Hey everybody, welcome to the wedding ceremony podcast. We talk about anything and everything that has to do with wedding ceremonies. This is episode number 302, recorded on Tuesday, February the 16th 2021. My name is Clint Hufft. And with me as the gentlemen that can't wait to hear part two, the one and only JP Reynolds.
JP Reynolds 0:21
You know, you're right. And I think I speak for all of America and lands beyond.
JP is an accomplished author. His books are in the Amazon store and in the Kindle store in Amazon. He is a communications expert. Thebusinessofconfidence.com is that website. His wedding website is JPRweddings.com. Mine is ReverendClint.com or ClintHufft.com For all of the things that I do.
JP was referring to the biggest micro wedding in the world. We started last week. I was telling you about that. Yes. And let's do a little recap. So counting the bride and groom, there were 10 people total, family members, bride and groom. And we already talked about how they had a full band, and not just a wedding band, but like an upper level band that has played a lot of different upscale venues and events. They rented out this estate in Montecito, which as JP pointed out last episode, is where Oprah lives. Harry and Megan. A bunch of celebrities live there. I mean, it is gorgeous. Anyway, and this estate was huge. Multiple houses and grounds. and full florist, flowers all along the pathway leading up to where the ceremony took place. Videographer, photographer, and I don't know what else but just everything, everything for 10 people, including the bride and groom. And so now, let me continue.
JP Reynolds 2:32
There were five event planners, there was the primary one and four assistants for 10 people and also hair and makeup. Have you noticed that the hair and makeup people kind of have their own dress code? You ever noticed that? That hair and makeup people are artists, and they dress accordingly. And because of the fact that their job is pretty much done before the ceremony begins. They don't really appear in front of the guests, most of the time, right? So this one lovely lady from England, London specifically. I mean really nice. Pink Purple hair, and black jeans with big holes on the knees and some kind of loose sweatshirt. Those of you who are old enough to remember the movie Flashdance where Jennifer Beals wore that sweatshirt where the collar was kind of cut out and it kind of hung over one shoulder.
JP Reynolds 3:45
I don't remember.
You don't remember?
JP Reynolds 3:50
I'm sorry. I didn't mean to drag you. But I just wanted to emphasize I don't remember that. Yeah.
The actual cause of your lack of memory is what is amusing. But hey, we'll move on. Okay. Okay. Anyway, I've noticed that over and over again, the hair and makeup people are very clear. In fact, when I was in the nightclub business, we knew that the party started when the local hair salon people walked into the club. They just are of a different breed, and rightfully so. Okay, so all of these people are there to serve. Now, I spoke about this in the last episode, one of the event planner assistants was giving the couple advice. And it was contrary to what I normally have found to be the most effective. And I had to very gently not to interrupt her. Even though my brain was immediately screaming, shut up, shut up, shut up. I had to wait and then say, well, we're actually going to do things just a little bit Different than that. And to her credit, she was really nice. Oh, okay. And then afterwards, just when I went to her and said, you've been working with a lot of non professional officiants, she said, Oh my gosh, she said, it's a nightmare. In fact, there was this one wedding where the couple, just kind of, our friend is going to do it, he doesn't need any coaching. Don't worry about it, it'll all work out great. And then of course, everything went wrong. Everything went wrong. And so I see where you're coming from. And I know, you're just trying to cover your bases and that kind of stuff, but we're gonna be fine. So one of the things that she said was, when they say “I do”, then you'll kiss and walk back up the aisle. And I thought, okay, it's been my experience that when there are Persian, Muslim weddings, that's their sequence, that they finish at the I do. And I think I did a wedding about 10 years ago, and the bride's family was from Colorado, very conservative Christian. And the mother actually sent me a ceremony directly from their hymnal. And this is the ceremony that we want to do. And in that sequence, also, the “I do” was at the end.
Do you have a specific sequence? I mean, that's a little out of order. For me. I like the “I do" to be first, you know what I mean. But I guess not everybody looks at it that way. Do you have an opinion?
JP Reynolds 6:31
I am not quite sure that I even understand that sequence. It's so foreign to me.
JP Reynolds 6:45
Of I do, and then they kiss, and then they walk up the aisle. It's like, I don't get that.
I did a wedding where he was Persian Muslim, and she was Filipino Catholic. That was fascinating. They did it in a nightclub. I mean, the whole thing was fascinating. Anyway, he told me that in his culture, what typically happens is you do the vows between the two of them, and then the ring exchange, and then whatever else honors both of their heritage, but then you get to the end of the ceremony. And it's the I do question. And I asked him first. And he answers right away, I do. Then I turned to the bride, and his whole family and his whole side of the guests, They were ready for what I'm about to explain to you. I look at her and I say, in so many words, would you like to marry this guy? And she says nothing. And then on the Persian side, there's rumblings like, oh, what's going on? And then I asked a second time, and she says nothing. And then that's their cue to just let loose. And it's like 100 hecklers at a Comedy Store, they just unload on the groom. They're yelling stuff, like, she doesn't want to marry you, oh, my God, right? And then I asked a third time, and she says, I do. And then the place erupts, and the celebration begins. And that's that. So I guess that's what this particular wedding planner or event planner assistant had just experienced in regards to that. So I had to say, no, we're gonna do a little different.
JP Reynolds 8:33
Let me just say that what you've raised, makes for an interesting conversation. Today's not the day we're going to have it because we're focused on Montecito. Yeah, I have some thoughts on that. But let's get back.
There were two dogs that were part of the deal. And they were beautiful golden retrievers. I mean, beautiful. male and a female. And those were essentially the children of the couple. But it turns out, it runs through the bride's family, because the father of the bride was just enamored with these dogs and said that they come from the litter of da da da, and it turns out that a sibling of one of those dogs had had surgery recently. And in part of the recovery process, they had dog painkillers.
JP Reynolds 9:39
So, okay, may I ask a question?
Yes, please do.
JP Reynolds 9:43
Yeah. How can you tell us the story with a straight face?
How can you just say what you just said?
It gets better. Oh, listen to the rest of story. So, okay, so the dog that had the surgery was not at the wedding. It was the two dogs that live with the couple right, are golden retrievers. And in my experience, the Golden Retrievers is that they're so people friendly, and they're so mellow and just loving and that kind of stuff. But apparently, that personality description doesn't fit these two dogs, that they're a little hyper. The owners decided to take the pain killers from the other dog and give them to these two dogs to mellow them out. And you know what? It kind of worked. They were relatively cool.
Who told you this? How did you find this out?
The event planner, who was in charge of the dogs, or had to interact whatever, had said, they gave them painkillers to mellow them out.
I think actually, they didn't say painkillers. I'm saying that. Yeah, they drugged them to mellow them out. And it was like just half a pill. But it was just enough to take off the edge of the jittery, you know?
JP Reynolds 11:19
Well, I find a half a pill is usually good enough to take off the edge.
Is it really?
JP Reynolds 11:24
Yeah, yeah. Why? Do you need more than half a pill to take off the edge?
So that's our new t shirt. Half a pill will take off the edge.
JP Reynolds 11:31
I usually take half a pill before the podcast starts.
Dissolve in the beverage of your choice.
Yeah, but continue, please.
So you know those heel protectors that are available to anybody who's wearing a heel and the heel is kind of narrow. And you're going to be walking on grass. And so they have this plastic thing that'll go over the heel to widen the surface. So the heel doesn't sink into the grass. Yeah. I love those things. I think they're very practical. But what I have learned over the years…
JP Reynolds 13:21
Do they work? Do they work for you?
Well, I have to still stay on my toes. But yeah, yeah. Thank you for asking. I love those. But what I've learned over the over the years is that they come in different sizes because heels are different sizes. Right? Right. The event planner, first time I've ever seen this, the event planner had a bag, like a Ziploc bag full of heel protectors, all different sizes. And I forget who was gonna get it. It wasn't the bride, It was like a mom. A mother of the bride or the bride’s sister. It was the bride’s sister. That's fine. And the event planner just said well let's see. And found the ones. They were kind of like color coordinated and there was a blue and pink and green and they were different sizes. Yeah. And found the right size and I thought, why, there you go. That's the next level. For an event planner who's going to do a wedding to have a bag full of these things instead of telling them or maybe she did say you might want to get heel protectors. You're going to be walking on grass but because it was only 10 people and let's say five of them are women. Then Yeah, I got a bag of heel protectors and let's see what fits you and I thought that was great.
JP Reynolds 14:39
That is very impressive.
Yes. So how many JPS would we give that?
JP Reynolds 14:49
I virtual fist bump on that one. Okay, that is that is very, very impressive. I'm gobsmacked.
I don't even want to know what that looks like. So now, there's a thing when you want to give corrective criticism to a person, you do it in a sandwich, you compliment them, then you give them the criticism or the, whatever it is. And then you compliment them again. So that you're not just berating them. Okay, so now I'm going to do that to the event planners. So the event planners
JP Reynolds 15:40
I thought you were gonna do it to me.
No, you're still gobsmacked. I don’t want to pile on.
JP Reynolds 15:49
Okay, so the event planner had the bag, but then the other event planner, the ceremony has begun. And obviously, there's no wedding party, right. And the mom is sitting in the front row of the bride, and then the sister is holding on to her eight month old child, so there really isn't, who's gonna. So then I realized what was going on. And the beautiful thing of the long walk for the processional for the bride and her dad was that I was able to just, everybody's looking and I just walked by the musicians. As officiants, we’re looking out to the guests. So on our left is where the musicians were, the guitarist and the trumpet player, and two event planners who are standing over there. I realized the bride had a long train and a long veil. And so I walked over. And I said, it just occurred to me, who's going to take care of the veil and the train? And the event planner says, I will, or I am. So it was pre determined. That's what I got from that response. And I said, Well, she's gonna be on the other side. Would you like to just kind of sneak over to the other side right now? So you're not crossing in front of everybody when the time comes? Oh, oh, okay. And, so we took care of that. What I thought was, and I go through this a lot, where people don't know what they don't know. And she hadn't thought out the whole thing. You know, in terms of, she was busy talking to her fellow assistant, as opposed to, where should I be to accomplish this task? But she crossed over, and it was no big deal. And she was there when I needed her. So that was great. But it's always surprised. It's reminds me of the ceremony I told you about that was actually a vow renewal. And they were going to do a unity candle. But the Unity candle was blocked by all of the chairs. And I said to the event planner, before everything started, I said, How are they going to get there? Because we're talking about people that were in their 60s? how they're going to get to the candle? Oh, should I remove a row chairs? I said, Well, I don't know how else they're gonna get there. So that would probably be good. So it's just like thinking the whole thing through.
There was a photographer, and an assistant. So the photographer was interesting, nice guy. And I said to him, as I say to almost every photographer, I have no rules, do whatever you want. But here's what's going to happen. Just so you know. And I said, then afterwards, are you going to have the family hang around and do photos with them? Yes. Where would you like them to go, because I can direct them if you'd like me to. And that actually worked. Because he didn't want to do it where the ceremony was going to take place, he wanted to bring them to another part of the lawn. So that worked out good, theoretically. So I also said, if you get what you need of me during the ceremony, that's great. If you want me to pose with them afterwards, that's also great. I don't care, do whatever you want. And he says, okay, and I said, just so you know, I never use those photos of me posing with the couple. I don't, that's not my thing. And between you and me, if I'm going to use a photo for any marketing, or any of that kind of stuff, I want it to be an interactive photo where the couple is having a good experience, not me just standing next to the couple. I don’t get anything from that. Right. So then he said, okay, and I said, so I'll just walk up to you and just ask you, do you need anything from me? And you just tell me.
Now, most photographers, if they decide they want that photo, then they will immediately get me in there as quickly as they possibly can. And they will say, so that we can get that over with for you, because I know you're busy. Which is very, very considerate. I love that. The opposite happened with this wedding, And this photographer. It was fascinating. Now remember, they've only got 10 people. And so I went up to him after I took care of my paperwork. I went up to him and I said, Do you need anything from me? He said, yeah, we definitely want to get you in there. If you can just hang out for a second. I said, Sure. I'm not in a hurry. Well, it seemed like every combination of photo with 10 people, actually eight guests that they could possibly think of they took. And I actually had to say to him during a little break. Do you mind if I jump in there? After I had waited about 20 minutes? And it was just so different than what I'm used to. And I thought, well, I don't know. It made me wonder, how many weddings has this particular photographer done? Because everybody else was on a different level? And have you ever been through that? Where they want to take a photo of you? But I mean, tell me what your your policy is, in terms of the photo?
JP Reynolds 23:44
I think the mistake you made was saying that you're not in a hurry. And I've learned never to say that to a photographer.
What do you say?
JP Reynolds 23:57
First of all, like yourself, I don't do standalone photos with the couple after the ceremony.
Oh, you just don't.
I don't. I don't and I don't like the way I look in photos. I really have a big issue with that. And so I just tell them I'm in the witness relocation program. And I don't need a photo of me standing in the middle with the couple on either side of me.
What if a couple requests it?
JP Reynolds 24:28
If they request it, I'll do it. Okay, but I can't remember the last time a couple wanted to have a picture with Shrek.
You're way too hard on yourself, JP.
JP Reynolds 24:45
Well, thank you, but they don’t need a picture of me. Like yourself, I like the pictures during the ceremony. All right. My issue is, if I can't get the license signed before the ceremony, then I need to get it signed immediately after the ceremony. And I want to make sure that typically if it's the best man and maid of honor or two of the attendants who are going to be signing, that they not get hijacked by the photographer for photos. So I do say to the photographer, I need these people now, because I need to get to another engagement.
Oh, okay. Yeah, I try as hard as I can to get the witnesses if witnesses are necessary for the license, because here in California, we also have a confidential. If witnesses are necessary, I'll say I'd like to get that done before the ceremony. But I always say because I don't want to bother anybody after the ceremony,
JP Reynolds 25:52
I'm the same way. There are times though, when it's not possible. There’s photos, there's emergency, there's whatever.
Right, and we got to start.
There are times where it's just easier, emotionally for people to do what they're doing before the ceremony and just nab them right after the ceremony. Right. But right after the ceremony, they are mine. I let the event planner know that I need them right after the ceremony. And I no longer twiddle my thumbs for 25 minutes waiting to grab people.
Right? Yeah, communication is everything. You know, if I was going to train, if I had an academy for officiants, at the top of the of the criteria would be communication before any of the other stuff, formalities and, handling the couple and any of that kind of stuff. Communication is everything to a professional officiant, in my opinion.
JP Reynolds 26:52
Right. Right. And actually, that's true. I'm biased. It's true of anybody. But yes.
Well, that's right. You're an expert, aren't you? Well, la dee da.
JP Reynolds 27:08
If you want information about me, Clint, you can listen to the introduction.
Oh, that's right. Boy, whoever does that for you does a good job. So that wraps up the biggest micro wedding in the world. And I hope everybody enjoyed that because it took two episodes to lay it all out.
JP Reynolds 27:30
And I love it. It's a new reality show My Big Fat micro wedding.
Oh my gosh, that'd be awesome. Yeah. Oh, my gosh, my big fat.
JP Reynolds 27:39
Because micro weddings are here to stay.
I agree. Well, they were here before. They just didn't have the publicity.
JP Reynolds 27:48
But they didn't have the traction, right or trending the way they are right now.
Right. Right, right. Yeah. But I really do believe and we've talked about how many weddings have been rescheduled. I told you in the last episode, I had one this August that just rescheduled to 2022. And there'll be, because all of those people that want the blowout, they want that big dream wedding because that's what they've always dreamed of. And, so yeah, we have a lot of stuff, a lot of work ahead of us. I know that big light at the end of the tunnel, especially with the vaccines now coming out, and the tunnel is getting shorter and shorter. So I'm pretty excited about all of that.
JP Reynolds 28:28
All right, JP. Alright, Clint. Well, I'm going to go and see if I can track down Flashdance and see what that sweatshirt looks like that they're talking about.
If you only took half a pill before the episode, that means that half a pill is waiting for you.
JP Reynolds 28:45
Oh, thank you, Daddy.
All right, everybody. That's the way this works. Sorta every week, we try to tell you new stories and discuss different things about the wedding ceremony and everything is attached to it. You can listen to all of the episodes a couple of different ways. Number one, go to our website. It's weddingceremonypodcast.com, and all of them are right there laid out chronologically, which means the most recent one is at the top. We also have added transcripts of the episodes and the conversations. And there's a big button there that says email us and if you want to tell us a story or anything else that you would like us to know, then click on that Email button. I check it every single day. And we're certainly going to get back to you as quickly as we possibly can. Remember that the other way that you can listen to the episodes is through the Apple podcast or any of the apps on your mobile devices that access the Apple podcast store. Just look up wedding ceremony podcast, and we'll pop right up and then click on the subscribe button. And then every time we post a new episode, it'll automatically come into your podcast world which is great. We also want to remind you that JP’S books are in the Amazon store and in the Kindle store in Amazon. As previously discussed during this episode of the podcast, JP is an expert in communications. Thebusinessofconfidence.com is that website. His wedding website is JPRweddings.com. Mine is ReverendClint.com or ClintHufft.com for all of the things that I do. Thank you again to the incredible musicians that play our theme music. Dacapoplayers.com. That's it for this episode of the wedding ceremony podcast. This is Clint and on behalf of JP We will see you next time.