Hey everybody, welcome to the wedding ceremony podcast. We talk about anything and everything that has to do with wedding ceremonies. This is episode number 300. Let me repeat that 300, recorded on Tuesday, February the second 2021. That's a lot of two's man. My name is Clint Hufft. And with me is the chuckling gentlemen that we all know and love. JP Reynolds.
Well, Clint, Clint Clint. Happy Anniversary.
Thank you. It the word tricentennial? Is that what we are?
JP Reynolds 0:46
I go with so many things. Um, and you can check our gift shop to find out what we are the
Yes, and curio shop. Yes, life was certainly different 300 episodes ago.
Oh my gracious. I remember the very first episode. Oh wait, before I launch into that, JP is an accomplished author. His books are in the Amazon store and in the Kindle store in Amazon. He is a communications expert. thebusinessofconfidence.com is that website. his wedding website is JP our weddings.com. Mine is Reverendclint.com or ClintHufft.com For all of the things that I do.
I remember the very first episode. And it was obvious to me that when we started talking, this had been on your mind for a long time, way before podcasting was even a glimmer in your eye. I remember clear as day thinking, Oh, boy, he really needs to get this off his chest. And it was emotional blackmail. I remember that clearest thing that you started talking you like, went off on how couples are being emotionally manipulated and I thought well, alright, then here we go.
JP Reynolds 2:08
It's Oh, yeah. Well, you know, 300 episodes later, I would say that that is and remains one of the important areas to be aware of when planning your wedding. Yes, emotional blackmail. Oftentimes exerted by parents. Yeah. Yeah. Well, nothing's changed in 300 episodes. I still think parents emotionally blackmail their children and unhealthy couples engage in emotional blackmail with each other. If you really love me, you will?
Yeah. Yeah. It's fascinating. Sometimes I have to remind people that there is the day after the wedding day. You know what I mean? Because all of this intense focus on the wedding and the wedding ceremony and the wedding day and the planning and everything that goes into it, and then all of the emotional components that are byproducts of that whole process. And sometimes over the long, more than two decades that I've been doing this is to say, just remember, there's the day after, and the day after that, and the day after that. So, just kind of keep it in mind.
JP Reynolds 3:47
And I think that is one of the benefits of micro weddings. It strips away a lot of the psychodrama and a micro wedding becomes much more a special day, in a lifetime of days. And that's interesting, because now I'm thinking, I think there's probably less emotional drama in the era of micro weddings.
Because it's a different type of emotional drama, because people that are so frustrated that they wanted the big wedding, I guess that's what I see. Well, or, it's like, you know how they say that when a couple fights about the toothpaste tube, that the fight really isn't about the toothpaste tube, it's about whatever they've been harboring leading up to that. So that's the way it feels that all of the whatever people are going through because of the pandemic and everything associated with that and whatever they feel politically and all of that and then they decide To get married, and what it feels and tell me if you think, I've experienced this, that a micro wedding is almost like an oasis in the middle of all this stress.
JP Reynolds 5:11
Oh, yes. Yes. I've always said that a wedding is an oasis in its ideal state. However, in the midst of a pandemic, I think these micro weddings are definitely a moment of Oasis relief. Yeah. Yeah, interesting.
The other thing that I want to thank you for, because as we share ideas and tell stories, and that sort of thing, and I think I can speak on behalf of our audience, our listeners, that we've learned so much. It's fascinating. When we first started, we wondered how long we were going to do this, because Are we going to run out of stories? And then what we discovered is that because we're both still doing the job, and because weddings are, as you have so eloquently said, wackadoo, that we keep learning almost every single episode of How do I handle this? And what if this comes up, and here's the way I handle this, and that has been one of the wonderful side benefits for me personally, I mean, as long as I've been doing this in as many weddings and of all different sizes that I've done, the fact that every time we start talking to each other, we end up learning more, which betters our ability to practice our craft, is just one of the great blessings of 300 episodes. So once again, I want to thank you for being my partner with that.
JP Reynolds 6:53
Well, thank you, Clint for for being mine. And that's a really interesting, and I think, critical dimension, mid dimension to being a professional to have that support system in place where a professional can learn through through reflection with another person and through listening to their experiences and stories. And I mean, technically speaking, I've been doing this even longer than yourself in my original capacity. Yeah. It is interesting that after all of this time, I am still in awe of the the power of ritual and ceremony, and still learning to honor and harness the power of ritual and ceremony.
There's a question I don't think I've ever asked you.
JP Reynolds 8:29
The answer's no.
Probably so. So thank you, and good night. Now, what occurs to me. We mentioned in the last episode that that conversation we had in Starbucks, and you said we should have a podcast. And I don't think I ever asked you. Why do you want to have a podcast? Was it a marketing thing? or What was your original impulse for starting a podcast?
JP Reynolds 9:03
Right. See, what has been consistent is over the years who have loved asking me questions that require me, every member If you still don't understand there is no memory here. There may be entertainment in the moment, but there's really not much to long term memory. I would say a magazine that I read faithfully and I have read, I can say from issue number one, I've read from issue number one is the magazine Fast Company.
I love that magazine.
JP Reynolds 9:48
And I suspect that prior to our putting this podcast together, I suspect that Fast Company was previewing the arrival of podcasting as an emerging medium for professionals. And I did see it as a way to distinguish ourselves in a marketplace filled with wonderfully competent and engaging officiants. Because when we started this podcast, Oh, God, I feel so old, but when we started this podcast, podcasts in general were just emerging. And particularly in the wedding industry, there weren't a lot of wedding podcasts devoted to any aspect of the wedding industry. And now, you could have a streaming service devoted to podcasts with a wedding theme.
Oh, yeah, absolutely. You could, you could have its own channel. Absolutely. There's so much content out there.
JP Reynolds 11:33
But when we were doing it. It was a way to really distinguish yourself and the reality is, we had a gimmick. And I say that in the most professional meaning of the word gimmick, in that you and I always said we were a fraternity of two, in that you officiated a bachelor/Bachelorette wedding, and I officiated a Survivor wedding. And at that time, we were the only officiants to have officiated a wedding That was on network TV.
Oh, that's right.
JP Reynolds 12:30
Well, there you go. Now they don't need us because the hosts of the show officiate the weddings. Back then, even back then, that notion of a Survivor wedding or Bachelor/Bachelorette wedding was a really big sweeps week to do. We both appeared on some form of sweeps week on TV.
Well, no, I wasn't. The sweeps months are February, June, September, and November.
JP Reynolds 13:13
Oh my God, I was in the wrong fraternity.
Mine was December the 10th. That's when it went. That's when it was. Yeah, something like that.
JP Reynolds 13:31
All right. The point is, it was primetime. And it was a big to do, right. And on network television. Right. And now, all of these will let you know you can't duplicate that kind of excitement anymore.
No, the first is always the most exciting. Absolutely.
JP Reynolds 13:50
Yeah. Yeah. Very lucky. So in terms of the podcast. What I'm saying here is that you and I had this gimmick. And again, that's not a derogatory term. But I mean, we both have the distinction of this experience, and it's was something that I thought should be leaned into.
Yeah, and it's been rare where we've actually referenced those experiences.
JP Reynolds 14:29
Well, I'm pleased that we've been able to hold when TV was black and white.
Yes. Yes, absolutely. So what I'm curious about now is how you felt the evolution of the podcast where we started. And then I remember what a big deal it was for Episode 100. And I also remember, there are certain kind of like, signature things that our listeners have really hung their hat on. And the biggest one is weather, and more specifically, your reaction to the weather. I always like calling that back, because it was so much fun. How you expressed your frustration with people that insist on getting married in the weather.
JP Reynolds 15:38
Yes, nothing's changed.
Yes. But, what has stuck, that we've gotten some feedback on, is arches. I didn't know they would be that sticky. I didn't think that it would resonate that strongly. But your opinion of arches, apparently, really made an impact on our listeners.
JP Reynolds 15:59
I still have strong opinions.
I am like the Michelin Man of arches. It's a four star arch. That is a once I get that arch of one star
JP’S ratings. Wait a minute, we're onto something there. How many JPS Does that get? I guess three JPS?
JP Reynolds 16:26
Oh, yeah, yeah, no, I still have issues about arches. Yes. And that's why I love but I can't describe this for you. Because I know you have stood in front of it. I've said now that instead of the arch, they have this circular design, right? And they put flowers around it. And so you're standing in front of like a swirly structure that I like so much more than an arch.
Well, whatever doesn't get blown over. That's like, number one for me. Something that's secure.
JP Reynolds 17:04
High five on that? Yes, yeah.
I don't care what it looks like. That's why for a really short window, it just kind of came in and out of fat very quickly, was the flowers that were just on the ground. You know, you just kind of sat or stood in a semi circle of flower arrangement that were on the ground. And when I first saw that, I thought, Oh, please let this continue. Because it was pretty. Any of the photos that were above the knees of the participants didn't see any of the flowers on the ground. That was the only kind of like, drawback on that. But I thought oh my gosh, that makes so much sense. And that's so practical. But that brings me to, I'm working on some projects now on how to in regards to weddings and things. And I think I told you the story of a wedding that was supposed to be outside in a beautiful resort, but then it was raining really hard. So they brought it inside. And they were in this like Wait,
JP Reynolds 17:58
Why did they go inside just because was raining? Wimps.
I know, there's more to that story. So what I want to focus on here, though, is that they had about oh my gosh, they had at least 200 guests. And they brought it into, not a ballroom. But like a really big meeting room that had glass windows because this was near the ocean that looked out. And then there was a terrace outside. And so they had a double door that opened up. And the way they figured it out is that they arrange the chairs in like a semi circle. So everybody was kind of facing the double doors. And the idea is that the couple would come out with me because there was an overhang so that we weren't directly in the rain, except for Mr. officiant here, the back of me just got soaked because the wind was blowing anyway, never mind that. So what I did when I first got there, we get there early, we check everything. I went immediately to the side of the chair arrangement on the various sides. And I sat down and I looked and I said, because the planner was there, I said, if we're outside, a third of the people who have been invited to observe this are not going to be able to see the couple. I mean, come here. Look. And I said, so here's the question. The question is, what's the most important thing to the bride? The guest experience or the photos? And I kid you not JP I didn't even get to the period of that sentence. And the planner said, photos. And I said, Well, okay, then that's that. And so the people that can't see, they're just going to have to hopefully stay quiet. Because the other thing that I've noticed with live events is that if people can't see and can't hear, then they think it's okay to start talking. And then that just kind of ripples through everybody else and it becomes awkward. Gotta be annoying. Which is why I think, if you're going to start planning a wedding, then especially the ceremony, everybody has to see and they have to hear or else they just don't feel like you care about them. And, then they don't care about you. And, it just turns into a potential nightmare. But what's most important though, the photos or the guests lets you know that’s square one, right? Especially in the area era of social media, right.
JP Reynolds 20:28
Which, again, is why I love micro weddings.
JP Reynolds 20:32
Because everybody can see a micro wedding. Yep.
The other thing I like about those really small weddings is sometimes when you go to the beach, or something like that, there isn't like a formal setup. You know, with elopements and micro weddings. Sometimes they wanted to be just in the environment. But they didn't have a specific setup. You know how normally when there's an arch or structure, we know where we're going to stand and we know where people are watching. But sometimes when you're in that open area, you really kind of are free forming everything. And I love turning to the photographer and say, okay, just set us up the way you want. So that you get what you need. Because it's all kind of freeform. So we might as well make sure it's right for you. Because you know, the photos are what they're going to have the day after and the day after. I like being able to look at a professional, like a photographer or a videographer and say just put us where you need us.
JP Reynolds 21:34
And I know that they're very grateful that we have that attitude. Yeah.
Oh my gosh, yes. I have gotten to the point where I can't go on any social media, YouTube or any of that kind of stuff and and observe wedding fails. It breaks my heart. I just can't do it. I skip over all of that stuff. Like, are you confessing this?
JP Reynolds 22:08
I've never expected anything in the last 300 episodes. So I want to give you a hug, bro. Otherwise, I'm sitting here and if I'm not in the picture. I'm not interested.
That's going on the T shirt. If I'm not in the picture, I'm not interested.
JP Reynolds 22:38
It's like, yeah, I mean, I have five God children. And I have two nieces. And it's like, when they were little, you're a parent. And so, parents always talk about, you'll be having all these cute little baby. I never noticed any cute little baby. It's like, I have seven cute babies in my life. And I really don't care. I don't and nobody's baby is as cute as one of my seven babies, God children or nieces. And people would say, that's so cold hearted of me. But it's like, No, I've got the seven cutest babies around and let me baby sit and go to the Grove and show off the kid and pretend it's mine.
And this part of the conversation is so emblematic of 300 episodes. This is what Fast Company had in mind 300 episodes ago, advocated that people should podcast.
Well, remember, there's the 300 podcast, and then there's a podcast after that.
JP Reynolds 24:01
Yeah, yes, right. Fair enough. Well said.
All right, everybody. There you go. That's the way this works. We were thinking of calling it the wedding ceremony podcast, or “we're completely off the rails” podcast. But we decided to stick with wedding ceremony, it seemed more explanatory. If you want to reach out to us, we really like that, go to our website, weddingceremonypodcast.com and click on the email us button. And next episode, we have a big thank you to give to one of our listeners. But I wanted to save it until 301 and give it that kind of its own moment in the spotlight. So there's a teaser for the next episode. Also, on that website is all of our podcast episodes. They're all arranged chronologically, the most recent one is at the top or you can listen in the Apple podcast or any of your mobile apps that access the Apple podcast or just go to weddingceremonypodcasts.com. Click on the subscribe button and then every time we post a new episode it automatically come into your world which is awesome. Remember that JP’S books are in the Amazon store and in the Kindle store in Amazon. For communications coaching thebusinessofconfidence.com. His wedding website is JPRweddings.com. Mine is Reverendclint.com or ClintHufft.com for all of the things that I do. And we also want to give a shout out to the incredible musicians that have been playing our theme music from the very very beginning The Dacapoplayers.com. That's it for Episode Number 300 of the wedding ceremony podcast. This is Clint and on behalf of JP, We will see you next time.