  14:05  
You talk a lot about maintaining social distance and, being safe and that kind of stuff. In my mind's eye, the way I envision what you're describing, you're kind of stuck, because you don't want to move closer. You know what I mean? Did it feel like that?


JP Reynolds  14:18  
Well, in that moment, you're thinking more rain than COVID. But I did motions. And it was tricky because she's in the middle of the vows. And they were beautiful vows. So they instinctively moved a little bit further into the aisle. And I moved a little bit but it still wasn't enough. And I just looked at everybody and I said, folks, don't worry, we only have 45 minutes left to the ceremony.


And yeah, a got them laughing and the bride continued. And it was like by God we are plowing through, and we still had the rings and the blessing and I have never. I mean, truly drenched. Part of why I'm telling this because it's in our ongoing series of rain stories. But then when we went into air afterwards, when I went back to where they were holding up. And the parents, a couple other people said, Wow, he said, you just were just unflappable. You just plug on, you just be the captain of the ship, you brought us home. And I realized, I really hadn't thought of it that way, or I wasn't conscious of that in the moment. But it made me realize, again, what does it means to be an officiant? It's not simply officiating the ceremony. What does it mean to officiate? It's not simply the words that you're saying. It's that you are there to be the rock and the guide, and you aren't captain of the ship, and it is as Officiant as your job to bring these people from point A to point z.


Clint  16:45  
I agree. And you know, quite honestly, they were lucky that they had you. I mean, really, that's the way I feel about that stuff. Would you describe these things and you? And then you explain how you decided to handle this situation? I always think that couples and the families are so lucky that they had you. The thing about the mom, I have to admit, I don't really understand certain dynamics between like a mother and a daughter. 
Now, I did a wedding. And I got called two days before the wedding. Today's Tuesday. So just a few days ago. I got called on Thursday. Apparently the officiant that was scheduled, became ill and took a covid test. But they weren't going to get the results until after the wedding day. And they thought, okay, we better go to plan B. We better find another officiant. And so when the event planner called me, I said what's their emotional connection to the other officiant? I ended up talking to the bride about a half hour later. And she said no, we had hired somebody because we wanted a professional. And I said, Okay, because I would have felt bad if like a personal friend or a family member or whatever. I wanted to be sensitive to that situation. But here's the moment that really struck me when it becomes that dynamic between, like you were talking about, a mother of the bride and that sort of thing. 
So, we're lined up, there's only about 25 people there all spaced and we’re at a golf course and it’s beautiful, like terrace that overlooks the course. It just stunning. And I do what I always do, which is I go check with the bride because the couple did not show up until pretty close to start time. And I did get a chance to meet the groom. But then I met the bride for the first time face to face. She looked great, and we were off to the side. Nobody could see us and her dad, she said something about her dad had to go check on something. And so he walked away. And I just started to shoot the breeze. And she mentioned that she just had a conversation with her mom, and she's a little rattled. I say what happened or something along the lines of and she just started to talk about Oh, my mom. And she didn't go into detail. And I will admit the first person I thought of was you JP. But I had to make a call. I had to in my mind. I'm thinking I am really curious. I really want to know what happened. I want to know what the mom said. Apparently the bride thought that it was inappropriate and apparently this is something that the two of them have been through 5 billion times. It's just that this is her wedding day. And so I thought I really want to know but then I looked at the bride and I could tell on her face. She really wanted to put that behind her. She wanted to compartmentalize and not Think about that, because she's about to walk up the aisle and get married. And I thought, Okay, I need to shut up. I need to make this all go away. Let's redirect. And so I just I did what you do to a five year old, I, you know, they're upset about something and you redirect them, you start taking their attention over on something else. So I just started talking about something else that was going to happen in the wedding. And, I could see the relief of the bride in regards to Oh, thank you for giving me something else to think about. Because I don't want to think about what just happened. And that was hard. Because normally I would let people vent. But we literally were two minutes away from walking down the aisle. And so I thought, okay, now's not the time, and I have to put what I want aside. And, everything worked out great. But what is that dynamic? between a mother and a daughter, I don't understand.


JP Reynolds  20:58  
You’ve got a wife,


Clint  21:00  
I have a wife And I have a daughter.


JP Reynolds  21:01  
You can go into a zoom Breakout Room afterwards. And you're gonna talk to those two?


Clint  21:11  
Well, now, they're best friends. The teenage years are rough. Yeah, but now my daughter's 21. And now she is my wife's champion. She like, oh, god forbid that I do anything, or say anything that she thinks isn't worthy of my mom or of her mom, my wife. Because she comes to her defense and they laugh. So I really I don't get it. I don't understand. I'm really happy that the two of them are going through this phase. But that thing with the bride and her mom, boy.
And you know what I'm talking about right?


JP Reynolds  21:54  
Oh, yeah. I love it. It's like to two guys sitting at the bar. Having a beer. shooting the breeze? I'm loving it. Yeah, man.


Clint  22:18  
Oh, my gracious.
Yeah, I think I agree. Listener, if you are expecting another episode next week? Well, I'm sorry. But in America, it's Thanksgiving week.


JP Reynolds  22:34  
But in America not in Italy.


Clint  22:36  
They're thankful for number 98 every day. And so we're gonna take the week off next week and we will see you in December. And that's it. Remember JP’S books are in the Amazon store and in the Kindle store in Amazon. For communications coaching that website is thebusinessofconfidence.com. His wedding website is JPRweddings.com. Mine is ReverendClint.com or ClintHufft.com for all the things that I do. All of our episodes are archived on our website. It's weddingceremonypodcast.com, the most recent one is at the top. That also is where the Email button is. And that way you can send us a note. ask us a question. Tell us a story. We love that. Thank you again to Christopher out in New York for telling us some of the stories. I think that's awesome that we will bring up in a later episode. You can subscribe to our podcast if you want that makes it so much easier. Just go to the Apple podcast store, look up wedding ceremony podcast, click on subscribe. And every time we put a new episode into the podcast world, it'll automatically come to you and it's also where you can leave us a review if you'd like to. That's one of the ways that people discover us. Thank you again to the amazing thank you again to the incredible musicians that play our theme music that Dacapoplayers.com. That's it for this episode of the wedding ceremony podcast. This is Clint and I'll be half of JP. We will see you next time.

#293
Clint  0:00  
Hey everybody, welcome to the wedding ceremony podcast. We talk about anything and everything that has to do with wedding ceremonies. This is episode number 293, recorded on Tuesday, November 3, 2020. My name is Clint Hufft. And with me is the one and only JP Reynolds.


JP Reynolds  0:18  
It's good to be with you, Clint.


Clint  0:22  
And it is good to be with you as well. JP, do you think you really are the one and only JP Reynolds?


JP Reynolds  0:30  
Oh, you know, that is so funny that you should ask that question. Because, number one, I had a JP Reynolds on LinkedIn look me up. Okay. And it turns out, he's like a musician. And number two, I'm doing a wedding this weekend. And the groom's name is JP. 


Clint
Oh, no kidding. 


JP
So I know, I'm not the only JP Reynolds,


Clint  0:56  
It probably stands for other names than what yours does? I'm guessing.


JP Reynolds  1:02  
Um, yes. And I forget what his names are. But when you are JP, you don't deal with names. The JP’S just deal with the initials.


Clint  1:16  
You know how you the guy on LinkedIn reached out to you because he is also JP Reynolds, right? Yeah. So, many years ago. I mean, a long time ago, when I was more involved in the entertainment industry, I had a stage name. It was my middle name. So my stage name was Clint Richards. And I had that for a long time. One day, here's what I did. I looked up in the phonebook, this tells you how long ago it was, I looked up in the phonebook just to see if there were any other Clint Richards because my legal name is obviously Clint Hufft.


JP Reynolds  1:51  
Right. Allegedly, allegedly.


Clint  1:54  
Yeah. Go with that under the pretense of the podcast. So as long as I'm in my bunker, I think I'm safe. I found one nearby, and I called the number and a woman answered the phone. And I said, Hi, is Clint Richards there? And she says, he doesn't live here! And she hung up the phone. And so I thought, Okay, wait a minute, something is not right. And so I called her back. And I said, before you hang up, my name is also Clint Richards. And she says, Oh, my gosh, it is? I said, Yeah, that's my stage name. And I'm in the nightclub business. And I do all these other things. And I just wanted to say if anybody is calling looking for me, it's because they only know me by that name. And here's my my number if you want forward it. And she almost started crying. She said, Oh, my gosh, thank you so much. We've been getting these calls from these women, and it's just breaking my heart. Why do they want to talk to my boyfriend? I don't understand.


JP  2:54  
Haha.


Clint  2:58  
And so I made the world a little happier that day.


JP Reynolds  3:04  
Oh, Clint. I know. But as a New Yorker, I think you alleviated her pain, but I still think the guy was cheating on her.


Clint  3:17  
Oh, well, I had to, what do you call it? I kick the dust off my shoes. And I washed my hands of the situation and went on with my life. I've done what I was supposed to do.


JP Reynolds  3:29  
Clint Richards. Yes.


Clint  3:31  
Yeah, yeah, yeah, it kind of had a nice little roll to it, because it was my middle name. And it was easy to for me to remember.


JP Reynolds  3:38  
I am just sitting here like rocking back and forth because there's so much I want to say and I'm not gonna say any of it. I'm just gonna be a polite podcast host.


Clint  3:56  
I can see in the future when we are not recording and perhaps a beverage is shared. That we will have that conversation.


JP Reynolds  4:04  
You know it. I will not forget this Clint.


Clint  4:09  
What have I done?


JP 4:10  
Mm hmm.


Clint  4:13  
I should acknowledge that today is election day here in the United States of America. And so by the time I post this something will have happened. And hopefully something will have happened and then maybe if it's relevant in a future episode, we'll give everybody an update but I have a feeling it's such a big deal, The entire world is paying attention to this. The calendar also tells me that this last weekend was Halloween and it was one of those rare times where Halloween was on a Saturday. I did not have a wedding. And you told me before we started recording that you also did not have a wedding on Halloween.


JP Reynolds  4:56  
I have only in all of the years of officiating weddings. I only had one wedding on Halloween.


Clint  5:06  
Did they dress up like in costume and stuff?


JP Reynolds  5:09  
They did.


Clint  5:10  
Oh, did you have fun?


JP Reynolds  5:13  
It was in a nice venue. It was here in LA and it was at a kind of a happening hotel. And the two things that I remember about the wedding was one sweet couple. The groom. His family was Italian American. I will respectfully say in the most stereotypical of ways. His mother was a widow. And he was the only son. And he had three or four sisters. And he was the youngest. So he was treated as the prince, the Crown Prince of the family. Yes. And the phrase, mama's boy was invented to describe the relationship this young man had with his mother. I am not sure that I have ever seen a mother look more unhappy at a wedding than this woman.


Clint  6:30  
Oh, no.


JP Reynolds  6:32  
Because this hussy was taking her boy away from her. 


Clint
Oh my gosh, it's a real thing. You saw? 


JP
Oh, yes. Oh, yes. And they did share with me that there was a lot of tension. Because the mother did not want him to ever get married. Except to her. And it was a costume and all the guests were asked to wear costume. And they did and they really, like people invested time and money in their costumes. This was a real costume affair. And the mother dressed like Mary Todd Lincoln, because she was all dressed in black like the widow's weeds. You know, you heard that. And I could not look at her in the ceremony. I could not look at her in the ceremony. It was just like, Okay, ma'am. This is a wedding. This is not a funeral. But that was a very unhappy mother. And she would have been unhappy no matter what female was standing next to her, bro.


Clint  7:45  
Yeah, that's the feeling I'm getting based on what you've said, Oh my gosh.


JP Reynolds  7:49  
Now the bride and groom dressed in costume as a bride and groom.


Clint  7:59  
Excuse me, that's cheating. That's not fair.


JP Reynolds  8:03  
But the other thing why this wedding is actually near and dear to my heart is because this is the wedding where the rings were presented by the bride's cousin. So I would now ask for the presentation of the rings and music started and the bride's cousin appeared in the back of the room. It was held indoors at a ballroom. She appeared at the back of the ballroom and proceeded down the aisle doing a belly dance with a sword balanced on her head.


Clint  8:47  
Oh, yes. That was the Halloween wedding. Oh, my gracious.


JP Reynolds  8:53  
Yes, yes.


Clint  8:54  
Yes. With a sword balanced on her head. A belly dance. Oh, my gracious.


JP Reynolds  9:01  
So every Halloween this couple they do pop into my head. I have no idea what happened to them or to the mother or to the belly dancer. But ever since that wedding, whenever I meet with a couple is always a little part of my heart to thinks maybe today I'm speaking with a couple who will top the belly dancer. But it's never happened. No one has ever topped a belly dancer.


Clint  9:36  
The bar is too high. It's too high. JP what can they do? So on Saturday night, Halloween night. Things were a little subdued around the house. And it's about well, I want to say nine o'clock at night and I get a call from my sister. This does not happen on a regular basis. She is an officiant up in Reno, Nevada. And she has a very different type of business in that she doesn't do a lot of them. But what she does is very eclectic. She also has been participatory in Burning Man for many years, and has married a lot of people at Burning Man. And a number of years ago, we had her on the on the podcast. And I asked her about some of those weddings. And that was entertaining. So she calls me and I said, Hello, and the first thing she says to me is, what would you do If the only light you had to read the ceremony was a tiki torch? What would you do? And, the full moon. Because not only was it Halloween, there was a full moon out. It was a blue moon. And I'm sorry, for those of you not familiar with that term. It was the second full moon of the month. And so she said the only thing I had in terms of light was the full moon and a tiki torch. I said, How did it go? She said, Well, we got through it. But it was rough. And in fact, they didn't tell her This is the only light we're going to have. And people were dressed up in costume and that kind of stuff. But then they spring it on her at the last second. And this is the the deal. And so she had to reposition the torch and just that kind of stuff. That seems to happen to her a lot where she shows up And then they'll say Oh, and by the way we’ve added that. And it's something that doesn't seem to work fluidly with the ceremony. But, she saw her way through it. And then by coincidence, I talked to an event planner that I know, and she worked last Saturday for a wedding, a Halloween wedding and they went all out. They dressed in costume. The backdrop was lots of spiderwebs. But the backdrop also said “till death”.


JP Reynolds  12:18  
In the age of COVID.


Clint  12:20  
Yes. Oh, that's Yeah. And that cake was a bloody cake. I haven't seen an image of it. That's just the way she described it. It was a bloody cake. The coasters for the drinks were skulls. And they had a dessert bar setup. And all of the desert was in containers that were also skulls. And the wedding was outdoors. But it was it was all in in terms of the Halloween thing. And you know what? I applaud that couple. If they say we want to get married on Halloween, and oh my gosh, look at this. It's gonna be on a Saturday. Oh, my gosh. And then they went all in. I think that's awesome.


JP Reynolds  13:08  
Right. I think that is I think there should be a law that says if you're getting married on Halloween, it has to be costume.


Clint  13:20  
There should be a law?


JP Reynolds  13:22  
Yeah, that says, if you want to get married on Halloween, you have to wear a costume. And it's like, you're doing it on Halloween. You got to go all in.


Clint  13:31  
Okay, yeah, but your couple with the belly dancer, they decided to dress as a bride and a groom. I still think that that's just cheating. If they made everybody else get a costume.


JP Reynolds  13:41  
Oh, what do you know, somebody is a stickler. Technicality there. They were in costume.


Clint  13:53  
I just imagine the people that say it's a costume party. Oh my gosh, I don't have a costume. What are we going to do? And then they have to go and try to figure out a costume and maybe they spent money to buy a costume or whatever it is.


JP Reynolds  14:06  
These people did. These were really good looking costumes. Yeah, I mean, people spent a lot. It was clear that people spend a lot of time and money and thought on how they were going to show up for this.


Clint  14:25  
Was the couple just regular bride and groom or were they some themed bride and groom?


JP Reynolds  14:30  
No, they um they were just sweet. Regular bride and groom. I mean, I don't think they were in the entertainment industry. It was not a reality show wedding. It was just a couple who liked halloween, they they got married at like I called In a four star venue, so it was it was all elegant surroundings. Okay?


Clint  15:10  
I guess. You know what it could be that they were thinking to themselves we're going to be looking at these pictures for the rest of our lives and we want to look at them as where we got married and not as a costume party. Now the reason this is interesting to me is because the very first wedding I ever officiated, the very first one, the couple dressed up as if it was the Victorian age. So she had ringlets in her hair and she had the big like, fluffy dress thingy. And then he wore the old kind of tuxedo with an ascot and they asked me if I would wear a robe and a barristers wig. You know, the white wig? And I said, Sure. And, that's what we did.


JP Reynolds  16:00  
We still have that. Wait, I think. I mean, I've seen you at networking events where in that wig?


Clint  16:07  
Well, sure. I want to get my money's worth.


JP Reynolds  16:14  
You know what, okay, for those listening, it’s just dopey JP here. I've not seen this man in a wig. I could use a wig, not Clint.


Clint  16:21  
I was gonna say, people give me a little bit more respect. With that. Let me tell you. I was trying to think of if there was something else that in that wedding, no, I think that was it, I think, and they didn't expect anybody else to dress up. That was just their gig. And then the wedding party and that kind of stuff. That was a long, long time ago. And I never talked to them, and asked them why, where did this come from? However, there was something that was really cool. And I'm so glad that happened to my very first wedding. Where I said to them, is there anything you want to do, and I will not surprise you. So there's not going to be any surprises. We're going to have it all figured out before we start. And they liked that approach. And then, as we're about to walk out, the music plays for the groomsmen entrance. I said, here we go. And then groom said, wait. And he remembered something at the last second and he wrote it down. And then that was going to be something that he was going to do for her. So we get to that part of the ceremony. And I looked at her and I said, he has a surprise for you. Or no, we have a surprise for you. And she looked at me with that panic look in her face, I guess she was one of those people that really didn't like surprises. But then I turned the mic, I just pointed the mic towards him. And he read this thing that they had both discovered in some fantasy novel, you know, like Lord of the Rings, or one of those type of deals that the both of them really loved. And they shared it with each other. And it was this thing where two people fall in love and one of them professes his love to the other character. And he remembered it. And he wrote it down by memory. And at that moment, he said that to her. And it was awesome and hit her like a ton of bricks and tears and it was fantastic. And I thought okay, everybody gets an opportunity to do that if they want to from now on. It was so cool.


JP Reynolds  18:24  
Oh, that's lovely. Yeah, that's lovely.


Clint  18:27  
Well, oh, and I guess I should mention the one time that I dressed up like Elvis.
Now, I know there are some officiants where dressing up as like their gig. But that was the only time.


JP Reynolds  18:47  
Were you in Vegas. Where were you for that wedding?


Clint  18:50  
No, no, I was in Southern California. And coincidentally enough, the groom from my very first wedding, owned an entertainment company, a DJ, and he called me and said my couple is looking for an officiant who will do it like Elvis, who will dress up like Elvis. And he said the first person I thought of was you. So obviously this is like, really early in my career as an officiant. And I said, Sure, I'll do it. And I said they have to pay for everything but I'll do it. Absolutely. And here's what I discovered. We're almost out of time but let me share this. What I discovered is another thing that has influenced me ever since I did it sounding like Elvis and I think I may have said maybe an Elvis joke or something that Elvis would say. And then when we got to the vows, the ring exchange and the vows, then I noticed there was a complete shift in the energy in the room, because it was light hearted and it was fun and all that kind of stuff. But then when we got to that actual moment, Now we're actually getting married, everything changed. And it got serious and it got romantic and it got intense. And I thought this is really important. Because people can want to have fun and perhaps do something quirky for their wedding. But because we're human beings when we get to the nitty gritty, it's for real and honest. Right? Does that make sense?


JP Reynolds  20:27  
Oh, absolutely. Absolutely.


Clint  20:31  
Yeah, I never forgot that. And I tell people if they're thinking about doing something quirky or out of the ordinary, just be aware that when you get to that moment, it's going to get real. So just don't be surprised. You can have all the fun you want. But when it gets down to, will you and I do and I take you, that changes the whole gig. So, just be prepared for that.


JP Reynolds  20:57  
Well, I think once again, words of wisdom from Clint Richards.


Clint 21:05  
Look me up.


JP Reynolds  21:09  
Now listen, folks may have tuned in today hoping or expecting us to be talking to a special guest. Our special guest had a last minute hiccup and wasn't able to join us. And so hopefully, next week, or very soon, thereafter, we will have our special guest.


Clint  21:36  
Yes, absolutely. And yeah. I'm just really excited. I really am. And I you know, hiccups happen. So, it was good that in a way that we got to talk about Halloween, in Halloween.


JP Reynolds  21:51  
No, no, no Clint. I think it was good that it worked out so that we could learn. Clint Hufft is related to Clint Richards.


Clint  22:03  
Yeah.


JP Reynolds  22:04  
Yeah, Halloween stories were just a nice little bonus. The heart of this episode Is the Clint Richards reveal.


Clint  22:18  
Oh, I’m a little nervous about that. That good drink We're gonna share. I'm a little nervous about that.


JP Reynolds  22:24  
Yes. You know what? He had been with me for 300 episodes. And he thought, Oh, why not? Why not as we approach 300? Come clean. My criminal background.


Clint  22:50  
Oh, man. Oh, man. Well, it'll be interesting to see what comments we get on this episode. Oh, my goodness. 
All right, then everybody. Normally, I say that's the way this works. But it doesn't always work like this. But if you want to reach out to us, you absolutely can go to our website, weddingceremonypodcast.com and click on “email us”. I check it every day. And you can tell us a story. You can make a comment or bring up something that you want us to talk about whatever you want to do. It's all good there. You can also listen to our episodes there because they're right there on the landing page. Archived chronologically and the most recent one is at the top. If you want to make it even simpler, then go to the Apple podcast store and subscribe. Look up wedding ceremony podcast and click the subscribe button. And then every time we post a new episode, it'll automatically come into your podcast world. You can also leave us a review if you want to. That's totally cool. That's how people find us. Remember, the JP’S books are in the Amazon store and in the Kindle store in Amazon. For communications coaching His website is thebusinessofconfidence.com. His wedding website is Jprweddings.com. Mine is ReverendClint.com or ClintHufft.com for all the things that I do. I do not own Clint richards.com so don't even try. We want to thank the incredible musicians that play our theme music dacapoplayers.com. That's it for this episode of the wedding ceremony podcast. This is Clint and on behalf a JP, We'll see you next time.

#292
Clint  0:00  
Hey everybody, welcome to the wedding ceremony podcast. We talk about anything and everything that has to do with wedding ceremonies. This is episode number 292, recorded on Tuesday, October the 27th. My name is Clint Hufft. And with me is a gentleman that has no idea what I'm about to say the one and only JP Reynolds.


JP Reynolds  0:22  
You know, you're right. I don't.


Clint  0:27  
Well, you do you do know what I'm about to say. JP is an accomplished author, his books are in the Amazon store and in the Kindle Store in Amazon. He is a communications expert. Thebusinessofconfidence.com is that website. His wedding website is JPRweddings.com. Mine is ReverendClint.com or ClintHufft.com, for all of the things that I do.
JP, I host, six podcasts.


JP Reynolds  0:59  
Wow.


Clint  1:01  
I know. And so I love every single one of them. And the reason I bring that up is I just finished editing one of the final episodes for this year for the wedding MBA conference, which, little plug here, will begin online on November the 10th. It's all digital, it's all on demand. And so weddingmba.com if you want to get in on that. 
I did a wedding about I don't know, not that long ago. And it was frustrating. And I know that you know what I'm about to describe. It's frustrating because this is a wedding that was scheduled for a while ago. And then it got rescheduled, and then it got rescheduled, again, into like a micro wedding at a really nice place. Now, where it was originally scheduled, was nice. But where it ended up was really nice. And it was on a Tuesday. And so that was part of the deal. The venue is probably having a real hard time filling their their dates and getting customers in and so they probably did some kind of wheeling and dealing and said, if it's on a Tuesday, then come on in. And so it was lovely. Everything was lovely, except for one thing that just kind of kept nagging at me after the ceremony. Hmm. So I'm in contact with them for the original date. And, my process, you know, we build the ceremony together. And so right as we were about to get into that process, they began to realize that they might have to reschedule. And so I was looking at my emails, I have to go back and track and make sure I follow the thread of communication. And the bottom line is when we got to the Tuesday, a little while ago, we hadn't actually met or communicated like verbally in a really long time. Right. And, I showed up, and I, okay, this is gonna sound a little weird, but I felt like I was not really important. You know how there have been times where you walk into a room. You ever walk into a room and the bride starts crying? Because she sees you and she realizes it's real. It's about to happen. Does that ever happen to you?


JP Reynolds  3:37  
Ah, not. Not, not when? Not when she sees me. I'll get her to cry Later. I do like the idea.
God love you can walk into a room, a woman looks at you and burst into tears. Yes. And I love that your interpretation is she's happy to see you.


Clint  4:08  
Oh, no, I'm really clear that she tears not because she's happy to see me. Although that might be a part of it. She burst into tears because oh my gosh, this is really happening and all that stuff that has been welling up inside her since the moment that she said yes. On the elopement, not the elopement but the engagement. What do you call it, proposal. Yeah, on the proposal, all of that's been welling up and everything that she's been going through to plan this thing and everybody that's been interacting with her.


JP Reynolds  4:42  
I'm giving you a hard time i i'm not sure that I've seen. I've made women cry when I walked into the room, bride or men for that matter, but there has been that reaction of Okay, JP’s here, this is getting real now. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. Yes.


Clint  5:07  
Well, this didn't feel like that. Okay, it was bizarre, quite honestly, to be quite frank, part of what we do is pretty much an ego stroke. I mean, we have this wonderful job where people keep telling us, it's not going to happen without you. And, then they all are deferential to us as officiants.  And it's very rare when it just seems like, we're just not that big of a deal. So, here's the thing, they acknowledged me, okay, the officiant is here. And, I started going through my checklist of making sure that we all know what's about to happen, and that sort of thing. So I want to do the checklist with the bride. But the bride is not really paying attention to me. Now I have this thing, that if I need to make sure you understand what I'm saying, you're absorbing what I'm trying to tell you, I will wait until I have your complete attention. So this particular bride was just kind of like, I mean, there was one time where I was going to talk to her about the rings. And she literally walked away from me, because she had to go in front of a mirror to do the veil or something. They'd already seen each other, they just got done with all their photos. Yeah. And now we're in the bridal suite. And, I just need to knock this stuff out. You know what I mean? I don't have to be Mr. bossy pants. But this is kind of important stuff. So that everybody feels comfortable. And the fact that she actually walked away from me. And then there was another time where I'm about to say something, and I see. And she turns her head to somebody else. You know, as if I wasn't even talking. Somebody else says, Susie, I forget her first name, Susie. And then she turns away from me. And I thought, Man, this is a struggle. What the heck, I'm not the one getting married here. Don't you want this to go Well? You know what I mean? Have you ever had any semblance, or any like fraction of that feeling when you're trying to finalize stuff before the ceremony?


JP Reynolds  7:22  
Well, this is actually interesting.


Clint  7:31  
292 episodes, it's the first time you've actually said to me, this is actually interesting.


JP Reynolds  7:38  
I knew if I waited long enough to get to a podcast, but I thought it was interesting.


Clint  7:43  
I finally come up to you.


JP Reynolds  7:46  
See, all good things for those who wait. Before we went on the air, we did our usual do you have something? Do you have something? And you said I have a tidbit. And I said, Well, we know what tidbits oftentimes morph into. And this is a little tidbit that's morphing into something interesting. And I think first of all, you've identified a real phenomenon regarding the fact that so many in the majority of our weddings have migrated to next year. And in the last couple of months, since roughly the middle of July. I think you and I and I'm presuming other officiants listening, have been getting these random calls from couples where it's, we're going micro, we're getting married this year. We're just exhausted. We got to do it. And I find for myself and I will admit that I take pride in being preeminently on top of things professionally, but there is a strong ditzy streak in my personality. And I will admit I was supposed to see you in May and I supposed to see you in July. Who are you again? So I have been making extra effort to make sure that I zoom with all of these couples, before I do my micro wedding. Because I need to reconnect with them. There's been articles written anecdotal evidence COVID is just messing with our sense of time and place and then add the fact that we have a roster of clients that keep shuffling from from month to month, venue to venue. I shoot them an email and I say, we can just hop on the zoom for 10 minutes, it would be great in which to review and reconfirm the ceremony because I need to make that connection. So I think you've identified an important phenomenon, then, in terms of arriving at the ceremony site, and not having people start to cry when they see me. Um, I think, yeah, there are some couples who do make a focused three or four minutes to talk with me. Okay. I'm very much aware that it's utter chaos before the ceremony. And my concern is that I speak to at least one of the two people, either the bride or the groom, in an ideal situation, they did the first look, both of them at the same time to give them a quick rundown. I don't go into a lot of detail because they're out of their minds. And I simply reassure them, I will guide you through everything. And I just need you to get up there, look at each other, hold hands, I will guide you through it all. However, I always want to figure out which of the two people is more in their right mind when I arrive. And can I have a few moments to take them aside and say, Look, I don't expect you to remember anything that I'm about to tell you. But I want to just verbally say to you, that this is what's going to happen for the vows or for the rings or for the roses for the whatever. I think more times than not, we are able to do that. And then there are those circumstances where you just described and I've come to realize that for some people, I am the hired help. I am the hired help. And they're going to pay me an agreed upon fee. And they're going to be polite. And they will not remember my name next week.


Clint  12:51  
That's a weird feeling, though, isn't it?


JP
I've come to de-weirdize It.


Clint  13:05  
is there a hyphen in that?


JP Reynolds  13:06  
I think it may be two. D weird eyes it. Um, I used to think it was weird. And then I realized I can be more invested in this than they are. And there's also the reality not everybody puts the same as we know, we've talked about this. Not every couple puts the same premium upon the ceremony as other couples, right? For some couples, it's simply, okay, we got to do the ceremony in order to get to the party.


Clint 13:41  
Right.


JP Reynolds  13:43  
The other thing I also realize is, in terms of a cool reception to me, I don't know what the morning was like, I don't know who they had an argument with whether it was with each other, with a mother with a father. I don't know what that was a snafu with the event planner. And the reality is of what we do, there are some couples that we fall madly in love with. You know, it's just Can I move into your basement? I love you, I want to share with you every night. And then there are other couples where it's, I don't want to say it's transactional because I never want to be transactional. But it’s I don't need to live in your basement. Right. And that's what this sounds like that there was a couple who they hired you. You were there to do a function. They trusted you. Now leave us alone. Just do what you have to do. And we'll take your lead.


Clint  14:47  
It wasn't quite to that point. But it was a little disconcerting. Now there is another element to this that I haven't revealed yet. Here it comes.


JP  14:55  
Oh yes.


Clint  14:58  
Yes. The maid or matron, the matron of honor? Yes, is how they found me. And she is an event planner that I've worked with before. So whenever an event planner refers us to, I mean, it was a sister that was getting married. I always take that as a big compliment. You trust me enough for your sister. Thank you. That's really cool. But, I also got this kind of like lack of investment. How can I put this? It was a simple wedding. And so, there wasn't that many people there. And and so from that standpoint, it was simple. I think maybe they afterwards they weren't going to stay at the resort, they were going to go to some restaurant or something. And so all of it from an event planner standpoint, I can see where this is so easy. It's no big deal, don't worry, it's all right. And, I guess it was kind of like and Clint will take care of you. So don't worry about that. ButI had to push just a little bit, I had to provide a little bit more, you know when you try to get people to pay attention to you by concentrating harder on them, something like that. Yeah, so I had to do that, even with the maid of honor the matron of honor, just to kind of talk over everything. Because sometimes the event planner, I cut them a lot of slack, because I don't know who they've worked with before. But sometimes the event planner will try to take care of everything, even as it goes into the logistics of the wedding ceremony that I'm personally responsible for. And I found over the years that there are certain things that are, they're just handled better. I've been through this a million times, if I just arrange this with the wedding party or arrange this with the parents, then it all works out really well. And everybody has a better experience. But they've been told by the event planner, that it's going to go a different way. And I know you've been through that. All right. Yeah. And so what I say is very quietly, I say, well, we're going to change that just a little bit. And then I tell them what we're actually going to do. Right, like 1.1% of the time. No, I didn't say that right. Point 1% of the time, then I'll get a little pushback, like the dad is like, well, that's not what we rehearsed. And I don't want to change it. And I'll say, okay, that's fine. But, I that I felt this kind of a scenario in this little micro wedding, where it seemed as though the sister who is a very good event planner, had told everybody what was going to happen before I even got there to explain what was going to happen. And so I had to just kind of tweak a few things. I wasn't used to that. I'm used to people who refer me and they understand my rhythms and they know that when I show up, I literally am going to take care of everything that I'm in contact with. Unless it, like you say, unless it's like choreography or something like that, but it was just a little disconcerting. 
The end. 
I have something else I need to bring up. Are you ready?


JP Reynolds  18:40  
For the second podcast? I'll say I'm ready. I know you're in a delicate mood today.


Clint  18:53  
Okay, we got an email from one of our listeners, Peter. Oh, Peter, I'm so sorry. I'm gonna try to say your name. Please forgive me. Boruchowitz, yeah, he's in New York. And I think that we were talking about, I think you had a zoom wedding. And then a couple was, I was 


JP
I did not complete. The wedding did not. I had a couple friends in New York, who inquired about the zoom wedding. Okay, place. Yeah.


Clint  19:22  
Well, Peter thought it was important that we clear that up, because he does 5 billion weddings in New York. And so he said, the question was whether an officiant needs to be in New York to perform an online wedding, because it's online. Do you have to physically be in New York? And he says the answer is unambiguously Yes. Published in the regional emergency executive order signed by Governor Cuomo, the governor of New York way back in April 18. Let's see. I guess it read the whole the requirements were subsequently affirmed. Okay. Blah, blah, blah. The officiant Couple of the witnesses not located in New York State during the ceremony, video conference, the marriage is not valid. So he talked about an officiant, who lives in Connecticut, and works a lot in New York, that if they're doing an online wedding, that officiant will cross the state border, to be standing in New York State. So that everything is legal. So that answers that question that if you're going to do an online wedding, everybody has to physically be in.


JP Reynolds  20:25  
Thank you, Peter, for clarifying I. I found it so fascinating. Because, Oh, perfect purpose of zoom, is that you have to be near the people you're zooming with, right? And it's like, okay, New York, I didn't realize you were so anal on it. It's like, I know that there's something a little complicated about how you all have to be in New York, like whenever I think it should simply be you have to have a New York accent. And it doesn't matter where you


Clint  21:04  
See, now you have a monopoly on the industry though, California. 


JP
Yes, I do. Yes. Hello. Yeah. 


Clint
Peter just says there's one more thing where some couples he does, he marries a bunch of couples that actually live in New Jersey. And he says that he's had several couples from New Jersey drive across the bridge, or through the tunnel with the witness, and get married in their car to make sure they're legally inside the state of New York.


JP Reynolds  21:30  
Right. And that, by the way, for people who are not familiar with New York, that notion of driving through the tunnel or driving across the bridge, that is iconic, and many a person who lives in New Jersey and who works in New York has spent a significant portion of their life in a tunnel and on a bridge.


Clint  22:00  
you mean because of traffic? Yeah. Okay. Well, thank you, Peter. And I'm glad we cleared that up.


JP Reynolds  22:05  
Already. Clint.


Clint  22:07  
Alright, JP, I think that's it for this episode of The What do we call this podcast?


JP Reynolds  22:14  
Well, I think it's group therapy for you. Clint, I see you, I recognize you, I validate you, bro, I give you a virtual hug. Thank you. Like the couple. I'm turning my head and like paying attention to what you're saying.


Clint  22:40  
But don't take it personally. The thing that was finally interesting isn't interesting anymore.


JP Reynolds  22:47  
Yeah, it was kind of interesting. But yeah, whatever.


Clint  22:52  
And the moments gone and scene.
All right. Now I want to give everybody a heads up, we have a special guest next week. And that's all I'm going to tell you. We have a special guest next week, we're both pretty excited about this. And so mark your calendars. I don't even know if you can mark your calendars because it's whenever I post the episode, but generally speaking, it's going to be around Tuesday of next week. And and we're very excited that this person has decided to join us. She's an accomplished author, and she's created something that is really, really cool. And so that will be next week.


JP Reynolds  23:30  
Hopefully she won't have something better come up. And then she'll just blow us off.


Clint  23:38  
Turn and talk to somebody else. Yes,


JP  23:40  
yes.


Clint  23:42  
Walk away while I'm still talking. All right, everybody. That's the way this works. Remember, you can reach out to us the same way that Peter did, all you have to do is go to our website, weddingceremonypodcast.com and click on the email us button. Tell us a story. ask us a question, clarify something the way Peter did, it's all good. And that's how you do that. And you will also notice it on the very same landing page are all of our episodes. They're all archived chronologically, the most recent one was at the top. And we also have added a page where we start putting up the transcripts of our conversations, which is scary and exciting all at the same time. And, and that's the way that works. We also suggest you go to the Apple podcast store or any of the apps on your mobile devices that access that library and subscribe to the wedding ceremony podcast and that way every time I post a new episode, it'll automatically come into your world. That's also where you can leave us a review if you would like to. That's one of the ways people find us. Remember the JP’S books are in the Amazon store and the Kindle Store in Amazon. For communications coaching thebusinessofconfidence.com. His wedding website is JPRweddings.com. And mine is ReverendClint.com or ClintHufft.com for all the things that I do. Thank you again to the Incredible musicians that play our theme music that DacapoPlayers.com. That's it for this episode of the wedding ceremony podcast. This is Clint and on behalf of JP We will see you next time.

#291
Clint  0:01  
Hey everybody, welcome to the wedding ceremony podcast. We talk about anything and everything that has to do with wedding ceremonies. This is episode number 291, recorded on Tuesday, October 20 2020. Well, isn't that something 20 2020? Hmm. My name is Clint Hufft. And with me is a gentleman that also was excited about numbers that repeat themselves over and over again, the one and only JP Reynolds.


JP Reynolds  0:29  
How did you know that? And it's true, though.


Clint  0:36  
So today was an exciting day for you. Is that what you're saying?


JP Reynolds  0:40  
You know, I did not realize that it was 10/20 2020. Say that 10 times fast.


Clint  0:48  
Truth be told, I didn't really realize it until I had to say it out loud. And then I thought, oh, today's a big day. Which makes me think that Well, before I get into that, JP is an accomplished author. His books are in the Amazon store and in the Kindle store in Amazon. He is a communications expert. thebusinessofconfidence.com is that website, his wedding website is JPRweddings.com. Mine is Reverendclint.com. Or ClintHufft.com, for all of the things that I do. Speaking of today, I know that a Saturday ago, I guess, about well, literally 10 days ago, that the it was 10/10 2020. And apparently, a lot of people targeted that date. Our friend Alan Katz, who owns an officiant company here in Southern California, I don't know what the amount of weddings that his company officiated, because he's got like, 30 officiants on his roster, or something like that. But it apparently broke all records. It was just crazy. And, of course, most of those were micro weddings, and, minis and stuff like that. But he told me that every single one of his officiants were booked on that day, and many of them multiple weddings. He has a chapel where people can get married. And then of course, they'll go on location as well. But that was a huge day. And every year there's a date, usually a singular date, that seems to be the most desirable. That seems to be the most desirable date of the year. And, it seems like I would guess a lot of people are getting married today, because we talked a couple of episodes ago about how, because of the pandemic, that it almost doesn't make any difference what day of the week it is that people are going to if they're going to have a micro wedding or an elopement or whatever then any day of the week is fair game. And so I bet there's a bunch of stuff going on today for that company.


JP Reynolds  2:56  
Interesting. I am always fascinated by the numbers, and I always forget the numbers until  maybe signing the marriage license. Oh, right. Like, with a nice number. One day, they were so insistent on getting married today.


Clint  3:22  
Well, there's numbers like, 10/10 2020 or 10/20 2020, that are easy for for me to wrap my mind around. It's just simple. But then for those people who are into numerology, and there are some customs, traditions that are really into that, where a date will pop up as being incredibly popular. And I have no idea why until somebody explains the stars are in alignment or whatever it is. And then it becomes the most requested of the year. But I think 10/10 2020 takes the cake. I think it wins the prize.


JP Reynolds  4:01  
We had couples asked me to date their marriage license with the numerological date, even though they weren't having their big public ceremony on that date.


Clint  4:19  
So you've met with them twice the first you did the legal part. And then you did the big one.


JP Reynolds  4:23  
Yeah, I mean, it was basically, So you're getting married. You want to be a husband and wife? Yeah, okay, fine. It's like on a Monday or a Tuesday, and then that Saturday, we're doing the big wedding or whatever.


Clint  4:41  
You know, that kind of legal thing. I get a big kick out of that. Close to where I live, about five minutes away, is one of the clerk recorders offices that issues marriage licenses here in Los Angeles County. And there have been a number of times where I have met the couple there, and for whatever reason they need to get legally married as quickly as possible, and I always tell them, I'll meet you there. And it's really fun. Because they'll walk outside with a license, I'll fill out the paperwork, I'll look at them and say you want to marry him, you want to marry her? Okie dokie. And then sign the license, hand it back to them, and they walk back in to file their paperwork. I just get a kick out of that, because it's so simple. I mean, that's really all it's about in regards to the legal wedding is do you willingly enter into this agreement? Yeah. And I like that, where it takes on an air of, I mean, of course, it's serious, from a certain standpoint, because it is a binding contract. But when you compare it to the formality of a full wedding ceremony, to be able to just say, do ya, I really think that's a lot of fun. In regards to people that need to get married, legally, under certain situations, let me rephrase that, in regards to people that need to get legally married under specific circumstances, years ago, there was a couple, and they got legally married in, I want to say, Indonesia, or Bali, or something like that. I'm not that good with South Pacific geography. But anyway, that was a deal. And they got legally married there, and I had to explain to them, I have to see the license. I’ve got to see the license in order for me to use the language that you want in your wedding ceremony. With no license, I can't say husband, wife, or mister and Mrs., and that sort of stuff. And what was fascinating is they had to jump through a bunch of hoops, because it was out in the middle of the Pacific. Okay, I'm not gonna say anything else, because then I would be unfair to somebody else. But the important thing was, when they finally got copies of the marriage license, it was all in French. And, then they had to have it translated for me. Finally, they all got it all done. And it was fine. It was done in plenty of time for the wedding day. But that was the most interesting experience in regards to that type of a situation because usually, if they've already gotten legally married somewhere in America, it's so easy. Just make sure that you get a certified copy and just let me see it. But the hoops that these people had to jump through with that government and what the government was requesting from them so they could get what they needed. It was fascinating. And I had to admit, in order for this to be for real, I don't read French and so I got to see it in English. And, and they did it. They did everything they need to do.


JP Reynolds  7:47  
Interesting,


Clint  7:48  
But there's a little bit of trepidation, like, Are we going to get the documents we need in time? You know, that kind of thing?


JP Reynolds  7:59  
Yes, I'm, well, I'm curious, because if they were recognizing that wedding, as their official and legal ceremony, it strikes me as odd that they would have not obtained documents prior to leaving the country. I mean, in the sense that, it's like, okay, we're going to need these documents back in the States, if we buy a house, if I change my last name, if I, whatever. So, all of those documents would have needed to have been in their possession. Even if they had never had this ceremony with you.


Clint  8:55  
I'm about to explain to you why it happened the way it happened. And I'm going to describe the two people involved. And then it will make total sense.


JP Reynolds  9:08  
Oh, me and my big mouth.


Clint  9:12  
These two people came from privilege. They dabbled in, how do you call it, mind altering substances to the point where on the day of their wedding, I arrived in the appropriate amount of time ahead of time, and the event planner looks at me with that exasperated look on her face, because this is gonna be kind of like a big deal, right? And she said, Oh, brother, she said it's been like this the entire time. Maybe they had been there for like three days including the rehearsal, that sort of thing. She said it's been like this the entire time. This morning, We were pounding on their door. We were pounding on their door, we were calling the room and we couldn't Rouse them from their deep quote unquote, sleep. And that's how the day began. Wow. But the thing is, is that's how their day began, which was really kind of like early afternoon, while everybody else's day had started early. And so the idea that they had to do what they needed to do, because nobody told them, Listen, here's the real deal. And then for them to actually muster up the wherewithal to get it done. Once you met the couple and understood, then it makes sense. And then the father, one of the fathers kind of was in that same mold. And so we're lined up to get ready for the processional. And somebody says, Where's dad? And it turns out that an hour before, all of a sudden, he kind of got this idea in his head that he needed to get in the car and drive and go get something. Now, we knew that he also believed in mind altering substances. And so it was that kind of thing where you wish you were a fly on the wall. Even though I was playing a major role in the festivities, I really was literally a fly on the wall with all this going on. Because then, okay, so the child of this father was really angry, that It's so typical, and this is what he does, and that kind of stuff. And then five minutes before we're supposed to walk down the aisle, I mean, five minutes, including the normal delay from the invitation time, the dad shows up, and he looks like kind of a wild guy. I mean, he his hair is messed up, and he’s whatever. And immediately, there are handlers and entourage, people that are trying to shove a comb through his hair and get him just come on, we got to get down the aisle. Now, having said that, the ceremony was lovely. It was just lovely. And the dad was in the front row, and there were no disturbances. And the couple was smiling and happy. And it all worked out great. But there is a part of me, you know how you have admitted to me that you kind of enjoy reality TV, every now and then?


JP Reynolds  12:23  
Not every now and then. Oh, no. Always?


Clint  12:41  
It was one of those weird experiences where I was in a reality TV show. If you wrote the screenplay, nobody would believe it type of a thing. Right? And I'm in it, I'm sitting right there in it. And I have to tell you, because it didn't affect me directly at all. I mean, whatever was going to happen was going to happen. And they had a bunch of people, and we were going to have a ceremony and so la dee da. So from that standpoint, I wasn't nervous about anything. But it was fascinating to watch all of the interplay of the people before we walked up the aisle. And now you understand the whole thing.


JP Reynolds  13:25  
Right. And you know, I'm smiling because this is what we have missed in 2020. In terms of weddings, because the beauty of the micro wedding is that it strips away so much of what you just described. You know, it's micro wedding. it's the wedding unplugged. It's just getting back to the bare bones basics. And it's all talk about the good old days, vintage. it's like, Ah, yes, where is Oh, just, you know, again, that phrase is on a line of our T shirts. Where's dad? Well, you can get the T shirt in the Where's dad? Where's mom?


Clint  14:19  
Well, when we make that T shirt, I'm going to have a drawing of a silhouette of this dad, with the hair. Just I mean, splayed out. You know, that kind of a thing. That totally makes sense. It also just occurred to me that there are members of our listening audience who listened to me tell that story and they are freaking out. Right? Because they've never been involved with anything even close to that. Everybody has their stories. I mean, everybody has their stories about this went wrong or that went wrong or whatever. I couldn't believe that behavior or whatever it was.


JP Reynolds  15:00  
This is on a much milder scale. But I did a wedding this weekend. And on the drive home, I was reflecting on how I just missed these wackadoo moments. Because it's seldom you get a wackadoo moment with a micro wedding. This wedding I officiated over the weekend had 75 guests. So it was probably one of three large weddings I've done this year, right, and a lot of interesting aspects to the wedding. But the moment that dovetails with what you were describing was, at the venue, it's now like about five minutes before the ceremony. Okay. And I have been with this couple for many months, we've gone through different iterations and variations and dates of this ceremony. And it's like, Oh, thank God, we're finally here. And, it's now five minutes before the ceremony. I’m just standing, waiting for the event planner to line me up. And the father of the groom comes up to me. And he says, When will I be doing the prayer? And this is where I had forgotten. It's those moments where you're minding your own business. And somebody comes up, and asks, What seems to be like, when am I gonna do the? I don't know, when you go to bed tonight, that's when you're gonna be doing the prayer. I said, you'll be doing a blessing at the reception, a blessing before the food is served. No, no, I was told I'm doing two prayers. Aren't you a little grubby brass? It's like, what do you need to do? If you do the first one Right, You really don't have to worry about the second one. And I said, Oh, no, I spoke with and I mentioned a couple of I said, I think you know, you'll be doing, you know, oh, I'm doing two plus two printers. And so then he goes to the event planner, he says, When am I doing the prayer? And I think in that moment, I think, Oh, I am so rusty. I am so rusty. Because I have I just have forgotten these classic moments.


Clint  18:06  
Well, you've given me another famous line that I'm sure we will be bringing back for as long as we do the podcast. The first one was when you told the mom, when she said, I have reservations and you said the only reservation you have is for dinner, please go sit down. Now we have a new one. When do I say the prayer? Tonight before you go to sleep.


JP Reynolds  18:29  
Well, I went to the groom. And the groom, of course, is in an altered state of mind. Alright, the groom would not be able to recognize a prayer, if it was worth like a million dollars. So at that point in time, he said, what did we say? And I said, Well, we agreed that your father would do the grace before meals. Oh, okay. So the son says something to his father. And then I realized he may have been concerned because he was as described by his son, a conservative Christian, that his concern was that there was not going to be any prayers in the ceremony. So I then said to him, I'm going to be saying a prayer in the ceremony. And it was fascinating, because then his reaction was, oh, you're gonna say a prayer. in brackets, you little heathen. It's like, yes. Oh, well, I guess that makes sense. Yeah. Y'all thought it makes sense, because it's my ceremony. Thank you, interloper. Precisely, precisely.


Clint  19:59  
You know what that reminds me of was the story you told me about the uncle. In fact, I told this story yesterday on the Spiritual Cake Podcast, one of my other podcasts where I told the story that you related to we were talking about scripture, and what determines scripture and that kind of stuff. And the uncle that was going to read from the Bible, and the first thing he did was stand up and say, now I'm going to read something from the Good Book. And your response was that, are you sure it's the good book? Is it a better book? Is there another book that's got a kick?


JP Reynolds  20:36  
So it was it was a wonderful experience to remind me what I have missed in 2020. And it just was that reminder of as an officiant in the 30 minutes, 60 minutes before a ceremony, you can never let your guard down. Because no matter how well prepared you are, there will always be someone who will ask you the question that will make you go, What?


Clint  21:21  
First of all, did the father not do the prayer during the ceremony?


JP Reynolds  21:28  
I did one prayer. And he did one prayer. He did his prayer at the reception, so he did grace before meals.


Clint  21:40  
Okay, so it wasn't in the ceremony?


JP Reynolds  21:43  
No, no, no. What I also loved in the ceremony was the mother of the bride for the reading. And she prefaced the reading, sly little thing that she was, by telling all of us why it was her favorite reading. And I'm listening to her. Like, sweetheart, this is not about you. Okay? This is not America's Got Talent. Right, called you up to your favorite reading. This reading is all about these two dopes. Oh, my God, give me that piece of paper.


Clint 22:31  
That reminds me of when I was a little girl. Yeah.


JP Reynolds  22:35  
Exactly. It's like, this is my favorite reading. Because I just love it. It's like, Ah, this is not a book report.


Clint  22:48  
And then you can't help but think about the couple. And when I leave here, I'm releasing you into the care of these people.


JP Reynolds  22:57  
Okay, there was one other moment that I love. And again, all of this, it's all so wonderfully sweet. It's so wonderfully wackadoo. I’ve just been rusty and I forgotten this Madcap year of 2020. And so Okay, so the couple there, it's after the ceremony, Take the groom aside, I said, Look, I just want to let you know, I've got the license, it's signed, taking with me, I'll mail it back to the county. What I do is I mail the couple a letter. And in that letter, I confirm that I mailed back the license to the county, I mailed them the copy of their license, I give them information on how to order a certified copy of their marriage certificate. And I also include the name of the website for the name change. So it's kind of a way for me to bring closure to our wedding relationship. So I just quickly say all of this to them and I said, Have a great night. Just enjoy every moment of tonight. It's glorious. And I then start to walk away.
And I'm talking to somebody and then suddenly, at least a good minute, 90 seconds later, feel a tap on my shoulder. It's the groom. I said, Hey, man. I just got a question. When am I gonna get it?
Okay. I think maybe you know me.


Clint  25:03  
Not only that, but I just imagine all of our listeners are right on the edge of their seat. Oh my gosh, they're trembling.


JP Reynolds  25:09  
Oh, so many ways I can answer this question. I said, you’ll get what? He says, Well, you said you're gonna write me a letter. And the way he said, you're gonna write me a letter. It was like, so sweet because it's like, Okay, well, first of all, it's a form letter. Number two, I'm not using a fountain pen.


Clint  25:48  
quill.


JP Reynolds  25:50  
Number three, it's not a dear john letter that I'm writing to you. It’s a letter to you And you see that woman in the white dress? It’s a letter to the two of you. All this is what's going through my mind. Then the other thing is, I don't know when the mailman is going to deliver it. I don't know when is going to be a knock at your door. I said, Well, I'm gonna put it in the mail on Monday. So maybe Wednesday. Thursday.
Oh, okay. Thank you.


Clint  26:39  
If we make our T shirts, and at the top is like our logo, wedding ceremony podcast, and then the quote, when am I gonna get it? That's a top seller right there. When am I gonna get it?


JP Reynolds  26:56  
Oh, my God, am I gonna get it? It was so sweet.


Clint  27:02  
So that's where I also would direct him to the lady in the white dress. You should ask her.


JP Reynolds  27:12  
Well, because you know, what you forget is in the moment, no matter how present you are, no matter how on top of things you are. For an officiant, there's so much racing through our heads. You know, there's so much. And when a question is phrased in an unexpected manner. It it just throws you off.


Clint  27:39  
Well plus JP, to be fair, you have been sprinkled with magic dust. Because you attract these people. I don't know what it is. But they all end up coming up to you. You have that special something?


JP  27:55  
Thank you.


Clint  27:56  
Yes, no, no, believe me. We are all thanking you.
All right. That's it, JP. That's all I can handle for right now.


JP Reynolds  28:06  
Amen.


Clint  28:07  
Remember everybody, I know that you're gonna want to go back through the archive of our episodes, and you're gonna find a lot of the things that we refer to that have happened in the past, because you can go to our website, it's weddingceremonypodcast.com and all of the episodes are right there on the landing page. They're all listed chronologically, which means the most recent one is at the top. You can also find us in the apple podcast store and any app that accesses that library and just search for wedding ceremony podcast and then click the subscribe button. And every time we post a new episode, it'll automatically come into your podcast world. Remember that JP is an accomplished author. His books are in the Amazon store and in the Kindle store in Amazon. For communications coaching, I recommend thebusinessofconfidenc.com. His wedding website is JPRweddings.com. Mine is ReverendClint.com or ClintHufft.com For all the things that I do. We also invite you to click the email us button on wedding ceremony podcast calm and then let us know your stories or tell us something fascinating and Ron from down under you sent me something that I cannot wait to share with JP and we and of course with everybody else that's a part of our podcast. We once again want to thank the incredible musicians that play our theme music that a couple players da ca p o players.com. That's it for this episode of the wedding ceremony podcast. This is Clint and on behalf of JP We will see you next time.

#290
Clint  0:01  
Hey everybody, welcome to the wedding ceremony podcast, we talk about anything and everything that has to do with wedding ceremonies. This is episode number 290. recorded on Tuesday, October the 13th 2020. My name is Clint Hufft. And with me is a gentleman that I have no idea what he's about to say the one and only J P. Reynolds.


JP Reynolds  0:22  
And nor does he know.


Clint  0:31  
JP is an accomplished author. His books are in the Amazon store. And in the Kindle store in Amazon. He is a communications expert. That website is the businessofconfidence.com. His wedding website is JPRweddings.com. Mine is ReverendClint.com, or ClintHufft.com for all the things that I do. JP, here's a little something that just occurred to me this morning. You know, the whole idea of doing zoom weddings. I was listening to a podcast and listen to a lot of them. And they were talking about zoom. And they said that, and I've always believed this, that if you give people a structure, they're going to explore all the nooks and crannies of that structure to see how they can kind of morph or get the most out of it. Not everybody will do that. I'm just gonna like, what is it? Okay, great, that's fine. But the concept of zoom wedding, and people show up, they join the zoom wedding on time, because they think that's when the ceremony is going to begin. But typically, you and I both know that sometimes the ceremony doesn't start for like a half hour after the invitation time. And it's very awkward in a zoom setting, because you can't kind of wander over and get a cocktail or schmooze with people that you know, or, whatever it is, unless it's like a breakout room, because everybody's always right there. And I thought, wouldn't it be nice if they would do slideshows? What do they call it?


JP 2:09  
Slideshow?


Clint  2:10  
Yeah, I know, there's another name for it. It's kind of fancy. It's some kind of fancy name anyway, of the couple, them as kids, and then they grow up and then the shows the meeting and then them together and leading up to the wedding day. And it's a whatever they call that. No, I just can't think of it. Anyway, I thought, would it be great if you had a zoom wedding, and when people joined, that was running on a loop, where it was something that would be interesting, because you and I both know what it's like to walk into a room. You don't really know anybody, but they have one of those slide presentations going. That gives you something that you can walk over and enjoy. So I thought when people join the zoom meeting for a wedding. If that was running, would that be interesting?


JP Reynolds  2:57  
Right? Okay, Yes, go ahead.


Clint  3:01  
I sorry, you're gonna launch on it. And I want you to do that. Because I do have something else that I thought of this morning. But go ahead.


JP Reynolds  3:08  
Is the other from the morning? Why do we even bother? Let me go get it. This is the other thought you had this morning, God help us, related to what you just said about Clint, or will it take us on a different track?


Clint 3:27  
No, it's exactly the same thing. Just another nuance to it. You want to hear it?


JP Reynolds  3:32  
Please nuance please. Okay, here we go. And then I will speak.


Clint  3:36  
Okay. Somebody brought up the idea this morning on the podcast of have a Google Doc. So I started to think about the guestbook. And I thought what if, when people signed in, because they're gonna watch the wedding ceremony, what if, and they signed into a Google Doc, so that there was some kind of a, I know, it's digital  recognition of Best wishes and that sort of thing, all in one place, that the couple could then print out and that would be their guestbook. Does that make sense? 


JP
Preeminently. 


Clint
I don't even know what that word means.


JP Reynolds  4:12  
Okay, well, it means that you're cooking. You're cooking on all cylinders, guy.


Clint  4:19  
That's a preeminently me.


JP Reynolds  4:20  
I will.


Clint  4:25  
The t-shirts will say, “Are you cooking on all cylinders? Or are you preeminent?”.


JP Reynolds  4:29  
Alright, so first of all, let me address your second point, which already exists for zoom. funerals. Oh, okay. So when you go to a wake that is being live streamed or a funeral that's being live streamed. There are already websites, apps, whatever, that allow the family Friends to sign that virtual book because typically, when you go to a funeral home, you do have a much like the wedding, a guest book, although you're not in that particular book necessarily leaving messages like, you know, best of luck, homeboy.


Clint  5:24  
Although you want to.


JP Reynolds  5:26  
Send me winning lottery ticket numbers. Anyway, it already exists. And I'm virtually certain that there's also applications for weddings. Right. But, all of this gets me excited, because you've touched on something that I feel so strongly about. And let me also preface this by saying that I did a wedding this past Saturday. For a couple who were supposed to get married, originally the wedding was supposed to be in May, then they transferred it to Saturday, October 10. When they initially transferred the wedding to October 10, I already had a book of wedding on the books for October 10. So I had to drop out of their wedding. Then the October 10 couple eventually moved their wedding to next year. And that freed me up for this micro wedding this past Saturday, and it went from being held at a lovely, exclusive venue to the backyard of a neighbor. However, backyard of the neighbor was even more beautiful than the exclusive venue. Oh, it was like, I don't want to go home. Okay. However, the reason why I'm sharing this is because many of their friends and family were scattered about the United States, particularly on the East Coast, where they had with a groom was from and they enlisted the aid of a friend, who also happened to work in the world of AV and sound. So he had professional experience. And he live zoomed the ceremony using an iPad. However, prior to the start of the ceremony, which you're correct, it was supposed to start at four, and there's no reason why anything should start at four exactly at four. So it started like at 4:10, 4:15, or whatever. But about five minutes to four, This fella simply began zooming and he simply walked around the backyard and gave people a sense of the view and the sense of the space and wandered over and spent some time with the bridesmaids and went over to another little area where some people were having a glass of champagne. So to your point, this couple enlisted the aid of somebody who knew what they were doing with minimal technology and consciously made the decision that prior to the start of the ceremony, They were going to offer some ambience for everybody who was going to be present via zoom.


Clint  9:31  
I love that. That is such a personal thing.


JP Reynolds  9:33  
Yes. And here's the thing. Okay, I have talked about this book before I'm going to talk about it. Now I'm going to continue to talk about it because everybody who is in the wedding and event industry must read this book. It is entitled, “The Art of gathering”. It's by a woman named Priya Parker. Okay, I bow before Priya Parker. Okay, she is not in the wedding industry, she's not even in the event industry, I think her primary circle of work is actually negotiation. And a fascinating woman. The purpose of this book, it's entirely art of gathering. And her whole thesis is that whenever we gather, for whatever the reason, be it in a conference room, at a dinner table, at a funeral or a wedding, whatever the celebration may be, whatever the observance may be, to gather, mindfully and purposefully. And that gathering, and the reason one of the reasons why I love her work is because she couches it in terms of communication Gathering, is the forum, is the act of communicating. And in order to make value and sense out of that act of gathering, You have to do it with purpose, with intention. And it really speaks to the point that you're making, this thought that you had this morning, and you're absolutely right. To many people, when they're thinking about, oh, let's assume the ceremony or thinking, Okay, let's just do a live feed. Like it's a TV show, like, ou turn on the news, and as a reporter, live from City Hall. And it's just you, it just plays out? Well, they're saying that what you're saying and what she would be saying and what I'm saying, and so we're now a chorus, okay, is that you need to be as mindful in how you create the zoom experience as you would if it was a totally in real time event. And so that means yes, the celebration begins at four, and you have at four o'clock, a slideshow, because you know how often times you'll go to a wedding and on the guestbook table will be photos of the grandparents and the parents of their wedding their wedding photos, right? Well, that can be in a slideshow, you can have an enhanced music playlist, right? There's a lot of creativity and going forward, it’s interesting, I had a couple reach out to me over the weekend who are getting married next July. And they're planning like a pre COVID wedding: 180 guests, the venue, etc, etc. And I just was thinking, wow, next July. next July. What in God's good name will next July look like? But it's like, great, All right, let's Full speed ahead, let's plan. But I maintain, going forward, We as a society and as a world are not automatically simply going to go back full on to the past. And we do not know how celebration
will eventually evolve based on the experience of the pandemic. And zoom is going to remain in whatever form to whatever degree. It's not simply one day, it's like, wow, whether we're zoom, there's no zoom it away. That whole notion of live streaming, that whole notion of people being a part of your celebration, who were in some corner of the world, that I have no doubt will remain and therefore as you Plan your wedding, People will need to have more morning thoughts similar to yours, Clint.


Clint  15:10  
Well, thank you, JP. First of all, I checked that book out of the library, the very same day that you told us about it. I don't know how many episodes ago, “the art of gathering”, I found it, because I am a big devotee of the library system. And I'm very lucky where I live in here in Los Angeles that I can access the Los Angeles City Library System, and also the Los Angeles County Library System. And it is amazing. I found that book and I said, if it's that important to JP, then I'm going to look at this book. And I'll be honest with you, I didn't have time to actually read the whole book. However, I thought, okay, there's a concept here. And I looked at the overall concept, and I locked into it immediately. And I agreed 100%, and I can understand why it resonated with you. Because to go with any kind of gathering, and she talked about corporate gathering and meetings and everything, she talked about everything. And she was right on the money, right on the money. Yeah. And so it makes me in regards to the relevance of a slideshow, and but you took it to another level. I needed to address that in just one second. The idea of if you've got photos of your grandparent’s wedding, somewhere on a table somewhere where guests can see it, then you're absolutely right. If you're going to tell that story, then go ahead and include it in the slideshow that precedes the wedding. Because it really is that kind of, and here's how we got to this point, that long thread of both the lives of the of the two people getting married. And now we get back to the idea that not every wedding has the photos of the grandparents. Would you agree with that?


JP Reynolds  17:04  
Oh, yeah, yeah, I'm not saying that you even necessarily have to track the photos on the table. I'm saying that prior to the ceremony, you're creating a special, quote package that will be played and seen just by your zoom guests.


Clint  17:25  
Right. And you know, how you say that the ceremony kind of sets the tone for the rest of the day?


JP  17:30  
Absolutely.


Clint  17:31  
Yeah, this is an opportunity to set the tone for the ceremony. And here's where I was going with this. I tell couples that a wedding ceremony is only three basic things. It's the commitments obviously, between the two people, you want to get married, so say that, and then it's who they are as individuals, which I tell every couple, I think that's the most important part of the ceremony, is who you are. Because I mean, let's face it, that's who you're marrying, that's who you fell in love with. But that's also who you're offering to this other person is who you are. So the ceremony should be honest and credible to that. It should be authentic to that, who the two of you are as individuals. And the third thing is whatever you think your marriage is going to be moving forward. Which brings me to some of the rituals that we include that honor the families, whether you honor, the heritage, or your parents with a flower or whatever it is, that's all kind of built into the ceremony, because it's important to you, and it's going to be part of your marriage moving forward. So that what triggered that thought was the idea that the grandparents are important. And I think it's a cultural thing. That's what I'm just guessing, based on my experience, and what I've seen is that there are some cultures who really resonate with the heritage and showing pictures of the grandparents and I've been to people's houses, and they think that's really important. And so they have pictures of their grandparents in their house. And, that sort of thing. And I know, this all ties in to the art of gathering, where as officiants, when we are working with couples, to be sensitive and open to what's important to them. And I realize it's difficult if you're doing 10 ceremonies a day, and you may not have an opportunity to really connect and find out what's important to them as individuals, they just want to get married and you have to kind of knock that thing out. But if if we can take the time and energy to find out those specifics. It does. I mean, obviously every ceremony being different, makes it a little bit more exciting for us, as opposed to just a wham bam, Thank you, ma'am. Then I love that exploration and I like the idea that the art of gathering speaks to that no matter what you're doing, even the pre, What do you call it the meetings that we have with the couple? What's the purpose of the meeting? And how do we go about it? And how do we honor the purpose of the meeting? And every single interaction no matter what it is, if it's a phone call, or a zoom meeting, or a Skype or FaceTime, or in person, whatever it is. I guess what I'm saying is I'm really endorsing the book that you've endorsed, to say the theme of it was completely and is completely and will be completely relevant. So there you go.


JP Reynolds  20:30  
Thank you. Thank you, I am I endorse you endorsing me?


Clint  20:37  
You know, I just realized that you deserve an endorsement for endorsing me.
And so on. Alright, infinity.


JP Reynolds  20:50  
Let me just say, in the spirit of endorsement, that I offered the whole grandparent thing as just an example. I think what we're talking about here is, to put it in more visual terms is here in the States, and I'm going to presume, elsewhere around the world, that when you have broadcast on television broadcasts of an award show, particularly high profile Oscars, in England, the BAFTA, whatever it may be, in the realm of entertainment, it is almost now expected that prior to the broadcast of the show, will be the quote, pre show, where it’s either celebrities being interviewed on the red carpet or background on people who are going to be honored or the movies, plays or whatever, that's going to be honored. There's always that sense of the pre show. And so what I just want to clarify and highlight that what I was playing up, and when I'm becoming more aware of is the thought that you had this morning is that if you are going to have a micro wedding, and it is going to be live streamed, that now, you want to give consideration not only to the experience of the people physically present at your micro wedding, you want to give consideration to the people who will be present via Livestream. And that's where a lot of wonderful creativity can go into the creating of a, quote, pre ceremony show that last anywhere from five to 10 to 15, 20 minutes. All for the purpose, as you said, of creating energy, spirit, tone, atmosphere.


Clint  23:26  
Well, there you go. And the other thing, because we've run out of time, but I really would just want to touch on this is I love the innovation and the creativity of people who are looking to expand the capabilities of those platforms like zoom, and Microsoft and Facebook and Google meeting, whatever they've got. And I saw, I don't know where I saw it. But a teacher was talking about how a bunch of teachers who have to use zoom now to reach their students, are requesting adaptations to the zoom platform, so that they can better serve their students. And there's a number of things that teachers have said, Can you please incorporate this? Can you please add on to that, that the people at zoom are working feverishly to add those adaptations, and I'm thinking in regards to what we do, and where zoom comes into play. Just the simple thing that that guy walked around to give a better experience. And then the idea of a virtual guestbook and, and so on and so on and so on. It's very exciting for us. What a wonderful marvelous time we live in.


JP Reynolds  24:41  
Absolutely. And the one thing I forgot, and I know that you said that we're at the end so and I respect and obey you. I would say that there's also new demands placed upon the officiant because if I know that the ceremony is being live streamed, I make it a point Now, at least a few times in the ceremony to speak to or reference, the family and friends who are with us via Livestream.


Clint  25:13  
Absolutely.


JP Reynolds  25:15  
And that is all again, it's part of the the evolution of ceremony. So thank you for having had a wonderful morning. And I wish you a week of thoughtful, insightful, provoking mornings this week, Clint.


Clint  25:39  
Are you endorsing me?


JP Reynolds  25:43  
I’m endorsing, I'm also endorsing the idea that it's time to cut it off.


Clint  25:50  
And that's another of the great features that we have here at the wedding ceremony podcast. Listen, everybody, we've been getting emails and we ran out of time this time, but I want to make sure I acknowledge everybody that reaches out to us. And so next episode, we will definitely kind of acknowledge all the people that took the time to go to our website, weddingceremonypodcast.com, click on the email us button and offered some suggestions. One person just said thank you for everything. So that's a way that you can contact us and give us some ideas or tell us a story or whatever is relevant to you. And that is also where you can listen to our episodes. They are on that website weddingceremonypodcast.com, they're all archived chronologically, so that means the most recent one is at the top. You can also listen to us in every podcast app that accesses the Apple Store. And that way you can subscribe to our podcast, which is great because then every time we post a new episode, it'll automatically come into your podcast world. And if you don't mind leave us a review. Because that's another way that people find us discover our content and and everything that we do. Remember the JP’S books are in the Amazon store and the Kindle store in Amazon. For communications coaching thebusinessofconfidence.com is that website. His wedding website is JPRweddings.com. Mine is ReverendClint.com or ClintHufft.com For all the things that I do, Thank you again to the incredible musicians that play our theme music, The DaCaPo players, dacapoplayers.com. That's it for this episode of the wedding ceremony podcast. This is Clint and I'll be half a JP We will see you next time.

#289
Clint  0:00  
Hey everybody, welcome to the wedding ceremony podcast. We talk about anything and everything that has to do with wedding ceremonies. This is episode number 289, recorded on Tuesday, October the sixth 2020. My name is Clint Hufft. And with me is a gentleman that just told me he's got a little tidbit. JP Reynolds.


JP Reynolds  0:22  
All right, I'm gone. That's it. Have a nice podcast.


Clint  0:31  
I didn't expect it to be that funny. Oh.


JP Reynolds  0:36  
I could say something wrong. I know.


Clint  0:44  
JP is an accomplished author. His books are in the Amazon store and in the Kindle store in Amazon. He's a communications expert. Thebusinessofconfidence.com is that website.His wedding website is JPRweddings.com. Mine is ReverendClint.com or ClintHufft.com. For all the things that I do. JP, you promised me a tidbit.


JP Reynolds  1:11  
Okay, so a couple of weeks ago, I had friends of mine in New York City call and ask if I was able to do a wedding via zoom. And New York City accepts zoom weddings. And they have a protocol and all that. So we were talking about options for their wedding. They had been together, like, you know, since you know, the beginning of time, so there is no, there's no rush on this wedding. It's you know, it's like really now you want to go on zoom. Be that as it may. So we we talked and all that sort of thing. And we came to know, they they've not made a decision as to how they want to proceed whether to wait until I get back to New York, or if they come out here with zoom or whatever. But the point is, having had that conversation about a zoom wedding, a few days later, I came across an article that said, and you will be able to find this article on my Facebook page at JP or weddings. And it's posted about a week ago. The article told the story of how the very first on line wedding was 144 years ago.


Clint  2:53  
How is that possible? Was it like a telegraph thing?


JP Reynolds  2:56  
Yes. Yes, 144 years ago, there was a couple in Arizona who wanted to get married. The bride was from San Diego. And there was no there's nobody to marry, do the wedding. There's no one to marry them. There was no justice of the peace. There was no minister in the town that they lived in whatever. And so they telegraphed back to San Diego to her pastor. And it was arranged for them to get married online. And that's what the telegraph was called online, via via telegraph. It is so cool. Isn't that fascinating?


Clint  3:49  
First of all, I love the internet. All this information is just available at our fingertips. I think it's fantastic. The thing that jumped into my head, I don't know if you felt this when you first read that. But the first thing that went in my head is it's all Morse code. So you're communicating in a completely different language. Does that make sense? Yeah. And, well, I don't know, all of a sudden I felt like who's who takes that responsibility. And how does this work? And is there a real?


Unknown Speaker  4:24  
Are you going into Clint mode here?


Unknown Speaker  4:26  
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.


JP Reynolds  4:29  
Apparently the witnesses were fellow telegraph operators along the line.


Clint  4:42  
So you know, that make sense. That makes total sense to me.


JP Reynolds  4:46  
Yeah. And, uh, as the story goes on, a one of the telegraph operators telegraph. The couple saying that there was a band in San Diego that was serenade. Then at the same time,


Clint  5:03  
that's like closed captioning. You know? Yeah. Yeah. Funny. That's funny. That is so cool. Yeah. Well, okay, getting back to your zoom thing, you can do a zoom wedding, even if you're not in the state. And then, but Okay, so wait, I'm just kind of process.


JP Reynolds  5:21  
So that's the whole purpose of zoom.


Clint  5:23  
Well, but then in regards to the marriage license…


JP Reynolds  5:27  
Well, here's the thing. I, this couple, like many couples had only vague understandings of what the parameters were right, though, one of the things I gave them for their homework was it's like, Okay, you've got it, you got to give me some solid information here on what I need to do. So I can't I can't answer your questions at this time, Clint. And I will not be entertaining questions from the press corps.


Clint  6:01  
Is that the end of this?


JP Reynolds  6:04  
I know how you go Clint.


Clint  6:07  
I know.


JP Reynolds  6:09  
I will tell you, I will give you one little bit. All right. All right. Another tidbit. Um, they already have their license issued by New York State. And what I find fascinating is for the New York license, the officiant has to put down and not only the town or the city and the county. They have to record at what time was the ceremony?
Little glint in your eye.




Clint  6:55  
Yay. Oh, yes. Absolutely. Oh, my gosh, I love this. You know, what's interesting about that is why not that long ago. Remember, when I told you that I was going to go do the wedding? Or I did the wedding at that big house that was so big it felt like a castle.
Okay, so the idea of putting a time stamp on the marriage license for the New York State is interesting, because I just experienced something similar to that. Remember, when I told you about the elopement that I did, and it was at that big fancy house that felt like a castle? Remember that? Okay, so the, obviously these people are in the upper demographic, perhaps the 1%, if you will. And so here's what was fascinating about this. When I walked in, it's just their house. So it's a big house and you walk in, and then there's the living room straight ahead of you. And then the windows that just go right back direct out into the backyard. And to my left is where the kitchen was, and I see them sitting on some couches with some people in suits that look to me, okay, there's something legal going on here. And the groom says, Oh, hi, I've never met them, right. And so the groom says, Oh, hi. Up until that point, I've been dealing with it with an assistant. So hi. Hi, I'm so and so. And I'm so so great. And I said, What's going on? And he says, oh, we're finalizing the prenup. And he laughs and the people that were there, I saw a big stack of paper, a couple of those. And I'm thinking, Oh, this is legit. This is for real. And the people that looked up were not laughing. They had that serious face of we're trying to get something really serious done here. And I thought, well, I'm in no hurry, that's fine. And then I walk outside and the professional that was also there, said, The prenup. And I said I thought that prenups had to be finalized, like 48 hours in advance. And he said, I thought it was two weeks. And I said I thought you had to have lead time so that it couldn't be contested as a shotgun wedding. You know what I mean? Like, everything had to be taken care of. And all the T's had to be crossed and the i's and then we looked at each other and said, that's what lawyers are for. And so it was fascinating that they completed the prenup. And then we went and did the marriage license and the ceremony. And then here's what made it really interesting is the lawyer said, Would you sign a document that says that you pronounced them husband and wife at the specific time that you did it, so that we can prove legally that the prenup was signed prior to the signing of the license and the legality of the wedding? And I said, Sure. And then I thought, I'm gonna walk away from this. And who knows what's going to happen? If push comes to shove. Now, they had been together for a long time, and I didn't get any vibe about that kind of a thing. Everybody seemed to be really happy and in love and all that stuff. But that was the first time I had ever walked in on that kind of a scenario. And then to have the follow up of, Will you please. And sure enough, by the time I got home, in my email, there was a please sign this. I don't know what you call it an affidavit or whatever it is, to say that, here's the timing of this. And he even said, on the customer copy of the marriage license, he said, Would you mind putting down the time that you pronounced them? And I said, Sure, that'd be fine. And I wrote it in at the bottom, on the customer copy of the marriage license. So I didn't feel ever like I was putting myself and I'm kind of ignorant on this. And it'll be interesting to hear the feedback that we get from this episode. I didn't feel like I was in danger. You know how we say that if you don't have a marriage license, you can't use marriage language. It has become a commitment ceremony, or else you could be complicit in fraud, and so I didn't ever feel it was that kind of a danger in this scenario, but it was the first time I had ever been through anything like that. Where the prenup was happening at the very last second.


JP Reynolds  11:43  
Yeah, but that doesn't surprise me. Really, I had not heard about you know, 48 hours or two weeks. I think a prenup is just that it's a legal agreement made before people enter into the bonds of marriage. And it's interesting though, I officiated a couple's wedding where I wasn't sure if I was going to be able to because there was some problem with the the groom's divorce, oh, and throughout the planning of the wedding, because the voices coming through the voices coming through this is not divorced. And his divorce was not finalized until the day before his wedding.


Clint  12:50  
I always figure that that's what the clerk recorder or any government entity that issues the marriage license contract. I always figured that's their problem. That if a couple shows up with a marriage license, then whatever they had to go through in order to get it I can now proceed.


JP Reynolds  13:10  
no see they weren't able to see that. That's funny. Where we feel most he wasn't able to get a marriage license until he was divorced.


Clint  13:24  
I know. That's my point. Yeah. My point is that they if they have a marriage license, then they've already had to jump over some hurdles to get it including proof showing the divorce paper, the clerk or admitting the divorce.
The concept of, I think I may have talked about this in past episodes, because there's only 288 of them. When I say to couples that you have to make it as personal as you can and then I told you the story that you just can't stand of the real estate couple that invited.


JP Reynolds  14:01  
Thank you. This is the monthly recounting of the story. Yes. Okay, stark raving mad.


Clint  14:07  
Okay, what led me to the moment in the meeting at Starbucks where I said, What would you do if nobody else was there? Yeah. And then he confessed. I said, Well, that's the intimacy that I want. That between the two of you. What led up to that was a long time ago, I met this wonderful couple, and I forget exactly, I think she did some premarital counseling or something like that. Anyway, we finally got together face to face and had a cup of coffee or whatever hot chocolate, whatever I was drinking. And they told me the story of them getting married. They met, they were both married to other people. And they were both unhappy in their marriages. And they had come to an agreement with their respective spouses that it's time for us to get a divorce. And then they meet each other and they fall in love, right. But they know they can't get legally married until the divorces are final. And they have the divorce papers to get the marriage license. But what they did is they knew they were committed to each other, they knew this and, and just so you know, 20 years later, they're still married. And they seem to be doing great. But what they did was they went to the beach, and they held hands. And they actually said vows to each other, just the two of them and then gave each other rings. And they said, it was a magical experience, because of the intimacy and the fact that it was only the two of them. And
they said that doing it that way was a magical experience, because it was only the two of them. And the power of what they were promising to each other, what they were committing to, without any other distractions, or finalities was so gratifying that while they were telling the story, I was drawn in to the power of the moment. And that's the moment where I said, this is going to be a thing that I am going to have to communicate to my couples. So they understand the options they have in terms of in the best ability replicating that moment for the two of them.


JP Reynolds  16:23  
Well, interestingly enough, Clint, I mean, I think what you're describing is what is being captured and experienced today with the micro weddings.


Clint  16:33  
Absolutely. Absolutely. And, you and I have experienced over the years before we were forced into micro weddings. Over the years, we've had the joy of those really small weddings, the elopements people coming from anywhere in the world to get married here.


JP Reynolds  16:52  
Well, I have to say, I was not always or readily a fan of elopements. And I have, I felt that it was important for this to take place within the context of what I would call the community of family and friends. And so I've had the journey of progression in my feelings towards elopements. And now I am madly in love with with the micro wedding.


Clint  17:39  
A friend of ours, this couple that our kids are approximately the same age and we've socially interacted a lot. In fact, the mom of this family is one of my wife's best friends. And they would always entertain at their house and have barbecues in the backyard and things like that. I don't know what the occasion was, but we went over there. Obviously, this is more than 10 years ago, Well, it's obvious to me, and they out of the clear blue, they said, everybody, thanks for coming. I don't remember them ever asking for everybody's attention. At the same time, it was just kind of like a party and you just talk to wherever you want to but they said just wanted to let you know that today we got married. We went to the clerk recorders office and they did a little ceremony there and now we're married. It caught me. It's like everybody was like, we didn't know what to feel. I mean, like, Yeah, well, congratulations. But I wasn't there. You know what I mean? Right? It was that thing of back and forth that thing. But being an officiant I've been on the other side of that, where I can understand why a couple makes that choice. And, it's a fascinating thing, the emotions that people feel.


JP Reynolds  18:53  
Absolutely.


Clint  18:56  
But I think that those intimate ceremonies are fantastic. Yeah.


JP Reynolds  19:03  
Well, I just end with dot, dot, dot. Dash, dash, dash. Dot, dot, dot.


Clint  19:13  
I think that's SOS. What are you trying to say? What do you mean by that?


JP  19:26  
Oh,


Clint  19:28  
oh, all right. Well, there you go, everybody. That's the way this works. You know, we talk to you about what has just recently happened to us or things that happened in the past because we do weddings. We just keep doing weddings. And that's just the way this works. And you know what, you can be involved in the conversation. All you have to do is go to our website, weddingceremonypodcast.com and click on the email us button. Tell us a story. Bring something to our attention. And by the way, Cantor Marc, we've received your latest suggestion and we will be dealing with that in a future episode. So thank you. If you really want to enjoy the podcast effortlessly, then subscribe to it. You can find us in stitcher and in the Apple Store, click on the subscribe button. Every time we post a new episode, it'll automatically come into your world. And if you're there and you really enjoy the podcast and leave us a review, and that's another way people can discover us. All of the episodes are also archived on the website so you have two ways that you can find it. They are chronological on our website weddingceremonypodcast.com. The most recent one is at the top. Remember that JP’S books are in the Amazon store and in the Kindle store in Amazon. For communications coaching, thebusinessofconfidence.com is that website is wedding website is JPRweddings.com mine is ReverendClin.com, or ClintHufft.com for all the things that I do. Once again, we thank the incredible musicians that play our theme music, The DaCaPo players dacapoplayers.com. That's it for this episode of the wedding ceremony podcast. This is Clint and on behalf of JP We will see you next time.

#288
Clint  0:00  
Hey everybody, welcome to the wedding ceremony podcast, we talk about anything and everything that has to do with wedding ceremonies. This is episode number 288, recorded on Tuesday, September the 29th 2020. My name is Clint Hufft. And with me is a gentleman that just gave me the okay to kind of say whatever I want to, the one and only JP Reynolds.


JP Reynolds  0:24  
Okay, something got lost in translation.


Clint  0:32  
That's the way I heard it. JP is an accomplished author. His books are in the Amazon store and in the Kindle store in Amazon. He is a communications expert, the business of confidence calm is that website, his wedding website is J p. r. weddings.com. Mine is Reverend clip calm, or Clint hufft HU FFT calm for all the things that I do. jp, I did a wedding, it was an elopement recently, and it was at a really nice house, I mean, the kind of house that you don't, it's hard to believe this kind of house even exists, you know, when you when you you're in the neighborhood, and you look and and there's just huge, like hedges. And then on the other side of those hedges, or bushes or whatever, there, you can see the top of a huge house. It's that kind of a neighborhood where you just don't think that this stuff really exists. And then all of a sudden, you're driving down the street, because you know, you're gonna go marry somebody. And then it's the kind of deal where when you walk up the driveway, you feel like you're going to a castle, it was that kind of a house, huh. And but that's not the point. So that lends to the point. So obviously, the people that live there? Well, they they have a certain socio economic status. So the key moment for me, and I didn't even think about this until this actually happened. And this has been my policy for decades. I knew somebody one of the professionals that was there. And they said, let's take a picture, because it is the backyard, looks out over the city, and has one of those infinity pools. And then there's a lower level that has a tennis court that also has a basketball court, you know, it's that kind of a deal. They got everything there. Right? And the person said, let's take a photo. And I said, No, I said, I don't do that. I said, I don't want to have anybody who's here to worry ever, that I might be posting something where they don't want it. Or they don't want you don't I mean, I would think that at that level of the position that they're in, they're constantly worried about, you know, Papa Razzi, or, I mean, I have done weddings, where they collect all the cell phones, at the sign in desk, I've done those weddings. But the fact that I said that out loud, actually. And to me, it was all set, always second nature, I never take a photo of anybody with anything anywhere, unless I'm going to, unless there's something in the setup that I'll put on my Instagram is like, oh, take a look at this. And, you know, either that's really good, or that could go bad. But I never try. I try to make sure that when I take a photo, nobody knows where I am. And, and so in this particular case, the other person was hoping that the photo would showcase, you know, where we were and all that. And I said, know, exactly the opposite. I don't want anybody to know. And I want the people that we're here to serve, to have that. That sense of security, that we are, what is it discretion? Is something else is another word that do we're discriminating? Or anyway, they can trust us? that we're not going to, you know,


JP Reynolds  3:55  
right? If you ever run out, I think that's, you know, I give you a virtual fist bump on that. I think that's spot on.


Clint  4:08  
Well, it's kind of by necessity. I mean, I don't just me, I would love to have a photo of that place. Because it was so cool. But a long time ago, I observed what celebrities go through. Now this particular person wasn't like a celebrity, like movies and television, that kind of a thing, right? A different a different position. But I watch what they go through and I watch how I understand why they get a little freaked out and they may not want to pose with a selfie or back in the day sign an autograph or whatever. Because this crazy people, right? And so they're constantly have to worry about their safety and you hear stories all the time. And so I just thought, Okay, well from now on. I'm not going to be that at all. In fact, I'm going to be the opposite of that. I'm going to be the first one They can trust to just whatever happens here stays here. type of deal.


JP Reynolds  5:05  
Yeah,


Clint  5:06  
so I would like to say that I did it out of you know, that it was some sort of my morals and ethics and that sort of thing, which is a little bit part of that. But but it also was something that could get in the way of business. You know, I like these type of clients, and I want to have the reputation of Don't worry, you can trust him. You know, there's a word that explains that. I forget what it is. They're


JP Reynolds  5:27  
just screaming.


Unknown Speaker  5:29  
There you go. Okay. Yes. Let's go with that.


JP Reynolds  5:33  
No, that's one of the words that I would think to use to describe you. I really have other words, also, but discrete would be one of them.


Unknown Speaker  5:44  
I can't think of anything that you and I have ever discussed, or


Clint  5:49  
that would lead you to think that I don't even know what I mean. What I'm doing now is remembering all the networking things that we've attended together, and I still can't think of anything that would make you think I was discreet.


JP Reynolds  6:03  
Right. Okay. Well, we'll take this offline.


Clint  6:08  
I did a, I did a another ceremony a couple days ago. And they did the spreading of the of the chairs the way you described it with your wedding a few weeks


JP Reynolds  6:18  
ago. Really cool. And well, I did an elopement. Also. I on Friday. And when I say elopement, it was kind of that it was the most micro of micro weddings, because it was the couple of the bride's parents, and the groom's mother, and a photographer.


Unknown Speaker  6:48  
And


JP Reynolds  6:51  
I realized, by the time the ceremony was over, that I am definitely rusty. And just rusty. Rusty, really? Oh, yeah. Oh, I'm very rusty. And I'll tell you what. So I had zoomed with a couple. And, you know, zooming with couples now, rather than meeting with them in person is very convenient. It's great. But really, all the couples on the zoom meeting pretty much look the same. They they look like they've all rolled out of bed. Everybody's in the sweatshirt. And sometimes they look like it's a hostage video, right? The way they're staring into the camera. So there's really no way to presume that you're going to recognize the couple. From the time you zoom with them until the time you actually meet with them at some designated location, right? So I learned years ago to never address anyone at a wedding with a relationship title. Meaning years ago, I went up to a woman and I asked if she was the bride's sister. And she told me she was the bride stepmother. Oh, it's very bad that like the stepmother was two years younger than the bride.


Clint  8:28  
Oh my gosh. Okay.


JP Reynolds  8:30  
So after that, I vowed, I would never like say, Oh, you must be Grandma, or Oh, you must be, you know, to me, are you so I never never used any relationship titles. It's always Hi. All right. I'm JP. That's, that's it. I'm Rusty. So I'm there early at the designated site.


Unknown Speaker  9:00  
And


JP Reynolds  9:04  
I was looking at the ocean or whatever. And I turned around and I showed the back of a man and a woman who appeared to be a particular age and I instinctively thought it was the bride's parents. So I went over it Hi, I'm shaky and they turned around, and I said, Oh, you must be. Oh, no, Cindy Lou's parents. And the man looked at me and he said, No, it's me. Bill, the groom. Oh my gosh. And this is my mother.


Unknown Speaker  9:42  
Oh my gosh.


JP Reynolds  9:43  
And I was like, I'm JP I was gonna do your wedding. More. It was like, Oh my God. I and I realized in that moment, I am like, just, you know, little Rusty here, I forgot my one of my rules. And I'm remember where it was very sweet. We're standing on the groom and myself, we're standing and in the spot and the bride. emerge emerged and was being escorted by a father, who I thought looked like her grandfather. But that's beside the point. And I'm a surgeon says to me, wow, I don't recognize her. thinking, Oh, dude, don't Don't do this to me. It's like, I didn't recognize you. And if you don't recognize her, maybe I'm on the wrong lawn. Like, it wasn't like, wow, I barely recognize her. It was like, I don't recognize her as like, Oh, no. And so once again, I forgot. It's like, yeah, I've forgotten the Weka junis. of the sweetness of the moments.


Clint  11:11  
The first thing? Yeah, yes. Okay, the first thing that went through my head was the podcast gods have smiled on us once more. Because they've given JP another nugget. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.


JP Reynolds  11:28  
I it was it was very sweet. And, you know, it also was interesting, because the bride was so radiant. You know, there are some brides who, you know, the vast majority brides certainly look happy. But then there's that, that, let's call it the 1%. Wood. They are truly like you need sunglasses to look at them. This bride was so radiant, and every email she sent me. She ended by I'm so happy. I'm so happy. That's great. And, and I ran out. And what is the thing that I did remember was right before the ceremony, I asked the groom if he had a handkerchief for Kleenex. And God loved he said, Why? Is like oh, Because? Because one or both of you may need it. That's why. So the we got some Kleenex. And thank God we did because he spent the entire ceremony. Entire ceremony dabbing the eyes of his bride. No, because she, she she wasn't it wasn't the sobbing crying. It wasn't the ugly crying. It was just the tears just it was just a fountain of tears.


Unknown Speaker  12:58  
happy tears.


Clint  13:01  
I had the same thing happened to me, Sunday. Not


Unknown Speaker  13:06  
they they recognized each other. There wasn't that issue.


Clint  13:10  
But they were an older couple kids and that sort of thing. And the bride had two teenage kids that were there. But while they're looking at each other during the ceremony, they both had tears come to their eyes. And I keep thinking that people that are older, that have you know, been around the block a few times, when they make a decision to get married like this, I would say more often than not the depth of the decision, the weight of it, the emotional significance of it to say I want to do it right this time. And here's the person that I think that is the right person. You don't I mean, no disrespect to anybody else. It's just everybody goes through different phases of their life, when they reach this phase, and then they find this person and then I just keep seeing over and over again, how happy they are and grateful. That's the other thing is that they're so grateful to the other person. And that means the world.


JP Reynolds  14:04  
Well, I think you know, two other things I would say. Because I've thought about this one is I think these micro weddings intensified the energy of the ceremony. And I'm finding that the micro weddings, the micro weddings, the elopements are emotionally in some respects emotionally more intense than a larger guest counted wedding. And I think it's because of the intimacy. I think there's a direct correlation between the intimacy and the emotions that are chat.


Clint  14:49  
Agreed. I just, I have a theory about that. I think it's because the energy isn't dispersed. When I was acting, we would talk about it actors that for some reason didn't want to commit to the scene or to the other actor, and they would turn their body away, or they would turn their head, they wish they wouldn't engage. And so you and I both know that some people who I, you know, I call them amateurs, they're not used to being in front of people that are used to doing this type of an event. And, and so their energy is dispersed because they're distracted, and they have all this other stuff going on. When we get rid of all the distractions, and all they have is each other. Right, then I think, possibly, that's why they're so connected in it. So


JP Reynolds  15:33  
I'm gonna give you another fist bump. 102. Thank you. Yeah, absolutely. Absolutely. It's a fascinating byproduct of, of this whole micro experience. I think the second thing I was going to say, though, that that struck me was Wi Fi, we've talked about this. And you know, last week, our guest was a woman who is a wordsmith, who's writer, and we spoke last week with her about about the power of words, language and all of that. But it was, you know, it was interesting, particularly on Friday, where, on the one hand,


Unknown Speaker  16:24  
I know that


JP Reynolds  16:27  
what I was saying, My word choice was important.


Unknown Speaker  16:36  
On the other hand,


JP Reynolds  16:39  
the experience transcended the words.


Unknown Speaker  16:45  
And


JP Reynolds  16:48  
there is in some realm, I may very well have been reading the local phone book. And the emotions were they've been generated, because of all of the understanding that the couple had that they are present, in the moment, the physical moment of time, that they had been anticipating, and longing for. And it really reminded me of, of the paradox and the mystery of, of language in a ceremony and the paradox and mystery of what is generated. In that moment, on that spot, with these people.


Clint  17:44  
We've talked a number of times, over the course of our podcasts, that the word magic are magical. And I've always figured that the word magical is something beyond our understanding, you know, something that you know, and so, there is that mystical thing, which I think also falls into that same category, what we call somebody a mistake or a mystical experience, there is something beyond our understanding beyond the norm. And, and I definitely see that


Unknown Speaker  18:15  
I'm going to switch gears just for a second. Do you mind?


Unknown Speaker  18:18  
Oh, okay.


Clint  18:22  
I was gonna do it. Anyway, I was just being nice. Remember, our friend Lee Dyson, who was a guest on Yeah, no way. Yes. Okay. So his company is Hey, Mr. DJ, calm listener. It's exactly the way it's at why Mr. DJ, calm. He sent me I forget exactly where I saw it. But I thought it was amazing. It might have been a Facebook post. Okay, now, here's the lead up to it. One of the other podcasts that I do is called the mitzvah party podcast. And it's exactly what you think it would be, which is about me and another guy who wants an entertainment company, we talk about bar and Bar Mitzvah parties, you know, the celebration after the ceremony? Well, you know, okay, so the pandemic hits, and we shut down for a little while, then we come back on, and we start to interview people who have made adjustments the same way that we're talking about our Michael weddings and things like that. This event planner, who's done five bazillion events. In fact, she took over her mom's company who did five bazillion events. She talked about how she pivoted with her company to provide an excellent kind of like zoom experience, but amped up 100 times when professional audio


JP Reynolds  19:31  
streaming service to me


Clint  19:33  
Well, it's like everything. It's like everything. That's Yeah, so you're on zoom. So yes, you are streaming but but the but if you amp up the technology of it like professional cameras and professional audio equipment, that kind of thing. Then Not only is it better streamed, but it also is better for the recorded experience as well. So I saw Lee has that kind of a service going on. That's an option and He showed an example of it a demonstration reel. And it was at a facility that you and I are both really aware of that has an outdoor kind of ceremony site. And they had cameras everywhere. The here's what really struck me that I thought was incredibly cool. So not only are people watching the ceremony happened live, and they can watch anywhere they are in the world. But they, they had a big television set up. Okay, imagine that, that you're the couple and you're done with the ceremony and you go back up the aisle, and then you take a left to go into the facility. And right there, they had a huge television that was filled with all the people that were watching on zoom. Yeah. And there was a camera on top of it. And so in addition to all the cameras that were covering the ceremony, they had a camera on top of it. So the bride and the groom, filled with that elation that oh my gosh, we just got married. And it's kind of a surreal euphoric experience. They walk right up to that monitor, and they can see all of these people. And through that screen, now I'm looking at it through another kit. So it's like I'm twice removed from this experience right there in front of it. But I'm looking at the the demo video that Lisa set up. And it was. So moving, that all these people in this television, were all sending their love to this couple who were standing there and all of their tuxedo, bridal gown glory, having just gotten married. I thought that was awesome, because we've heard about the streaming situation. But a lot of times the people that are directly involved like the couple, they don't have that connection, they don't see the other people you know, I mean, but to have that separate television set up so that when they get they walk away from the ceremony, they immediately are digitally embraced by all the people that are watching was so powerful to me. I thought it was great. And I thank you again to Lee. And hey, Mr. DJ, for showing me that because I think I was fantastic.


Unknown Speaker  22:02  
Absolutely.


JP Reynolds  22:05  
Well, great.


Clint  22:07  
Well, thank you, JP, I think you're great too. All right, everybody. That's the way this works. We tell stories because we never run out of stories because we still are doing weddings and as the weddings morphin evolve and whatever it is, we're all still right in the thick of it. And I know that you have stories too and you can contact us it's really simple. Go to our website, wedding ceremony, podcast, com, click on the email us button and then tell us a story or ask us a question. And we would love to have you involved. You know if it fits the bill. Okay, I'm not gonna edit that.


JP Reynolds  22:48  
More keep moving.


Clint  22:51  
Remember that JPS books are in the Amazon store and the Kindle store in Amazon is communications coaching website is the business of confidence calm. his wedding website is jPr weddings.com. Mine is Reverend Clint calm or Clint hufft Hq FFT calm for all the things that I do. If you really enjoy the podcast experience, then my recommendation you have two options. Number one, you can go to our website, wedding ceremony, podcast calm and then all of our episodes are right there on the landing page. They're archived chronologically. The most recent one is at the top or you can go to wherever you get podcast, I recommend the Apple store or any of the apps that access the Apple Store and then search for us wedding ceremony podcasts, and then click on the subscribe button. And then that way every time we post a new episode, it'll automatically come into your podcast world. And while you're there if you'd like leave us a review. Having good reviews like five star reviews. is one of the ways that people discover us so if you like what you listen to tell your friends and then also leave us a review that would be fantastic that oh and thank you very much the incredible musicians that play our theme music that a couple players da ca p o players calm. That's it for this episode of the wedding ceremony podcast. This is Clinton on behalf of JP We will see you next time
​

#287
Clint  0:00  
Hey everybody, welcome to the wedding ceremony podcast. We talk about anything and everything that has to do with wedding ceremonies. This is episode number 287 recorded on Tuesday, September the 22nd 2020. Man, it's a lot of twos and 20s. I lost my train of thought. But anyway, My name is Clint Hufft. And with me are two people. The first one you know you love him, the one and only JP Reynolds.


JP Reynolds  0:29  
Hey, Clint, very excited for today's episode.


Clint  0:33  
I am too and that is because of our special guest. All the way from Texas, Taylor Griffith. Taylor, How are you?


Taylor Griffith  0:41  
Hey, thanks for having me.


Clint  0:44  
Oh, sure. Of course. Now, listeners, you are probably wondering who the heck is Taylor Griffith? And why do you have her on the podcast? And I will explain all of that in just a moment. But first JP’S books are in the Amazon store and the Kindle store in Amazon. He is a communications expert. Thebusinessofconfidence.com is that website. His wedding website is JPRweddings.com. Mine is ReverendClint.com or ClintHufft.com for all the things that I do. Now, Taylor Griffith is a writer. And we got an email from her. That was the best written email I have ever received in my entire life. JP, I don't know if you go that far. But you did admit to me that you thought it was really well written.


JP Reynolds  1:31  
I did. I did. Taylor, you are an accomplished writer, yes?


Taylor Griffith  1:39  
Yes, yes. He reassures me that I know what I'm doing.


JP Reynolds  1:42  
In this age when emails are tattered and scattered, It was it was a delight.


Clint  1:48  
Yes. tattered and scattered. That's going on the T shirt. Yeah. Yeah. Taylor, if you don't mind, you approached us as a copywriter in the wedding business. But Fun fact, you're getting married in November? And is that right?


Taylor Griffith  2:08  
I am. I'm getting married in November, this year, which is 2020. So November 2020. I'm a Corona bride, I suppose.


Clint  2:16  
I guess you are about that. And so what I'm curious about and I said this to you in the email, when I invited you to join our podcast was, your specialty is helping people kind of with their, their writing and their branding as far as business goes. But I was curious about whether or not you are applying your incredible writing skills to your own wedding ceremony. And just kind of your thoughts about preparing for the wedding ceremony and all of that kind of stuff. So if you don't mind, let's begin with how people can connect with you give us your whatever those whether it be social media or website or whatever, start with that, and then start telling us the story.


Taylor Griffith  2:56  
Sure, yeah. So thanks for having me. My name is Taylor. My business is Lemon Tree Editorial. I am a website copywriter who specializes in the wedding industry. So if you serve couples on their wedding day, I serve you helping to sell to them. And so you're right. I'm a writer, I have been my entire career, I went to college for that. I have done all different kinds of writing jobs over the years before working for myself with my own business. And yeah, it's been fun working in the wedding industry, and then myself getting engaged and getting married and going through the client side or the couples side of the experience because as a writer in sales, essentially, that's what copy is, is words that sell things. It has been really helpful to sit in the couple's seat and see what that experience is like. Reading websites, going on people's Instagrams. So if you wanted to find me online and learn more about me and my business, my website is LTeditorial.com. Or you can find me on Instagram at tm, Griffey g Ri ffvi. You can find me on there I talk about writing, I talk about inclusive language, which is a big piece of my platform. And I just talked about in general. And so much of this parallels to writing for your wedding ceremony. So I'm glad that we're having this chat. There's so many things that are similar or the same, even across those things, because you're writing with other people in mind. It's not necessarily for you. So whether you're writing your own ceremony or you're writing ceremony for somebody else, you have to think about your audience. What do they want, storytelling, personality, humor, all of those pieces involved. So to answer your question, Clint, I am not writing my own ceremony. We decided that we were doing a lot when it comes to wedding planning because we did not hire a planner. So I outsource that, but I am very eager to get the copy back from our officiant and to help her work on that now. It doesn't mean I didn't write anything. She had a very detailed questionnaire that she sent to us, my fiancé and I to sort of answer questions. And of course, it was written. And so I wrote quite a bit for that. And actually, it's kind of funny, if I read his versus mine. His is like, one sentence answers to the questions. And mine are like two paragraphs for every question. But yeah, so I'm excited to see what she comes up with and then helping her I'm sure tweak, tweak some of that to incorporate even even more storytelling, even more personality, even more significant moments from from our lives into the ceremony.


Clint  5:43  
Before we get into the meat of the ceremony itself, I'm curious as to how you found your officiant.


Taylor Griffith  5:51  
That was like a big thing for us. First of all, my fiancé, David, and I are not religious. So we want to have a civil ceremony. So it was important to us, we're getting married in South Carolina, which has significance to me and my family. And that's a very religious area, we are not religious. So it was important for us to find somebody who was going to be okay with that, and wasn't going to hit us over the head with church, because that's not something that we care about. And we wanted to find somebody that was close enough that they would know about us, and we would feel comfortable having them there on our day, but doesn't know us so much that they wouldn't be able to speak because they get all choked up as they were talking. So the person who we landed on is a dear friend of my mom, who lives in the area. And so she knows me and David. And she has some some experience like public speaking. She's a teacher, she was a teacher for a long time, and so is familiar with standing up in front of a group and was kind of similar to us in the religious sphere of totally comfortable keeping that out of ceremony, and she's officiated a few weddings before. And so that is how we selected her.


JP Reynolds  7:14  
Great. Well, I'm curious Taylor, as to how you came upon this niche as a copywriter? What a good story in the world of weddings.


Taylor Griffith  7:29  
Yeah, so I have always been a writer, as I mentioned, and I have always done work on the side outside of like my corporate nine to five job. And I decided that I wanted to leave the corporate sphere and start my own business. And I started out as most writers do writing everything for everyone, and quickly found that that was exhausting, and not as much fun as I thought it would be. So I looked at my list of previous clients, at the suggestion of a business coach, and just tried to find themes of people who I thought were the most fun, the projects that I had the best time with, or I felt the most inspired when I was writing, and what could I find in common between all of those. And so I did that and all of them, coincidentally, were wedding vendors. I decided that that was the thing. Yeah, one was a wedding cake Baker. One was a caterer who did weddings and other events. Yeah, and a few sort of similar like that. And so I was just like, Oh, that makes a lot of sense. And then I really thought about it. And I've tried to figure out, Okay, why does that industry work for me? What about them was the most fun, and I realized that I am a very creative person. So I appreciate the wedding industry for being beautiful and aesthetically interesting. And there's a lot of new ideas and inspiration. And so that really gets me going when it's time to sit down and write. And there's enough variety, because I don't just write for, let's say, wedding officiants. I also write for venues, for planners, for photographers, for florists, so there's enough variety to keep me interested. But there's also enough in common that it's challenging, where every time I work on a new person, I have to push myself to find a different hook or a different way to describe them. So yeah, it's been super fun ever since I narrowed down to that work has just flowed in it was like I said, hey, you're the people for me. And all those people were like, great, you're the person for us. And it was just perfect, perfect situation.


JP Reynolds  9:40  
But it's a two way street. Yes. What kind of what kind of wedding professional seeks you out?


Taylor Griffith  9:50  
Really, in terms of what do they do? It's really anybody who has who works with a couple on their wedding day but in terms of like demographics, and everything. there's kind of two branches. There's either the younger branch like, I'm 29, so sort of, like 30, or younger, 35 or younger, who grew up with the internet and websites and recognize that that's important. But maybe they just don't like writing, or they don't want to do everything themselves. And so they need help. Or, there's a lot of my customers are a little bit older, like 40 50 60 have been doing this for a long, long time, have a heck of a lot of experience, but they don't really get the whole website thing. And they recognize that their customers are my age and younger, and their customers really require a website. It's a non negotiable, but they just don't really get it. And so they hire somebody like me to help them with that.


JP Reynolds  10:51  
And your your emphasis, when you reached out to us, Taylor, what really intrigued Clint and myself was your dedication, your commitment, the emphasis you place upon inclusive language. And I have to believe that, based on how you presented your work, this sets you apart in some respect from others who are doing what you're doing. Maybe you could say a little bit more about that.


Taylor Griffith  11:28  
Yeah, so a huge part of my brand, which is really just a reflection of me and my personality, is I really care about people being authentic, and original themselves and a branch of that as being inclusive and really accepting other people for being themselves. And so, if you work with me for copywriting, I always start with really trying to get to what makes you different, what makes you special? How are you different, because there's a million wedding officiant and celebrants out there, right? They could all stand up there and say the vows for you and physically marry you, sign the paper, the whole thing. But there's a reason that somebody chose you, JP or you Clint, over another officiant in your area. And that reason is what you should be putting front and center on your website. So in any case, some of that has to do with embracing who you are, and also embracing who your couples are as people. And we can't overlook that that includes certain aspects of themselves. Like if they are an LGBT couple, for example, or if they are a black couple, or an interracial couple or an interfaith couple. And I think this industry is broken, in a way, and it's very trend focused. It's very white, it's very young, it's very wealthy, it's very thin. And we all know that that's not what the real world looks like. Plus sized people get married too. Black people get married too. Non religious people get married too. Trans people get married too. All of that, and who is catering to those people and saying congratulations on your engagement, I want to be part of your special day. Not a lot of people are whether they mean to or not. And most of us don't, most of us want to welcome those people with open arms, but just a lack of information and education out there kind of prevent us from from doing that. And there's not a lot of great examples to follow. And so part of my role as a podcast, you can't see me but I am a white woman, I'm cisgender, which means that I was born as a woman and I identify as a woman, I am straight. I'm a woman interested in men, all of that I have a lot of privilege. And so I feel like it's my duty as somebody with that power to use the platform and the power that I have to spread that message because no social justice movement ever made progress without the people who have power giving some of that away, and letting those people in. And so really, when I contacted you about getting on the podcast, because I know that you talk about wedding ceremonies, and really, to get married, all you need is a couple getting married and you got the officiant truly, that's all that you need to do it. And it's really the heart of the entire wedding is the ceremony. And so it needs to be inclusive, you need to recognize people for who they are and make them feel welcomed and wanted and all of that. So that's where the inclusive language part of my business comes from.


Clint  14:32  
How did you learn about that inclusive language?


Taylor Griffith  14:38  
Have you ever heard of the enneagram of personality test? I bring that up, because my type is number one, which is all about, justice, truth, fairness, equity, all of that. And I just bring that up to say, I it's just how I'm wired. I just have always really cared about social justice movements in general. And it's been something that I've followed. When I was in college, I got certified as an ally on campus, I was in a sorority, and I started an inclusive sorority initiative for LGBT people to feel like they could be involved in Greek life at school. I’ve have always kept up with that and carried on with that and getting into my own business. Again, when you're your own boss, you get to decide the rules and what you want to do and how you want to help people and speaking like I did before, about telling people to focus on what makes them different, this is something that makes me different is that I care about this, so much so that I will open my big mouth, and I will tell you that you're being exclusive, or unoriginal, or you're keeping people out and help, hopefully, in a nice way, try and help you get better. So I've taken courses, and I've read articles, and I'm always looking for my next thing to keep learning myself. But overall, a lot of this stuff I just know, from diversifying my own friend group, and knowing people who look different than me, and asking them questions and having open honest conversations and learning about it that way.


JP Reynolds  16:17  
So Taylor, when you just said, you would, tell someone You're not being inclusive?


Taylor  16:25  
Yeah.


JP Reynolds  16:28  
Going back to when I had asked you who seeks you out? Would you say that? And this is speaking roughly that the majority of the people who seek you out, are have a heightened awareness of the need for inclusivity?


Taylor Griffith  16:53  
Yes, I'm, in fact, I asked those questions. When somebody inquires with me. And at the end of our project, when I'm sort of doing like a testimonial questionnaire, I asked, why did you pick me over somebody else? Or what made you interested in working with me? And they always say, it's because you had a focus on inclusive language. And so either the person themselves is somebody who is in a marginalized group, like a vendor who is black, or is LGBT, or is plus size, and they want that. So they recognize there's a gap in the industry. And so they enjoy that I offered that. Or it's people of privilege, like me, white people, men, wealthy people, educated people who recognize that this is an important topic, but they also recognize that they don't really know how to address it, and they want to desperately so they seek out somebody like me,


Clint  17:52  
You know, knowing how to address it. I can relate to that, because I'm always afraid of saying the wrong word. It's supposed to be this, but now it's this but and, and JP and I are, well, I'll speak for myself, I'm old enough to have gone through different generations of language. And so that's always kind of a fascinating slash frustrating thing, when you want to say the right thing, but the word that used to be correct, is now politically incorrect. Does that make sense?


Taylor Griffith  18:19  
Yes, absolutely. Which is why I always say the number one quality that anybody needs to be able to broach this topic is bravery. And I know that as business owners and wedding vendors, you got that Enya? Because you did it when you decided to start your business and stand up there in front of a crowd and tell talk about couples in sort of a public speaking kind of scenario like that takes some hutzpah. So I know you got it. Let's exercise that again, and be willing to say, I don't know if I'm going to get this right. And it might be embarrassing, or I might offend somebody or I might get yelled at afterward. But I am committed to trying, and I'm going to put myself out there and be awkward or again, possibly get embarrassed or whatever, because it's worth putting in the effort to try and make it happen. So there are places that you can go to try and keep up with the language, it definitely changes over time, and it's just part of the territory is you might try and be inclusive, and you might get it wrong. And that's, that's just the name of the game.


Clint  19:26  
Have you ever not taken on a client?


Taylor Griffith  19:29  
Um, no, because and this goes back to like copywriting in general. My opinion is you need to put yourself out there authentically as you and what you like and what you don't like. And it's okay to say that you like something and you don't like something else. And if people read that on your website or in your social media, they will get the memo, essentially and they'll go, oh, that person's not right for me. So for example, let's say that you're an LGBT couple. And you're looking for a wedding officiant, who is LGBT ceremony friendly, and you go to the officiant’s website, and they have language and photos talking about how they serve LGBT couples, then you know, okay, this is going to be a good fit for me versus if every single photo is of a straight couple. And you don't write about inclusivity for something, like sexuality anywhere, and you don't have any language like that, then they kind of, on the flip side, get the memo that this might not be a good fit for me. And so that's why like, changing your website is so important, but that doesn't just scan inclusivity, like we're talking about, it also just talks about, like a good fit in general. But back to your question. If somebody inquired with me, and I went to their website to check them out before I talked with them. And they had all this information about all the isms like sexist, or homophobic or racist or whatever, then that would probably be something I would ask them about before saying no, but in general, I don't have a problem saying no to those people, they're clearly not my people.


JP Reynolds  21:25  
What would be in following up from that? Can you recall one of the more challenging clients that you've had,


Taylor Griffith  21:39  
um, just in general, or like a specific thing being challenging,


JP Reynolds  21:44  
Challenging in terms of helping them expand their understanding of the importance of inclusivity?


Taylor Griffith  22:05  
I think, not to be stereotypical. This is just my personal lived experience that normally comes up with older people. And I don't mean old, in general, just older than me. So again, I'm almost 30. So I'm talking about somebody who maybe has been in the game for 20 years, 30 years, 40 years. And as you mentioned, Clint, you've been around for a while, and you've seen things change. And you're kind of a little wary of that, and not sure what to do, and you have a process established and pieces established. And so it would require a lot of work to change, everything involved. For the most part, the people who struggle with the work that's involved with changing their language are those people who have maybe been around the block a time or two and have had a negative experience with trying to be inclusive and getting yelled at for it or feeling embarrassed, or they have like a boatload of stuff that would need to be changed. And in a lot of ways, they're looking for just a copy and paste solution, which there are versions of that, there's words that you can swap out like an exclusive word swap out for an inclusive word. Instead of saying “bride” all the time, just “a couple”, because you don't know if you're talking to a bride or not. But not everything is that simple.


Clint  23:29  
Right. This is fascinating. I think the whole thing is just fascinating, on a lot of different levels. And I realized, JP and I talked about this in the last episode, how it seems to be it can be regional, in terms of the progression of the social mores, and what's accepted in terms of inclusivity and etc. Have you found that there are certain regions of the country that you don't have to explain as much as opposed to other regions of the country that maybe need to be brought up to speed?


Taylor Griffith  24:03  
Oh, if it's region so much as its urban versus suburban or rural, I find that people who are from an urban area, just naturally have more exposure to more diversity, because that's just the nature of cities. There's a lot of different people from different backgrounds, they live in different types of homes, and they get to work in different types of ways. And so they're just used to that, that diversity, versus people who maybe are from the suburbs, or even out in the country haven't really been exposed to that. So they just don't necessarily know what to do or what to say. But I found I've worked with clients all over the country and I have found that it doesn't matter like which region versus another. I’ve had somebody from every region be interested in the topic. So it's just how exposed are they and how much experience have they had with it in the past, I've had a lot of people say I want to be more inclusive. But my customer base is very white. I live in a very white area and so I don't know what to do to attract those people. And my answer to that is always let's start with your words on the page.


Clint  25:21  
Lovely, lovely. Well now I'm really curious about your wedding ceremony. Because at the very beginning of this, you said that you were mindful of the content not only for you and your fiancé, but also for the guests. And I've always been of the opinion that the most important thing is what happens between the two of you. And the guests are just lucky they get to watch. But it sounds to me like the officiant that you chose is not an officiant, officiant, that is somebody you think, who would be able to do the job? Have you provided any guidelines in regards to that process? Fill that in?


Taylor Griffith  26:02  
Yeah, I know her well enough to know that she's a pretty good writer. And she's a pretty good speaker, that I trust her to get the ball rolling. And then yeah, I said, I would love to read what you have, at some point. That way, we can work on it together to make sure it's something that that I would want. So yes, you're correct. She doesn't. She's not an officiant full time. But she has done officiating for friends and family before. And so that was part of the reason why we felt comfortable using her. But I think overall, there are parallels between writing a website, for example, and writing ceremony. There's things that they have in common. And so for example, like I mentioned, your audience there. And so you as the officiant who are writing the ceremony, you have to think about who is your audience for this? And yes, your audience is the couple who hired you. But it's also the people who are in sitting in the seats in the audience observing this, and you want to make sure that they're part of it, too. And that's the same thing that you're doing when you write a website for your business is you're thinking about, okay, I, as the business owner, want to tell people things and want them to do something. But I also recognize that they are coming here for answers to their questions and for information that they want. And so how can I meet both of those needs at the same time, and it's a little bit of a juggling act. And that's why, writing as a profession, just like anything else, because it is a skill set, it's not always easy.


Clint  27:37  
I'm really fascinated by this whole thing. And I think that, if you don't mind, we'll do a little part two, after you get married. How the whole thing turned out. But we've run out of time right now, Taylor, I think this has been great. If you don't mind, there's a possibility that there will be people that will want to reach out to you when they listen to the podcast, what's the best way for them to do that?


Taylor Griffith  27:58  
Totally. Yeah. So two best places for me are on my website and my Instagram. So my website is LTeditorial.com. That's lt as in lemon tree editorial.com. If your listeners want, they can go to my website, and scroll down to the bottom and they'll see a form to add their email address. And I will email them a copy of my inclusive language Guide, which is totally free. And it will give you some of those words swaps that I mentioned. Which word to use versus not to use. So I have those four people. And I also hang out my social media is on Instagram. My handle is @TMGriffi. And you can find me there. And same thing, if you click on the link in my bio, you can grab a copy of your free inclusive language guide there. And so that way, you could go through your own ceremony, scripts, your website, whatever, and make sure that they're inclusive. So that way, everybody knows that you want to marry them.


Clint  28:54  
That's very cool. JP, any last words?


JP Reynolds  28:57  
Taylor, it's such a delight, talking with you today. And I salute you and cheer you on in this great work that you're doing.


Taylor Griffith  29:11  
Well, thanks to both of you for having me. Because as I mentioned, you people with power and privilege have to use it for good. And the two of you have power, privilege and a platform. So thank you for having me to use your platform to spread this message.


Clint  29:27  
Yeah, absolutely. We've been honored to have you here. And I'll be honest with you, Taylor, whenever we have somebody come on, I have no idea what's going to happen. But you have exceeded my expectations. So good job.


Taylor  29:37  
Oh, good things.


Clint  29:39  
Well, there you go, everybody. That's the way this works with the wedding ceremony podcast. So we really invite you to join the conversation, go to our website, wedding ceremony, podcast comm and click on the email us button, and we check it every day. And then if you have a story to tell us or a question to ask or anything like that, then we invite you to email us also on that website is where all of our episodes episodes are archived they're chronological, the most recent one is at the top. And if you really want to get into the podcast thing then subscribe. Go to the Apple podcast site and find wedding ceremony podcast and click the subscribe button. And then every time we post a new episode, it'll automatically come into your podcast world. Remember you can find JPS books in the Amazon store and in the Kindle Store on Amazon for communications coaching, the business of confidence calm and that website is wedding website is JP our weddings calm. My name is Reverend Clint calm or Clint hufft Hq FFT calm for all the things that I do. Once again, we thank the incredible musicians that play our theme music that a couple players da ca p o players calm. That's it for this episode of the wedding ceremony podcast. This is Clinton on behalf of Taylor and JP We will see you next time.

#285
Clint  0:00  
Hey everybody, welcome to another episode of the wedding ceremony podcast where we talk about anything and everything that has to do with wedding ceremonies. This is episode number 285. recorded on Tuesday, September the eighth 2020. My name is Clint Hufft. And with me is a gentleman that well I'm really excited what's happened. I don't know what's coming next. The one and only JP Reynolds.


JP 0:28  
Hello Clint.


Clint  0:35  
This is episode number 285. And you would think that we would know how this works but sometimes Well, you know. JP is an accomplished author. His books are in the Amazon store and in the Kindle Store in Amazon. He is a communications expert. thebusinessofconfidence.com is that website. His wedding website is JPRweddings.com. Mine is ReverendClint.com or ClintHufft.com for all the things that I do. JP, before we hit the record button we were talking about what will we start with? And you said you had something?


JP Reynolds  1:15  
I do. And I have I have something that's just, like a moment, a moment that I experienced with a couple that was just so sweet. And the moment I experienced with the same couple that was so wackadoo. So, I'll start with the sweet part and we we've been doing this mini weddings for a long time. And you and I know and I think the 99.9% of our listeners know that you can never predict anything about the ceremony. 
So, last week, I had an old fashioned elopement where it was just the couple and me. There was no Mama. There was no the twins. It was just a couple. And they were, yes. You know, the twins. And they were a little older, second marriage for both of them. And they were out of state. And it was just, it's time and we'll do a big celebration later, but this is for us.You and I've talked about We love elopements, we love these micro weddings. So I went into this real low key, just the two of them no fuss, no muss and met them at the venue. I had already zoomed with them so it was lovely. And again very low key. It turned out they did have a professional photographer so that beforehand they did some photos, you know? I said, whenever you want to start, we can start and I said all right, let's let's do this. And the bride said, Oh, wait, wait, wait, wait. I want to process. There's no guests. There's no nothing. And the sweetness of that I want to begin in the most traditional of ways. And there's something very lovely about it. So she walks off a bit, and the groom and I just stand there. And we now watch the bride walk towards us, or in particular, towards the groom. And within a few seconds, he choked up and started to cry.


Clint  4:47  
Oh, yes.


JP Reynolds  4:51  
And I thought how, just how sweet. How sweet. Before they were talking, laughing, they had photos, all low key, all laid back. And then in that moment, this woman just holding a bouquet, walking. It was exquisite. It was exquisite, because it was so simple. And I was taken totally by surprise, because it would not have occurred to me because everything had been so low key and so laid back. It would not have occurred to me that in that moment that's what would have gotten him to choke up.


Clint  5:49  
I actually can completely relate to this. It's weird because as you're describing it, I'm playing the role of the groom in my head. 
Seeing her walk away from me. And then the entire, correct me if I'm wrong, but this is what it feels like when you tell the story, the entire energy shifts as she turns and now she's really my bride because I think the vibe before was this is my fiancé and da da da. But she turns and oh my gosh, she's my bride and everything that a man feels about how did I get this lucky and oh my gosh, I can't believe she's still here and then I can totally relate to the emotions hitting that guy. Absolutely. It's interesting. I don't know why she decided to walk away and then walk up with a bit of formality.
But boy, thank goodness she did, right, because look at the way it affected you.


JP Reynolds  6:54  
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I mean, it was very so then um, She finally cuts to less. And, it's just the three of us. It's very intimate and talking and suddenly three seagulls land on a small building that's on the property, a standalone building that's on the property, land on the roof of the building. And start to squawk. I have to tell you, I am not exaggerating. I have never heard seagulls squawk as loudly as these three seagulls. They were like animatronics at Disneyland.
Okay, it was like, Could somebody do something? They were so, Wow. They were like, I mean, how loud were they JP? I had to stop talking. I just don't remember seagulls being that loud.


Clint  8:26  
I don't know what it is about my personality, but I immediately start imagining what they were actually saying to each other. You know? Hey, see those people get married. Hey, Hey, Hey, what are you doing?


JP Reynolds  8:38  
Okay, don't scare me. Don't scare me.


Clint  8:40  
All right now, bouncing off of your story about how the guy started to cry when his bride turned and started walking back towards him. Okay, the groom started to cry. But here's what happened. This is a small wedding. I think there was maybe 20 people on the guest list and We're on a lawn that overlooks the ocean. So a little bit of a cliff kind of scenario. And it's time to begin. And this particular wedding had an event planner, right, so But what happened was, I'm doing everything that I do before the wedding. And then I'm thinking and then there's this moment of peace, where I'm just relaxing, waiting for things to begin. And the planner comes up and says, you can go ahead and take your place the groom is already up there. And I'm immediately, This is moment of panic, like, What? How come nobody… I'm supposed to be… with how did it? Anyway, I have to make the best of the situation. So I come walking up, and the music hasn't even started yet. I think there might be like background, it was a guitar player. So he was just playing like background music. And as I'm walking up the groom is in conversation with an older gentleman. And then they see me walking up and the gentleman says, Okay, I'll see you later. Pat's him on the side and then he walks away to take a seat. The groom then turns to look out at the ocean. And I can see that he's tearing up. And I said something about that's fine. What you're feeling is you're right on schedule. Everything's okay. I'm thinking he's crying because he's about to get married. But then he continues to cry. I have a package of tissues in my pocket. So I gave him something like that for his tears and again, our back is to the guests and the processional has not begun yet. And he's still crying. And even though it's silent, you know how you can look at somebody's eyes and you can see that the tear, I mean, they're not just welling up he's like crying freshly. I mean, there's a lot of stuff going on inside him. And again, I have no idea. I just am thinking that he's about to get married and there's something going on. But then, it Hit me, I got this impulse. And I said very quietly to him, almost out of the side of my mouth because we're both looking out of the ocean. Why are you crying?
I never have ever asked that question before. But there was something different about what was going on with him, there was something different. Why are you crying? And he said, That man I was talking to is the father of my best friend who died. And I said, I'm so sorry, how long ago did he pass? About three years ago, but I really wish he was here. Oh, okay. Now everything shifted, right? Now my whole thing is like, Okay, wait a minute, this is a different ballgame. And, we still had some space of time. That's what it felt like to me. We needed space. You know, time became a different kind of commodity. I put my arm around his shoulders. And I said, He's probably here. And he said, that's what his dad just said. I said he wants the best for you. And this is a good thing. 
Now, I can't take credit for the fact that he pulled himself together, because quite honestly, I'm not. I don't think he pulled himself together until his bride was right in front of him. And I don't know if she had any idea what he was actually experiencing. Maybe she thought that he was crying just because of her, which is great. That's fine. Then you can realize how important this moment is to him. It was very important to him but there was a different dynamic to it. You know what I mean? But that moment where I just felt compelled to Why are you crying? Because it felt differently, came out of the blue. And thank goodness I had that impulse because I think that helped him process and get ready for getting married. Does that make sense?


JP Reynolds  13:08  
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. People always say they don't want to cry and I say, no Cry, cry.  Personally I love seeing a man cry.


Clint  13:34  
Because why?


JP Reynolds  13:36  
Oh, because it goes against stereotype and you don't often see men cry in public. And I enjoy making men cry.


Clint  13:48  
Yes, I know you do.


JP Reynolds  13:54  
My mindset is you cry. Cry, cry like a baby. That's it. I wanted to see those tears. Um, I think it's beautiful. It's beautiful.


Clint  14:10  
There is such a thing as an ugly cry. You know what I mean?


JP Reynolds  14:16  
Oh, yeah, Yeah, I tell those people to stop immediately.


Clint  14:22  
Pull yourself together, man.


JP Reynolds  14:24  
It's like you don't know how ugly you look right now. So stop.


Clint  14:32  
You're embarrassing me.


JP Reynolds  14:33  
I am only into good looking, Clint. Now on a separate note because I have these tidbits from the last week's that never got around in terms of the ceremony site, so again, talking micro wedding. It's fascinating to see by the way That term micro wedding has become such an umbrella term because I've not had now, any two micro weddings look the same in terms of number and decor and whatever, right? This particular micro wedding was for about 20 people. And they did have this new structure that has replaced the arch, it's the circle. You've seen it because I know you've been in front of these circles where it's a circular structure, and the flowers are attached to the circular structure,


Clint  15:45  
but it's a temporary structure like an arch.


JP Reynolds  15:47  
Yeah. So it's like you're standing in front of like, it's a circle. So rather than an arch, it's a circular design.


Clint  15:59  
Okay, what I'm imagining, There's two different ways this can go. Is it? From a certain standpoint, it's like a two dimensional figure, there's no depth to it. It's just is this one flat thing that you're standing in front of? Is the same kind of a thing?


JP Reynolds  16:14  
No, no, no, no arch can be three dimensional. An arch could either be two dimensional, as you say, but I've stood in front of three dimensional arch, where it's like a gateway.


Clint  16:28  
Right? So what I'm trying to imagine with the circle, is it is the circle on top of the structure or the circle.


JP Reynolds  16:35  
It's this. It's a circular, it's like, it can either be wrought iron or it could be wooden. And it's a circular. It's in a circular shape.


Clint  16:45  
Yeah, but where is the circle? Is a circle on its side or is a circle on top?


JP Reynolds  16:49  
No, no, it there's no arch. It's just all it's a structure that is in the shape of a circle.


Clint  16:57  
Okay, I here's what I imagine and Tell me if I'm right. That if you took a circle like a halo on top of the head, and then you tilted it 90 degrees, so now the Halo is in front of somebody's face. That's what I'm imagining when you say that the flower structure is a circle. The circle is flat facing the guests as opposed to be on top like a huppah.


JP Reynolds  17:23  
Oh, yeah. Yeah. Because there's nothing to be on top of.


Clint  17:26  
There you go. That's what I meant when I said to two dimensional.


JP Reynolds  17:28  
Yeah, but you have stood in front of these. I know you'll have. They're very popular now.


Clint  17:34  
I can't recall standing in front of a circle


JP
Check your photos.


Clint  17:41  
Okay, fine. Go back to the archives.


JP Reynolds  17:42  
Back to the archives. All right. Anyway, now I'm exhausted. Okay.


Clint  17:47  
That was a lot of work.


JP Reynolds  17:48  
Yeah. I mean, luckily that has nothing to do with the story.That's what I should have said is the structure and we're gonna stand in front of this. structure, okay, and the whoever decided to place on the ground in front of the structure a throw carpet.


Clint   18:19  
Oh, like they're supposed to stand on it.


JP Reynolds  18:21  
And that's where the three of us we're gonna stand. Right. And I have to say that I've done it. I've seen it before, but I've not seen it very often. And I I just want to say that in terms of for a ceremony. It was just a lovely touch. And I'm really now into carpets at ceremonies.


Clint  18:48  
Well, okay, there's a difference. We’ve talked at length, long time ago about runners, aisle runners.


JP Reynolds  18:55  
I'm not talking about paper and I'm not talking about in my own manner.


Clint  18:59  
Well That's where I was going with this is that there's a difference between like a throw rug, or a piece of carpet that has a firm backing.


JP Reynolds  19:09  
This was this was like a Persian carpet.


Clint  19:13  
So it has substance to it.


JP Reynolds  19:15  
I guess that you could have poorly placed in your family room. Right, right. Yeah.


Clint 19:23  
Yeah. Yeah, I like that.


JP Reynolds  19:24  
And it was just very, it was a little bohemian chic. But I liked that it defined where we were standing.


Clint  19:34  
Yeah, I like stuff like that. That defines the space change, I like that a lot. Yes, we did something like that a long time ago where there was a gift basket at the sign-in table. And in a basket was a bunch of those ornamental rocks that they use for landscaping type of deals. About the size of a large egg, maybe gray in color, whatever. And so the instructions were that when the guests went to the ceremony site, they were supposed to place the rocks in a circle. Now a circle of rocks had already been loosely established, but the guests were supposed to place their rocks in between the other rocks that define the circle, and they were supposed to have their best wishes and prayers for the couple, like the rock would be the vehicle for that. And so when I walked out with the groom before the processional started, there was a guy that was on one knee and he had that rock up to his forehead. And he placed it with such precision. And the groom watched all of this, and then he got up and took a seat. So when the bride came up the aisle and stepped into that circle. It was a completely different vibe. It was awesome. And that and I think anything that you're describing, like with the circular rug, and whatever, so you're walking into it, almost a sacred space, so to speak. Yes, that's a powerful word, but I mean? Yes.


JP Reynolds  21:00  
Yeah. I love that an accurate description. Yeah, yeah.


Clint  21:05  
I've done strips of carpet, because the ground was muddy or dirty or whatever. And then the event planner would say, let's put some carpet down. So we don't have to worry about that. But that's different. That's just like a rectangle. He said larger with area.


JP Reynolds  21:17  
Yeah, yeah. Yeah. And again, I'll just quickly because I know we're running out of time, it's what all this speaks to. And it began with the story about the bride who walked away, turned around and walked to the groom. It's about the power of ritual. Mm hmm. The power of ritual, and these are all examples of the power of ritual. Yeah, why would the choir have the seagulls?


Clint  21:47  
Oh, my gosh, I really want to know what they were saying. Oh, my gosh. I revel in that stuff.
Maybe they weren't even talking about the wedding. Where did you get that fish?
Not now Not now. Well, there you go, everybody. That's the way this works.
As you can see, we have a well, we have just kind of a loose loose structure for what we do.


JP Reynolds  22:15  
But we do the shape of a circle.


Clint  22:17  
Yes, it is, and it's sacred. So if you would like to be a part of what we do, please email us, all you have to do is go to our website, weddingceremonypodcast.com and click on the email us button and then you can tell us a story or ask us a question. I forget who was it, somebody just asked me for a copy of my Wedding Ceremony Choices, which I will give for free to anybody that wants it, just let me know. And it's a pleasure to do all of that. Also, all of our episodes are on that same website. They're all archived chronologically, and the most recent one is at the top. If for some reason you cannot access the Apple podcast store then that's your other alternative is to go to our website. But if you can, then hit the subscribe button when you find wedding ceremony podcast and that way every time we post a new episode automatically come into your world. Remember that JP’S books are in the Amazon store and in the Kindle store in Amazon. For communications coaching thebusinessofconfidence.com is that website. His wedding website is JPRweddings.com. Mine is ReverendClint.com or ClintHufft.com for all the things that I do. Thank you again to the incredible musicians that play our theme music, the Dacapoplayers.com. That's it for this episode of the wedding ceremony podcast. This is Clint and on behalf of JP, We will see you next time.

#282
Clint  0:00  
Hey everybody, welcome to the wedding ceremony podcast. We talk about anything and everything that has to do with wedding ceremonies. This is episode number 282, recorded on Tuesday, August the 11th 2020. My name is Clint Hufft and with me is a gentleman who just confessed He's got some tidbits. The one and only JP Reynolds.


JP Reynolds  0:21  
Hey, Clint. Happy new week.


Clint  0:24  
Happy new week. Let's celebrate whatever we can.


JP Reynolds  0:30  
Okay. Sure.


Clint  0:36  
Oh, the people would talk about on their birthday. We made it to a new year. We made it to Tuesday.


JP Reynolds  0:43  
Yeah.


Clint  0:45  
Oh JP is an accomplished author. We should celebrate that. His books are in the Amazon store and in the Kindle Store and Amazon. He is a communications expert and that website is thebusinessofconfidence.com. His wedding website is JPRweddings.com. Mine is Reverendclint.com or Clinthufft.com for all the things that I do.
Speaking of, which, here is a little personal information. JP, I don't know if you know this about me, but I don't drink and I've never had alcohol.


JP Reynolds  1:18  
Never.


Clint 1:19  
Well, okay, that's a big fat lie. So I had communion wine when I was growing up. Well, when I got of age to do communion at my Lutheran Church. And then I was in the nightclub business for 15 years. So every now and then I would see something that looked like it was interesting, or people really liked it. Most of the time, all I would do is smell it. Okay, I'm getting off here. And I've never done any drugs, recreational drugs. So the reason is because I don't like the idea that I might really like it and want to do it a lot. So if I don't start that, somebody told me one time, the best way to quit smoking is to never start smoking. So I've never smoked. But here's this thing called social media. Now, friendly listener. You don't know this, but we actually started recording a few minutes later than what we normally do. And I take full responsibility for that because I got stuck in Instagram. And I lost track of time.
And because I got stuck in Instagram and lost track of time, you now you understand why I've never started drinking. I've because I would get stuck. 
Have you ever done that? Have you ever gotten into social media and lost track of time?


JP Reynolds  2:52  
No, but I have gotten drunk.


Clint 2:56  
And lost track of time.
Oh man, have you ever had to confront a couple and say no, I'm sorry, but we can't do this.


JP Reynolds  3:13  
Okay, did not see that question coming. No, no, I've never seen a drunk couple. And fortunately, I've actually I've never suspected that a groom or a bride was drunk. Although I have seen many a groom, many a bride actually drinking alcohol before the ceremony. And I'm always disappointed with that just because it's like, oh, just be all that you can be in this next 45 minutes. But be that as it may, I have seen drunken wedding party members and drunken family members prior to the ceremony. And during the ceremony? And I've not directly intervened with any of those people. But did confer with event planners for a heads up. What is our game plan should something go down?


Clint  4:33  
Yeah. Right. The one time where definitely, the couple had been drinking a lot and the groom was definitely three sheets to the wind. No, too extreme, but definitely drunk, was for a wedding where I got called at the last second. So it's a venue that I had worked a lot. This is at least 10 years ago, I think. And it was a venue that I worked a lot and they called me in a panic and they said, the officiant didn't show up or called them and said they're not coming or whatever, just kind of bailed. And it reminded me of that thing that our friend Alan Katz, who runs Great Officiants here in Southern California, one time he said something that I thought was just right on the money in terms of officiants that advertise on Craigslist. And their price point is very low. And Alan said, Oh, sure, I'll give you $100 to not show up.


JP Reynolds  5:31  
Haha. So, oh, fist bump on that one. Yeah,


Clint  5:39  
absolutely. So I don't really understand the whole backstory. All I know is I said, well, as soon as I could get there would be an hour because of driving time and I was definitely not ready to go. So, okay, fine, just as long as you can get here. Great. And then I get there. Where's the marriage license? Oh, we don't have a marriage license. I thought that that was your thing because that he told us he would take care of that. And I thought, Oh, these guys have been scammed so hard. And so I said, Well, it's gonna be a commitment ceremony. And so we handled it that way. And obviously, they were disappointed. But then once we got into the ceremony, it contained all the emotional components that you would want. And, from that standpoint, they were happy. And I said, Listen, here's how you get your marriage license. And when you get it, just let me know and I'll sign it. Or you can just do it at the clerk recorders office, and it'll be fine. But I would not have felt comfortable. And now that I'm thinking back on it, I might have pulled the plug on that anyway, because the groom was so drunk.
But because it was just a commitment ceremony, let's plow ahead, everything's gonna be fine because there's no legal responsibilities.


JP Reynolds  7:01  
Do you recall how big a wedding it was with guests?


Clint  7:03  
Oh, that was a good question. It was less than 100 people. And they were running so far behind that, I think we started the ceremony at least an hour and a half past when they were going to do the ceremony and anytime, and because it was a, it was at the beach, and it's a venue that they make money on, on selling food, right. And so they may charge you to have the ceremony there, but where they really are going to make their money. And this is true for most resorts, hotels, that sort of thing is on the catering. Right. Right. And I always think of, I tell couples, when they're planning their day, I'll say there's only two things that are really time sensitive. Number one is the sunset. Like if you want those photos with the sunset, the sun's gonna go down. No matter what you try to do, it's just going to go down. So you have to revolve your schedule around that but the second thing is the food because the people that make The food, they have a particular point in time where they know it's going to be perfect. And you can just imagine how frustrating it is when somebody walks up to the chef and says they're running behind. They're not going to eat for another hour.


JP Reynolds  8:18  
Right. Okay, I have to ask you quick. How did this come up in conversation about the food?


Clint  8:27  
Oh, that's a great question. Okay. So what I've discovered when you were gone for the month of June, yeah. So I had Reverend Joel on for a couple of times. And then I got this idea. And what happened was in social media, I came across a photo. I don't remember exactly. In my memory, this is what happened. I came across a photo of a wedding site. And I couldn't help it it as soon as I looked at it, it was one of pretty pictures where no guests were there. It's just all decorated, ready to go. Yeah, yeah. And I immediately started pointing out in my mind the things that could go wrong. The things that would get in the way of the couple having a brilliant memory of their wedding ceremony. There were things in the aisle, or there were things that are here or things over there and, and I thought, you know what, that would be fun to get a bunch of officiants or any wedding professionals they wanted to play. And so I did a Facebook Live, and I got about 10 photos, just off the internet of wedding ceremonies all set up with no guests and, we just went through a few of them. And I would kind of open it up to the to the anybody who attended, what do you see? You kind of have to develop that muscle. 
So now I'm also thinking in terms of being a DJ and an emcee and all the things that we had to do ahead of time in order to make sure that everything flows during the reception. I was doing that for quite a while before I became an officiant. So I brought that sensibility into officiating. And I'm always thinking in terms of, and if we get into the conversation of, obviously before the wedding day with a couple, because I tell them, I'll meet with them as many times as they want. I mean, they hardly ever take me up on that. But if every now and then a couple will ask for a meeting about a week or two before the wedding day. And then we just go over details and logistics and things like that for the ceremony. Right? But if they're talking about, are they going to do a first look, or no, we're not going to do that we're going to do to and then, and then what comes into my head is everybody's staying on schedule. And so I figure that the wedding vendors are going to do whatever the couple insists on unless it's really extreme. But for the most part, if the photographer says, I need you for another 20 minutes, and the couple says, No, we're done. Then they're done. Right? And so that's what I just kind of bring to their attention. There's only two things that are time sensitive and it's the sunset and the food. And you know what? I would say 95% of the time the couple looks at me with like, that look in their face, like oh my gosh, I never even thought of that.
So that's how it comes up. Does that make sense?


JP Reynolds  11:27  
Right, right. Right. Right.
I talked to them more about how many bars Do you have set up? And will it be open for me before the ceremony?


Clint  12:04  
You know what you said earlier in this conversation about, you get disappointed if they've been drinking before the ceremony. Because I was in the nightclub business. As a DJ, I talk to a lot of musicians who felt that they couldn't be at their best, unless they were under the influence of something in terms of creating music and stuff like that. And I think that there's a lot of people that say, the dance floor is not going to happen until people started drinking. I also think it's kind of a social peer pressure type of a deal, where perhaps there are some people who think that they need to have a little alcohol and before they can relax in front of everybody, if they're not used to being in the center of attention like that. I'm not justifying it. I'm with you 100% but I'm just thinking in terms of what people think and what they do.


JP Reynolds  13:03  
Well, you know, it's interesting listening to all of this because it again reminds me of why I have fallen in love with mini-weddings. And this whole phenomenon that is now popping up of, weddings of 12 guests or under because these weddings just strip away all of what you're talking about and strip away all of that sense of real or pseudo anxiety and Hey, let's have a drink before you lose your freedom kind of thing. And I had an opportunity to do another mini wedding. And they did this just oh, I just it's just such a refreshing experience. Because there's, there's no anxiety. There's no rushing about. It's just the essence of what the day and what the moment is about this couple celebrating in a world gone mad, their love for each other. And it's beautiful. Now, what I think is interesting also is you're talking it's reminding me of Oh my god, yes. This is what it was like pre COVID and at the end of this month, I'm doing my first Old Fashioned wedding. The first that I've done since February, and the couple are getting married at a country club, and they are having 145 guests


Clint  15:16  
where, where can they do that?


JP  15:19  
They're doing it in San Diego County. 


Clint
No kidding? And everything's okay?


JP Reynolds  15:25  
Well, okay, so it's so interesting, as you know, all too well, in these last months, it was just every, every week we were getting emails from couples postponing canceling, I need my money back. It's just, you needed to hire a secretary to keep track of everything but what was going on and I was doing it pretty much month by month in terms of where my attention was being paid and kind of forgotten about all August and cuz August pretty much vacated A while ago. And then a couple of weeks ago, I looked at my file and there was this couple at the end of the month and it's like, Wow, did they cancel yet? I had no record of them. And I reached out and I said, Hey, I thinking of you and just wanted to know what your plans are. And I was fully expecting them to say, Oh, we we've decided we're just gonna have 10 people on the beach and we look forward to seeing you. Hey, we're back. And they said, everything's great. We've made a few adjustments. But yeah, let's hop on the zoom and review everything and it was full speed ahead. So the guest list originally had been 200 dropped down to 145. The reception was going to be in a ballroom. Now everything is outdoors. Nothing is taking place indoors. There's going to be no dancing. So they got rid of the dance floor and it's now more of a traditional dinner party. But without the dancing. They're having full on wedding party of I think it's like five or six attendants on each side. 
What gives me relief is that they're in the hands of a fabulous event planner. So I know that they and all involved are in good hands. But having said that, this will be my first quote true traditional wedding since February.


Clint  18:04  
You know, I have mixed feelings, because I'm excited for you. But it could go south. I don't know. Oh, yeah.


JP Reynolds  18:18  
Now this couple I actually officiated the wedding of the groom’s sister eight years ago. Okay, so that's how I became involved with this wedding. And the family, wonderful family and these are not people riding into the wedding on Harley Davidsons for a beer fest. I think part of the pressure was that everybody in the family who's married on both sides had been married in August. Oh, groom's parents, August. Bride's parents, August. The wedding I did for the sister, August. So in order to maintain that tradition they would have to wait another year. 
But be that as it may, the venue, the Country Club is on the up and up and has been very helpful and it reminded me that where you and I living here in Los Angeles County, we're so focused obviously on the bubble of LA County, and LA County has been very, very vigilance in its protocol. The reality though is, you know, there's no statewide norm for weddings, and God knows there's no countrywide norm for weddings. And so across the state and across the country, everybody is approaching weddings from a different perspective and with different protocols.


Clint  20:33  
Yeah, and here we are the lonely little officiants that kind of have to roll with the punches, you know?


JP Reynolds  20:43  
Well, yeah, well, depending on what county you're in.


Clint 20:46  
Yeah. Well, speaking of that, one of the other podcasts that I do is I interview people that speak at the Wedding MBA conference, and we just got word that that entire conference is going to be online. The entire conference is going to be digital. There's a good side to that in that. Normally, there's about six or seven breakout sessions happening concurrently. And you have to decide, okay, what am I going to miss? What am I going to see? But now all of these are going to be on demand all the way through the end of November, it'll start on the 10th of November and through the end, and they're all be on demand. So you really, you don't have to miss anything. The only thing we're gonna miss, which is really sad, is the camaraderie, the connection and all that kind of stuff. And, of course, the Expo and seeing what's new in the business and stuff like that. 
I'm always looking for the silver lining, and the fact that all of that great education is going to be accessible is really cool. But the reason they made that decision is because the governor of Nevada came out with a decree that said, no more than 100 people. And they get thousands of people at this thing. So they just said, let's stay ahead of this. And let's go ahead and make the decision to make it all online. 


I got great news that a couple that just cancelled from May that I was going to do in May, at this beautiful place up north, just cancelled boom and I made the decision to refund their deposit. But then the planner reached out to me and they said they've decided to go ahead and get married. And it's just gonna be the two of them and a photographer and the event planner and and hopefully me the officiant on a Tuesday. And it's funny how, depending upon the circumstances, what brings us joy. If you're in the desert, a single sip of water is going to be like the greatest thing you've ever tasted. And so the fact when I got that email and said, Oh my gosh, I get to number one, reconnect with this couple and number two, be with them and actually help them get married. It was it was exhilarating. It's just funny how the context can change all that, you know?


JP Reynolds  23:06  
Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. No, it's it's crazy days crazy days and Crazy Nights.


Clint  23:20  
Yep. Yeah. It'll be interesting to see how this will how the rest of the year plays out.


JP Reynolds  23:29  
I feel relieved but the event planner they have is the event planners they have when I first when they first hired me they had my chosen event planner at that time yet, so I know they're in impeccable hands so I know their in sensible hands.


Clint  23:50  
It makes a difference, doesn't it?


JP Reynolds  23:52  
It does make all the difference, all the difference. I actually I found myself yesterday on the zoom call like looking at them and it's like yeah we hear oh wow like wow wow.


Clint  24:15  
well we have a few weeks before that happens but I really want a follow up on that because I'm really excited about that but we've run out of time for this episode.


JP Reynolds  24:24  
All right. I'm gonna go start happy hour, I guess.


Clint  24:30  
Where's the bar and can I get to it? All right, everybody. There you go. That's the way this works. By the way, we want to say thank you to Ron from down under in Australia who reached out to us after a while it was so good to hear from you again, commenting on a passed episode. And you can do that too, listener all you have to do is go to weddingceremonypodcast.com click on the email us button and we would love to hear from you. All of JP’S books are in the Amazon store and in the Kindle store in Amazon. For communications coaching. I recommend thebusinessofconfidence.com. His wedding website is JPRweddings.com. Mine is ReverendClint.com or Clinthufft.com for all the things that I do. Thank you again to the incredible musicians that play our theme music The Dacapo players, Dacapoplayers.com. That's it for this episode of the wedding ceremony podcast. This is Clint and on behalf of JP We will see you next time.