Hey everybody, welcome to the wedding ceremony podcast. We talk about anything and everything that has to do with wedding ceremonies. This is episode number 310, recorded on Tuesday, April the 13th 2021. My name is Clint Hufft. And with me is a gentleman that did a wedding, And we don't know what's going to happen next. The one and only JP Reynolds. Whoa.
Hey there, Clint.
Hey there JP. JP is an accomplished author. His books are in the Amazon store and in the Kindle Store in Amazon. He is a communications expert. thebusinessofconfidence.com is that website. His wedding website is JPRweddings.com. Mine is ReverendClint.com or ClintHufft.com, for all the things that I do. JP, it looks like we're coming to the end of the shutdown. It looks like weddings are starting to be scheduled and that huge light at the end of the tunnel is a lot closer. I'll tell you that.
JP Reynolds 1:09
Ah, yes. Yes. Did you want to think about that? I don't know, if it's a light of life, or like that's seductive and leading into dangerous territory.
A siren Call?
JP Reynolds 1:29
Well, it's very interesting. In the last weeks, in the last month, there have been any number of articles written in newspapers and websites and news reports of people having a certain reluctance, if not fear, if not anxiety of resuming a, quote, normal life, as you rightly say, there's definitely clear movement of emerging out of the unpredictable mess of last year. And I find myself having a roller coaster of emotions. In these last weeks, when I've done various types of sized weddings, of reaction, and this weekend, let me say, and it's not to be obnoxious, I am vaccinated, and I am fully vaccinated. But having said that, I did a wedding this weekend outdoors, fabulous venue here in Southern California, 85 people. And the venue kept the number of guests at 100. So they couldn't have gotten over 100 guests. And it was for the most part, the guests were more friends than family. So there were a lot of folks in their 20s and 30s. And so interesting to see all of the vendors, myself included, were walking around with masks. And the guests I would say 50/50 in terms of masks, and the seating arrangement was back to 2019 seating design.
They're just wandering around looking at people and thinking, Okay, just a show of hands, folks, how many of you are riddled with disease?
Show of hands.
JP Reynolds 4:12
Yes. Show of hands. How many of you are vaccinated? How many of you plan on at some point in time getting vaccinated? I find myself being hyper aware of people's medical conditions.
Well, it's the time we live in.
JP Reynolds 4:38
Oh, yeah. Asking that question. How are you? It's like, No, I want to know what your temperature is, your pulse. And do you have any x ray documentation? It's like, No, I want a detailed answer. And it's also interesting having emerged from a period of time where the only weddings I officiated were elopement and micro, right to now be moving back into full blown production weddings. So what does all of this mean? I have no idea because I'm just speaking off the top of my head, which is so unusual for me. And I would just say that when we talk about old, there's the light at the end of the tunnel, oh, we're getting back to quote normal. It's not a straight line process. That, it's an emotional experience. It's going to play out differently for each of us. And there's a lot to process. And I'm surprised at that. I had not anticipated that.
Well, that's fascinating. I mean, I understand what you're saying. But I guess I'm struck with the concept that I, Clint, am an extremely simple human being. And JP, you, have more depth to your intellectual process. I'm just thinking, Oh, boy, I get to do another wedding. Oh, boy. Oh, boy. Oh, boy. You know what I mean?
JP Reynolds 6:33
All right. You know what? I trust you, let me give you a hug. Let me give you a hug. I can take your mask off. I'll give you a hug. I know that That's what makes us the award winning internationally popular podcast that we are.
That's just funny that you said that out loud. Oh, my gosh, that's funny.
JP Reynolds 7:02
All right. Well, thank you, folks. Yeah, I think that's a great assessment. And I say fist bump.
So it's interesting, the way you describe the seating arrangement. Everybody is visualizing just chairs on this side, chairs on that side, center aisle. And that's that. I wonder, in terms of moving forward, it's almost like for a long time, most of the weddings have that kind of seating arrangement, then every now and then you would get something in the round or, just something else that would be different, because couples are trying to look for something that's going to be more of a personal expression or they just want to have different photos, I guess. But I wonder if moving forward, we're gonna have more of what seems to be traditional, almost emotionally safe for the clients that No, no, this is what we want to do. We're not going to goof around with any of the other seating arrangements or any of that kind of stuff. Let's just go with what's been tried and tested and find that kind of like, emotional stability. It'll be interesting to see moving forward, how that all plays out. You know what I mean?
JP Reynolds 8:26
Oh, I think yes, it will be interesting. And I do think that people are hell bent on resuming photos that resemble on instagram. 2019.
Oh, that's interesting.
JP Reynolds 8:44
I think it is. It is. We postponed our wedding a year, year and a half, two years. We want our photos to look the way that we wanted them to look a year or two years ago, and that is traditional photos. Traditional arrangements, traditional tradition. Right.
So did you find what was the vibe for the wedding that you did? What I heard you say is that it was less than 100 people or 100 people that sort of thing? Yeah.
JP Reynolds 9:30
It was. So also what's interesting is, this is a couple who booked me in late summer 2019.
JP Reynolds 9:46
And I have, as I'm sure you have, a number of clients who it's like, did we go to kindergarten together? It's like, when did we meet? Is that Starbucks even still open? Aren’t you grandparents by now? Thank God I take good notes and write them up in my files because I do find myself having to fall in love with a couple again.
Ah that's so nice.
JP Reynolds 10:37
You know, it's because there was all of that energy and momentum and laughter and good vibe and I love you, you love me, thank you for inviting me rah rah rah, and then we just float away, and you get the email. Okay, we're postponing till this day, are you still available? Yes, good, stay safe. And then suddenly, it's like, oh, what I find like next month also, I'll be getting some of those weddings and
wait, it was a sunny day in August of 2019 When I first laid eyes on you. You look a little different.
You know, I've told you that I don't really want to work that hard. And now that one of the the annoying things about the pandemic and all the rescheduling? And then all that kind of stuff is, exactly a kind of a different version of what you're talking about. Because if people will reach out to me and say, Okay, we're ready to move forward, we've changed the date. And here's the date and da da da. And I have to look at my paperwork and think, Okay, what was the original thing? And what is it now and it gets really confusing. It takes a lot more, I guess, focus and concentration to keep everything straight? Because of Okay, wait a minute. Oh, that was those people. And we were originally going to go here on this date. But now we're gonna go there on that date. And but it's still those people. And I wonder if they're still working with the same event professionals and, you know what I mean?
JP Reynolds 12:11
So in order to have the emotional connection with a couple. It is in some respects, having to kick start it over again. And this was a couple. It was fascinating. This was a couple who hired me without seeing, meeting with me. My favorite kind of shopper and we'd like to hire you. I said, we'll meet. No, just send us the contract. And they really were low key. No fuss, no muss. Lovely. Just so cool. I mean, I blushed from their email, it's like, no, we're just so happy that you're part of our team and blah, blah, blah. And so I never really spent a lot of time with them to begin with. And when I arrived, Oh, it was so warm and effusive and greeting me. And the wedding was a little bit delayed. And I just sat under a tree and listened to the string quartet.
Oh, man. There are certain parts of our life and our job that is just spectacular. You know, to have a moment where you can appreciate the brilliance of another artist and be able to sit in the shade and do all that. That's fantastic.
JP Reynolds 13:44
The other thing, every time the server came by with champagne I was good man. I'll take another.
So it's a very happy ceremony. So the other thing that is interesting is if they were originally scheduled to get married maybe a year ago, over a year ago, whatever it was, yeah. And then my process as you know, we're very collaborative. And now Do they even have the same mindset in regards to what they want in their ceremony?
JP Reynolds 14:14
This couple did. It'll be interesting to see as each of the couples now steps forward.
Right. I tell couples that there's kind of a mental process as we're building the ceremony. Like if they're really ahead of schedule, like if they're eager beavers and they jump on it right away, and they're not going to get married for at least another 10 months or so. What I tell them is okay, just set the ceremony aside. Don't even deal with it for at least a month. Because then when you look at it again, it's going to be with what I call fresh eyes. And because who knows what your mindset is after a month of planning. And where you are and your relationship and da da da, maybe you have a different way of expressing yourself, you know what I mean?
And now that they've had this much time, I'm really curious as I begin to, okay, is that we establish the connection and send them. Okay, here's where we are right now, here's the draft that we have on the table right now, just so you can see what it is. And, the response that I get of there are other edits that they'll make that they probably would not have made 10 months ago, which, I don't know, I like that process. I really like the whole thing, how it evolves, it has its own organic presence, the ceremony. I really liked that.
And then I looked at my calendar, and I was surprised at all the postponements that are now coming due. I mean, May has a bunch of stuff going on, So it'll be interesting how this podcast evolves over the next two months, everybody gets back into the maelstrom, so to speak. Right? Because you've already kind of dealt with that. I mean, you told us about a 200 plus wedding, where all the vendors looked at each other and said, what are we doing?
JP Reynolds 16:17
Yeah, exactly. Well, also, what's interesting is so on Sunday, a very dear friend of mine, had a birthday and she just had dinner, where it's just Stephanie and her husband, Ray, and their two daughters, and one of their daughters, Meredith, this is my god daughter, and her husband, Cole and myself. So we were like our own pod and went over to their home for dinner. And these people are family laughing and being obnoxious and rollicking, good time. And Meredith and Cole had a micro wedding last May.
Right, I remember.
And they're going to have a big wedding in November. And so, Meredith and Cole were, like sparring back and forth at one point. And I said, this is very interesting. I said, because, a lot of these points you'll want to consider and review in preparation for your vows in November. I said, Now that you've been together for a year, you can re evaluate what is it that you really are prepared to vow to each other. And everybody laughed. But then later, I thought that, there's some truth to that, in that if you had a micro wedding last year. And you're going to have a big blowout celebration later this year. And you can call it your public ceremony or your affirmation of vows, or whatever you want to call it. And you're going to be offering vows in front of a large gathering. How does the past year, year and a half impact The words you use in your vows to each other?
Legitimate point? Absolutely. I think that's really powerful, isn't it? Oh, yeah, I tell couples that are doing vow renewals, or whatever the case may be That fits into that kind of mold of, we have a bunch of life under our belts. And whether it's two scenarios, one is if they're doing a renewal of vows, then obviously they know each other and they have a different gravity to the commitments that they're about to make. The other thing is if they've already been married before, to somebody else. And then if you choose to now get married, again, to this person, you have a completely different set of criteria and motivations going into the commitments that you're about to make.
Yeah, yeah, that's true. That's a good point.
But I still, there's a gravity to it. As we spend all these years with all of these couples, there's a charm, there's a different flavor to each couple, depending upon their circumstances. And on rare occasions, is there like only a superficial kind of deal and those are the ones that you and I have talked about. But the other ones where there's a couple with their eyes big and they don't really know what they're getting into, but they're going in with all their hearts and that sort of thing. And then there's the other couples that want something a little more intimate, and each one carries its own gravitas so to speak and how you've spoken many times of the privilege that we have to bear witness to this crossing over, this milestone in these people's lives.
And I agree 100% and I'm just kind of marveling at the how each one has its own specific life and content.
JP Reynolds 20:25
Right. Oh, right. Right. Right. Absolutely, to what you just said. And I think what makes it this interesting in its own particular way, is the fact that the virtually every couple who will be having the big blowout wedding a year after the micro wedding, had not anticipated having two ceremonies. Oh, right. You know, so a vow renewal, there's more of a planning or consciousness involved in it, here. It happened without anybody anticipating that the vow renewal would happen so quickly. And so this will be a generation of couples marked by the pandemic. And 25 years from now, it will be retrospectives in the New York Times and great articles, you and I will probably not be posting them on our Facebook pages. But 25 years from now, a lot of articles on what was it like to be married in the pandemic? And it affects everything?
Yeah, in a way. I mean, it's been rough for a year, it's been rough. But on the other hand, there are silver linings to the cloud. And it is amazing that, the perspective that we have in our own lives to be able to say, Yeah, and I was there. And so, all the other milestones in history. We marveled at our parents who had to live through the depression, World War Two, and, we have our own big struggles that we've had to kind of deal with. It's almost it's weird, because it's upon you before you have time to even prepare for it. It's like, right. I remember that. Well, JP, I think we'll have more stories to tell. Because I have a wedding on Friday.
JP Reynolds 22:34
I have a wedding on Friday, also. Oh, I hope the couple didn't book both of us.
That would be great. Oh, I'm sorry, we were almost out of time. But I did a reality TV wedding where I showed up, And it was not one of the best shows. It was one of the shows that just want to create trouble. And I kind of got hooked into it. And I had a long conversation with a couple before, the day before. And I show up and there's another officiant, and he's got that look on his face. Like what are you doing here?
I ended up just saying fine, it's yours today. You can do it, and I walked away. But yeah, that would be funny if both of us showed up. Oh my gosh. Wouldn't that be fun to tag team? That would be so much fun. Oh, my gracious. Oh, well, we'll put it out there in the universe and see what happens. Yeah. All right, everybody. That's the way this works. The wedding ceremony podcast, we really welcome your comments and your questions and your stories. All you have to do is go to weddingceremonypodcast.com and click on the email us button and that's how you can communicate with us. That's also where you can listen to all of our episodes. They're, archived chronologically, so the most recent one is going to be at the top. But if you really want to make your life easy, then find us in the Apple podcast store or Stitcher or anybody else that accesses those two libraries and then subscribe, look up wedding ceremony podcast, click on the subscribe button. Every time we post a new episode, it automatically come into your world. And if you want to, you can leave us a review because good reviews are how people find us. And remember that JP’S books are in the Amazon store and in the Kindle Store and Amazon. He is a communications expert. thebusinessofconfidence.com is that website. His wedding website is JPRweddings.com. Mine is ReverendClint.com or ClintHufft.com, for all the things that I do. Thank you again to the incredible musicians that play our theme music, the DacapoPlayers.com. That's it for this episode of the wedding ceremony podcast. This is Clint and on behalf of JP, We will see you next time.