Hey everybody, welcome to the wedding ceremony podcast. We talk about anything and everything that has to do with wedding ceremonies. This is episode number 295, recorded on Tuesday, November the 17th 2020. My name is Clint Hufft. And with me is a gentleman that, oh my gosh, we're internationally famous, the one and only JP Reynolds.
JP Reynolds 0:25
There's so much I want to say.
Okay, JP is an accomplished author. His books are in the Amazon store and in the Kindle store in Amazon. He is a communications expert, thebusinessofconfidence.com is that website. His wedding website is Jprweddings.com. Mine is ReverendClint.com or Clinthufft.com For all the things that I do. Now, when I say internationally famous, we got an email, and it's awesome. This is so great. It's from somebody named Carlos with a company called pod status. And the email says, “Hello, how's it going? Hope all is well. I have some cool information that might interest you. Your podcast, wedding ceremony podcast, has good performance in some rankings last 30 days.” And here it is. Here's the deal breaker. This is so awesome. Position 98 in the category personal journals, Italy. I don't know who those other 97 people imposters are in Italy. I don't even know how to say imposters in Italian.
JP Reynolds 1:46
That's because of, I will come clean, It's because of my connections at the Vatican.
Oh, really? I knew it. I knew that would come in handy One day.
JP Reynolds 1:57
Pope Francis listens to the podcast. I have it on good word.
Good word. Yeah. Can we dive into that a little bit?
Well, you can imagine how thrilling This was when I opened this email. And I said to myself, I don't care if it is a bot. We're number 98. In Italy.
JP Reynolds 2:24
Okay, if you are in Italy, and you are listening to us, we embrace you. And send us some pizza.
Yes. Or as you said before we hit the record button. Prove it. Oh, so good. Okay, JP, you said you had maybe something you'd like to chat about?
JP Reynolds 2:53
That's correct. So in the last month or so after like eight months of not doing any weddings. In the last four to five weeks. I've been doing micro weddings from the micro micro size to the large micro size. And there is one in particular that I've not had a chance to share with you. This was a couple of weeks ago.This was about two weekends ago, Clint. You may recall we had like real weather. That we had rain that weekend. All right. Well, I was doing micros, I was microing that weekend. So, these were all couples who were already on the books at various points during the year. And as they stumbled towards the end of the year just decided, we've got to get married. No matter what we're going to do next year or in 2022. We're getting married. So I already had a relationship with these various couples. But on this particular Saturday, two Saturdays ago, I was outside of LA for for a wedding That originally is going to be like 150 hundred and 175 people. They cut it down to about 70 people. Very lovely resort with an event planner whose work I really enjoy and marvel at. And it was overcast, driving down, raindrops falling on the car, it was just a little surrealistic. I mean, I've not done a wedding in eight months. And finally, when I'm doing something of a sizable number, it was the rain. And for anybody who has listened to any number of our podcasts knows how you and I feel about rain, or in particular how I feel about rain. So, get to the venue. And she's done such a wonderful job. It's on a terrace. And I should point out that for the venue, all events, corporate, wedding, everything must be held outdoors, there is nothing can take place inside. So the idea is the ceremony is on the terrace, and then the reception will be on another portico patio type thing that would have ceiling covering, but open sides. So for the ceremony aspect, the event planner, had erected a tent that had a clear roof to it. And it was four open sides to this tent. And I was standing out obviously, where you normally stand. And that's where there was floral decor, and all that good stuff. And it was flush against a wall. I looked and I thought, it's a little nippy, there'll be rain. But we've got ourselves a tent. Okay, so now that I've set that up. Prior to the ceremony, there are 2, 3 things I want to say about this, that remind me of why we love weddings, right? So brides of the ceremony, know we have a holding area, had never met the couple in person, before everything was done by zoom. Because when they first met me, they were out of state.
All right. So I'm introduced to the parents and all that good stuff. And some time goes by and just standing around. And at one point I like hear the groom talking to the bride's mother and father. And he's reviewing with them. What's going to happen in the procession, like father's gonna walk the bride down the aisle, they're going to stop at the first row. And then the mother is going to take a step over and join them. And I'm going to ask who presents this woman and the parents together, we're going to say a word or two, lovely little touch, and then the groom will come over and give them a hug and all that sort of thing. He's describing this to the bride's parents. And I thought, Oh, I might as well go over here, because it's like, this is my show. I go over and I said, You are spot on. I said, but you know what? You don't have to worry about anything. I'll guide you through it. Just enjoy.
The mother says to me, Oh, thank you. She says That's very kind of you. But I do have a question. She's just now what am I supposed to say we do? Or I do? And I said, Oh, you can say whatever you want. I mean, technically it's we do, you'll say it together. But it's fine. Oh, no, because I really want to say I do. That's fine. That works. She says okay, then the husband says, No, we're going to say we do.
I just want to say I loved 20 minutes before the start of the ceremony. These parents aren't like getting into an argument about I do versus we do. And finally, I just looked at them and I said, You know what, it really doesn't matter. I said, I realized we just met. And you're going to have to trust me. I said, because in approximately 15 minutes time, you are going to lose your mind. You will not recognize your daughter when she comes down the aisle, you will not know I from we, when I asked that question, the two of you are going to stare at me. And you will have no words. So just enjoy it. It's that exquisite moment.
Well, you handled that really well. Because while you were telling me when you said, either way, and then the interplay between the father and the mother, I thought to myself, Oh, I am so happy for JP, he is in hog heaven right now, being a part of this conversation. This is just right up your alley. It's so great.
JP Reynolds 10:53
It's fabulous. Fabulous. But she had actually reached out to me a couple of times by email since she was giving me payment and everything. And I said I just have to tell you how much I love this conversation. It because this is only a conversation that the mother could have. This is a true mother of the bride conversation. Just fabulous. Fabulous. No father, the bride, we care about it versus wait, just the exquisiteness of detail.
So then we move on to the ceremony and and there we all are under the tent and it's getting darker, cooler and and it's now time for the vows and the groom delivers his vows just so, Oh, so heartfelt, so exquisite. And then I dramatically hand the bride her vow book. And she begins the vows. And I think she got into like, three sentences. And out of nowhere, it started to rain. Oh, and it was just pellets, pellets on the plastic tarp that was was shielding everybody. But it was just pelting and loud. And people laughed for a moment. And we had a good sound system. She was holding the mic, and she just plowed through. And I was just like, this is dramatic. And we're covered. And of course, what I didn't realize was that we all were covered by the tarp. Except one person. Oh, no. Yes. And however it was where I was standing. I thought I was standing underneath some floral decor. And I guess I was but that decor was not covered by the tarp. And so the rain just started to it was like being in a bathroom shower. And then suddenly, it was like somebody took a bucket. And just like God did on me. Yes, yes. Yes, yes. And there's nothing to do because there is no place indoors that we could even if we wanted it as an option that we could go to. We just was just no option, because pandemic regulations.
You talk a lot about maintaining social distance and, being safe and that kind of stuff. In my mind's eye, the way I envision what you're describing, you're kind of stuck, because you don't want to move closer. You know what I mean? Did it feel like that?
JP Reynolds 14:18
Well, in that moment, you're thinking more rain than COVID. But I did motions. And it was tricky because she's in the middle of the vows. And they were beautiful vows. So they instinctively moved a little bit further into the aisle. And I moved a little bit but it still wasn't enough. And I just looked at everybody and I said, folks, don't worry, we only have 45 minutes left to the ceremony.
And yeah, a got them laughing and the bride continued. And it was like by God we are plowing through, and we still had the rings and the blessing and I have never. I mean, truly drenched. Part of why I'm telling this because it's in our ongoing series of rain stories. But then when we went into air afterwards, when I went back to where they were holding up. And the parents, a couple other people said, Wow, he said, you just were just unflappable. You just plug on, you just be the captain of the ship, you brought us home. And I realized, I really hadn't thought of it that way, or I wasn't conscious of that in the moment. But it made me realize, again, what does it means to be an officiant? It's not simply officiating the ceremony. What does it mean to officiate? It's not simply the words that you're saying. It's that you are there to be the rock and the guide, and you aren't captain of the ship, and it is as Officiant as your job to bring these people from point A to point z.
I agree. And you know, quite honestly, they were lucky that they had you. I mean, really, that's the way I feel about that stuff. Would you describe these things and you? And then you explain how you decided to handle this situation? I always think that couples and the families are so lucky that they had you. The thing about the mom, I have to admit, I don't really understand certain dynamics between like a mother and a daughter.
Now, I did a wedding. And I got called two days before the wedding. Today's Tuesday. So just a few days ago. I got called on Thursday. Apparently the officiant that was scheduled, became ill and took a covid test. But they weren't going to get the results until after the wedding day. And they thought, okay, we better go to plan B. We better find another officiant. And so when the event planner called me, I said what's their emotional connection to the other officiant? I ended up talking to the bride about a half hour later. And she said no, we had hired somebody because we wanted a professional. And I said, Okay, because I would have felt bad if like a personal friend or a family member or whatever. I wanted to be sensitive to that situation. But here's the moment that really struck me when it becomes that dynamic between, like you were talking about, a mother of the bride and that sort of thing.
So, we're lined up, there's only about 25 people there all spaced and we’re at a golf course and it’s beautiful, like terrace that overlooks the course. It just stunning. And I do what I always do, which is I go check with the bride because the couple did not show up until pretty close to start time. And I did get a chance to meet the groom. But then I met the bride for the first time face to face. She looked great, and we were off to the side. Nobody could see us and her dad, she said something about her dad had to go check on something. And so he walked away. And I just started to shoot the breeze. And she mentioned that she just had a conversation with her mom, and she's a little rattled. I say what happened or something along the lines of and she just started to talk about Oh, my mom. And she didn't go into detail. And I will admit the first person I thought of was you JP. But I had to make a call. I had to in my mind. I'm thinking I am really curious. I really want to know what happened. I want to know what the mom said. Apparently the bride thought that it was inappropriate and apparently this is something that the two of them have been through 5 billion times. It's just that this is her wedding day. And so I thought I really want to know but then I looked at the bride and I could tell on her face. She really wanted to put that behind her. She wanted to compartmentalize and not Think about that, because she's about to walk up the aisle and get married. And I thought, Okay, I need to shut up. I need to make this all go away. Let's redirect. And so I just I did what you do to a five year old, I, you know, they're upset about something and you redirect them, you start taking their attention over on something else. So I just started talking about something else that was going to happen in the wedding. And, I could see the relief of the bride in regards to Oh, thank you for giving me something else to think about. Because I don't want to think about what just happened. And that was hard. Because normally I would let people vent. But we literally were two minutes away from walking down the aisle. And so I thought, okay, now's not the time, and I have to put what I want aside. And, everything worked out great. But what is that dynamic? between a mother and a daughter, I don't understand.
JP Reynolds 20:58
You’ve got a wife,
I have a wife And I have a daughter.
JP Reynolds 21:01
You can go into a zoom Breakout Room afterwards. And you're gonna talk to those two?
Well, now, they're best friends. The teenage years are rough. Yeah, but now my daughter's 21. And now she is my wife's champion. She like, oh, god forbid that I do anything, or say anything that she thinks isn't worthy of my mom or of her mom, my wife. Because she comes to her defense and they laugh. So I really I don't get it. I don't understand. I'm really happy that the two of them are going through this phase. But that thing with the bride and her mom, boy.
And you know what I'm talking about right?
JP Reynolds 21:54
Oh, yeah. I love it. It's like to two guys sitting at the bar. Having a beer. shooting the breeze? I'm loving it. Yeah, man.
Oh, my gracious.
Yeah, I think I agree. Listener, if you are expecting another episode next week? Well, I'm sorry. But in America, it's Thanksgiving week.
JP Reynolds 22:34
But in America not in Italy.
They're thankful for number 98 every day. And so we're gonna take the week off next week and we will see you in December. And that's it. Remember JP’S books are in the Amazon store and in the Kindle store in Amazon. For communications coaching that website is thebusinessofconfidence.com. His wedding website is JPRweddings.com. Mine is ReverendClint.com or ClintHufft.com for all the things that I do. All of our episodes are archived on our website. It's weddingceremonypodcast.com, the most recent one is at the top. That also is where the Email button is. And that way you can send us a note. ask us a question. Tell us a story. We love that. Thank you again to Christopher out in New York for telling us some of the stories. I think that's awesome that we will bring up in a later episode. You can subscribe to our podcast if you want that makes it so much easier. Just go to the Apple podcast store, look up wedding ceremony podcast, click on subscribe. And every time we put a new episode into the podcast world, it'll automatically come to you and it's also where you can leave us a review if you'd like to. That's one of the ways that people discover us. Thank you again to the amazing thank you again to the incredible musicians that play our theme music that Dacapoplayers.com. That's it for this episode of the wedding ceremony podcast. This is Clint and I'll be half of JP. We will see you next time.