#303
Clint  0:00  
Hey everybody, welcome to the wedding ceremony podcast. We talk about anything and everything that has to do with wedding ceremonies. This is episode number 303, recorded on Tuesday, February the 23rd 2021. My name is Clint Hufft. And with me is a gentleman that keeps me on track when I stray off the hip the and with me as a gentleman.


JP Reynolds  0:24  
I'm with you. I'm with you. When people would say I'm a gentleman. My name is JP Reynolds.


Clint  0:36  
I was gonna edit that I don't think I have now I like that. JP’S accomplished author. His books are in the Amazon store and in the Kindle store in Amazon. He is a communications expert. The businessofconfidence.com is that website. His wedding website is JPRweddings.com. Mine is ReverendClint.com or ClintHufft.com For all of the things that I do.
JP, I was really lucky that Sunday, two days ago, I got to do an elopement, but it was a zoom deal.


JP Reynolds  1:13  
Oh, okay. I'm officially jealous.


Clint  1:17  
Oh, well, then let me tell you a little bit more.


JP Reynolds  1:21  
Oh, I've got questions. Yes.


Clint  1:22  
Oh, good. Okay, okay. Okay. So why? Are you going to do one?


JP Reynolds  1:28  
No, it's my bucket list. My bucket list is not a very full bucket. But that is one of the items in my bucket list to do a zoom wedding.


Clint  1:37  
Your bucket isn't full, because you haven't accomplished much on your bucket list, or you don't have many items on the list itself.


JP Reynolds  1:46  
I don't have many items on the list itself. But you'll recall, we talked about zoom weddings a little bit when I almost I had a chance to do a zoom wedding in New York and then found out because I wasn't in New York, I couldn't do the New York scene. Right.


Clint  2:00  
Right. Right, right.


JP Reynolds  2:02  
But now here you are. So yeah, tell me.


Clint  2:04  
Well, first of all, the venue was awesome. It's called the SmogShoppe. Now, those of you who are listening from outside of Southern California, actually outside of LA, would say to yourself, what is that, and it's spelled exactly the way you would think s m o, g. Sh, O p PE, I guess to kind of add a little something to it. And it used to be an automobile repair place. I mean, I'm almost positive. 


JP
That's what it used to be. 


Clint
Yeah, yeah. And they've converted it into this beautiful venue. I mean, gorgeous. It's got an outdoor patio. It's got lots of foliage and greenery. And it's just open and it's beautiful. And then you walk into, I don't know what you call this, you're really good with words like this. I don't know what you call it when the doors have been flown wide open, and an entire wall is open between the indoor and the outdoor. Is there a name for that open space that the transition as opposed to you're not walking through a doorway, necessarily.


JP Reynolds  3:13  
I feel like I'm doing a crossword with you now. I don't know. But let me say that What I like about this venue, is that, yes, it's beautiful. Yes, they've done some remodeling. But they have kept the structure of the building. And they've kept that you're in a funky place. Yes, you can walk in and imagine very easily what it looked like when it was functioning as an auto repair shop.


Clint  3:51  
Well, one of the ways that it's easy to imagine that is because the on the wall, how can I put this, there's one section where if you go up the stairs, you get to the bridal suite. And then below that are the restrooms. And, then what I noticed is that I think they have their offices back there underneath. But on the wall above the restrooms, they have at least 200 automobile fan belts, those black belts that go inside the engine of your car, those are all hanging up there. Then when you go into the restrooms, there's old posters, and it's fantastic. But having said that, because I think most people would start imagining like, Ooh, it's probably kind of grimy and dirty. No, it's spotless. And the big room where people gather and big long tables and benches and is just spotless. It's immaculate. It's a beautiful place. I've done a bunch of weddings there with some, I guess what would be considered high profile event planners or whatever. The point that I'm making is that their clientele could go anywhere. But they go here because it's funky, but immaculate all at the same time. Does that make sense?


JP Reynolds  5:10  
I described to you the people, quite funky but immaculate.


Clint  5:20  
That reminds me of that movie, The Beatles, their first movie Hard Day's Night. Boy, this is generational. But Paul's grandfather, when everybody looks at him, he's very clean. He's very clean. Those of you that have ever seen that movie as you'll get, okay, so I know. Thank you. Thank you very much. So regarding the zoom thing, it was only the couple, no family, no wedding party, just a couple with an event planner, and photographer. And I think it was combo video-DJ, kind of a guy, obviously, there was no party, per se. But they ran the zoom through him. And so he had a couple of laptops. And what I noticed is there were iPhones on tripods, and I saw two of those. But then in the main room, there was a huge, huge screen, I don't even know like, it took up most of the wall. And that's what the zoom feed was playing on. So he was able to


JP Reynolds  6:28  
Okay, this is a little different than I was imagining. So the zoom wedding, so I'm a little confused. On that zoom screen. Were you able to see the guests who were zooming in from around the country?


Clint  6:43  
Yes. Yeah. And the way they did it is they started the zoom feed 15 minutes before we started the ceremony. Gotcha. And so everybody got a chance to log in and see everybody else and say hello, and that kind of stuff. But they didn't see the couple until they came downstairs and then walked to the ceremony site, which was outdoors. And then the iPhones were on cameras, and I told the camera guy, I said, You do whatever you want, anytime you want, wherever you want, I don't care. This is all about you. And we're just going to have a ceremony. So whatever you want to shoot. I talked a little bit to him and to the event planner about well, okay, at first they're going to have me like not centered, though, the groom was really concerned about social distancing. When I talked to him on the phone, or we did a, I think we might have done a zoom thing. Anyway. And so okay, fine, that's fine. I wear a mask all the way up until the ceremony begins. And I take it off, but it turns out, I was at least 12 to 15 feet away from them anyway. Hmm. Yeah. That what happened was it was that time of day, it was around noon. And so there was shade on half of the patio. And so the event planner said, I think we're going to put you in the shade over here. And then they're going to be over there in the sun. But it turned out the timing was perfect, because there was some kind of overhang or tree or something that shaded both of them. Right when we started the ceremony. So from the photographer standpoint, there wasn't that mottled sunshade from if you're looking through tree leaves. It was even, which makes for great photos anyway. And they had a single microphone. As you know, the way I work, they build their own ceremony, they chose to only say I do. That's it. And so they exchanged rings, but nothing was said. And they had two poems, two readings that they wanted me to do with the idea that everybody's watching, so it's not like it's just me and them. There is an actual audience. We've talked about this before, when you're doing zoom. The thing is, is that I didn't have the luxury, I never saw a camera on me. I thought he was going to have one camera that was locked down on where they were going to be standing and I said how close are you going to get? He says I'm going to stay wide just to keep it simple for everybody. I said okay. That means that it was going to be wider than the two of them during the entire ceremony. But then he had a second one that was going to catch them coming down the stairs, kind of like their processional. And then I thought that he said that I'm going to reposition that and turn it on to you because people are going to want to see you. But I never saw that. I never saw that phone turned around on me. And I had to, because it was different and I'm so used to playing to the camera. I had to say to myself, there's no camera on me. Just focus on them. And let's do the ceremony. But it was so sweet. So the groom had both of the rings. And then I said before we started, I was talking to the bride and I always go through this thing with the rings. You know, where are the rings? And then are you wearing your engagement ring right now? Yes. And then I have to kind of shortcut because most brides get all this advice about what they're supposed to do with the ring. You know, put it on the other finger or just put the wedding band on the outside or whatever. And I always go through this, well, here are your options and do whatever you want to do. And I said, when you wear them after today, are you going to wear them as a set on one finger? She said, No, I think I’m going to wear the engagement ring on my right hand. And the wedding band on my left hand. I said, Oh, well, do you want to just put the engagement ring on your right hand right now? And then he'll just put the band on your finger? She said, Yeah, I think I would like that. I said, Well, there you go. If that's the way you're going to live your life, then that's what you should do. That's great. I think it's important to kind of cut through the baloney. Because some people are just so concerned about the rings during the ceremony. Why are you laughing?


JP Reynolds  10:54  
Well, you are right, about the rings. And I always say you want to do what is easiest. I always tell them in the ceremony, you will not recognize the rings, you won't know where they came from, you will not know who bought them. You’ll look at them and think they're lovely. You may even think I bought them for you. Please understand I did not. Do whatever works for you. You go girl. Um, and then, in a moment of reassurance, I oftentimes suggest they speak to the event planner, because I think it's a kind of a girl on girl, woman on woman conversation to have.


Clint  11:50  
It's interesting you say that, because I think that sometimes that's what gets in the way. Because what I say to couples, I mean no disrespect to anybody, but this is going to be disrespectful. What I say to couples is you're going to get all kinds of advice, advice in air quotes, right? And I said people mean well, they really do. But most of the time, they have no idea what they're talking about. They're just telling you what other people have told them. And, so my job is to let you know what all of your options are. So you can choose what feels right for the two of you.


JP Reynolds  12:22  
Right, right. Absolutely.
I was just gonna say I do think there is a, when you're dealing with a really good event planner, there is a different kind of relationship that develops between the couple and the event planner, as opposed to what develops between me and the couple. Right. So, for instance, in terms of choreography for the processional, I will, based on the information they've given me, make my preliminary suggestions. And then I say to them, that this is all up to the event planner, in the sense that everybody has their own style, they're going to make their own suggestions to you. This is just a preliminary, to give you a sense of how it can flow. So there are certain aspects where I defer to the event planner.


Clint  13:25  
Right.


JP Reynolds  13:27  
Yeah. And in terms of the rings, you're right, and I do know what you mean. And I have said that to them, that people are going to get a lot of conflicting information, etc, etc, etc. But with the rings, and the fact that and I don't want to belabor this, because we're kind of spending a lot of time on a smaller aspect of it. But, it indicates how people can lose their mind, in every aspect of the wedding is brides obsess about the rings. And I do ultimately say, what ever is going to be most easy for you. Do that.


Clint 14:09  
Right. So you're not worried about it.


JP Reynolds  14:12  
Just make a decision. Do it. It doesn't matter. Doesn't matter.


Clint  14:19  
I guess what we're both trying to do is comfort them so they can just relax and enjoy their wedding ceremony. What I try to keep saying is don't worry. I'll guide you through everything. The subtext of that is your brain isn't going to be working.


JP Reynolds  14:34  
I say to them, I just need you to get to me. And once you get to me, you don't have to think about anything. Yeah, I said, all you have to do is hold hands and look good for Instagram, and I'll take care of everything.


Clint  14:54  
You say that to them?


JP Reynolds  15:02  
Yeah. Oh heads up. Think you might be a little surprised at what I say to my couples.


Clint  15:05  
Well, I was just thinking that that's our new t shirt. Just hold hands and look good for Instagram.


JP Reynolds  15:11  
That's it. That's it.


Clint  15:17  
Well, because they only said I do. There was a second microphone. And there was nobody else to like, fortunately, the bride had one of those little trains, where it doesn't really need to be straightened or anything, it just kind of it kind of lays and flows is a little bit of a dragging behind. But it's nothing that you know what I mean. So that took all of the heat off of the event planner, she doesn't have to do a veil, there wasn't any of that kind of stuff. However, it turned out the event planner was in charge of the microphone. Normally, when everybody's right in front of me, I just kind of take care of everything. I move a mic when I need to, I do whatever I need to do in this particular scenario, because of social distancing. I didn't have any control over any of that. I had to stay where I was. And so there was a microphone set up. But I had already talked to the to the event planner and said, all they want to say is I do. She says, I know. I said so you know what, we don't even need that microphone there. When we get to that part of the ceremony, I'll just take a second and you just put the microphone there. And then they'll say I do and then we'll pull it right back out. You know, for the photos over there.


JP Reynolds  16:30  
Well, let me ask you in terms of when you were planning the ceremony with them, and they said, they just wanted to do I do. Did you review with them and gently encouraged them to consider saying the vows for each other?


Clint  16:54  
Yes and no. So what happens is I give a bunch of information, I give like a big document that has a bunch of ceremony choices, right? Yeah. And then they send it back to me. And then we kind of go through it. So what I noticed when they sent me, every couple is different. Sometimes they'll just do like a rough draft. And then it's takes a lot of work. But sometimes a couple will just send me a ceremony. And so I looked at it and I wrote back to them. I said just to be clear, it looks like the only thing you're going to say to each other is I do. And the response, return email was That's correct. That's the only thing we feel comfortable with. We're going to exchange love letters at another point during the day. And, that kind of a thing. And I thought, all right, cuz I've done those ceremonies before.


JP Reynolds  17:45  
Well see, that's interesting, because when in my conversation with a couple and remind them that they have four options for doing the vows.


Clint  17:57  
Four.


JP Reynolds  17:59  
Yeah, well, the first is I do, I do. The second is they either repeat a traditional vow after me, or I have them printed on the card and they gift each other with the vow. The third is they write their own personal vows, right? And the fourth is a hybrid where they write personal words, and then conclude those personal words with the traditional vow.


Clint  18:34  
Okay, so I'm hesitating for just a second because I think it depends on the content of their personal vows. What I just heard you say is that maybe you don't always do an I do, but they do personal vows to each other. But I thought in a previous episode, you said, no, we have to make this something, I forget the words you use, but like for real.


JP Reynolds  18:57  
In the personal vows, what I was emphasizing was there has to be, I take you as my husband, I take you as my wife.


Clint  19:03  
Okay, we're on the same page. If that's included in the personal vows, then they've made the commitment and they've said husband and wife and so it's all good. They don't have to do I do.


JP Reynolds  19:14  
Right. But here's the thing. When sometimes people say to me, we just want to do I do. And I will be upfront on this podcast and say I don't like just I do because if a car horn honks outside the SmogShoppe, the I do vanishes. You're at the beach, a seagull goes overhead and squacks, The I do is gone. And I think that if you are doing what you're doing in this marriage, in this wedding ceremony, that no matter how shy you are, I encourage couples to say the vows to each other. Now, I don't force them to do it. But I do take time to review their options with them and explore their level of comfortableness. And I will say that I could probably count on one and a half hands. Number of couples who have only said I do.


Clint  20:24  
Is that seven or eight, I'm just doing the math in my head. It's an odd number.


JP Reynolds  20:28  
Depending on how much where my hand was. But yeah. Well, it's just because I think it is more meaningful and warmer. I have a couple whose wedding is coming up in April and who upfront said to me, we are very shy. I think there was a part of me, that's an introvert. When I was growing up, I was socially awkward, a geek and nerd, pathetic.


Clint  21:15  
You were fine Until you said pathetic.


JP Reynolds  21:17  
I was pathetic. I was pathetic. Somebody say I was still in, but it was pathetic. So I do have great empathy for people who say to me that they're shy, and I coach people who were shy and had to speak. I mean, that's what I do when in the business of confidence. So I will respect that. But this couple in April, they wanted to do just I do. And I spoke to them about this, and and laid out their options. And we explored Why just the I do and I very gently put this other option before them. And they're they're going to say the vows to each other.


Clint  22:08  
Oh, okay.


JP Reynolds  22:11  
Because, there are many versions of the traditional vows. Actually, the simplest version of the traditional vows happens to be the Catholic version. And it's really the only simple thing about the Catholic Church. And that's a professional assessment. But the Catholic vow is, I John take you Mary to be my wife, I promise to be true to you, in good times, and in bad, in sickness and in health. I will love you and honor you all the days of my life. So that's really like two and a half sentences. And my thought is no matter how shy you are, to gift each other with those two, two and a half sentences, I think is a gift.


Clint  23:06  
Oh, I agree. Absolutely. I think we're kind of saying the same thing. I think what you do is you offer them options, which is what obviously, that's what I do. That's the whole process and you offer them options. And then you explore it, you touch on it, you explain what your things are, but then ultimately, you'll go with whatever they want to do.


JP Reynolds  23:27  
Yes, I will respect their vow Choice, right? If they just say we wanted just i do, I do spend time exploring what's behind that I just want to do an I do?


Clint  23:44  
Oh, sure. Yeah. Most of the time, the couple will explain. I bring it to their attention, I noticed that all you're saying is I do. That's all I say. I see what you're doing. I'm just want to bring it to your attention. Is that really what you know? Because sometimes couples will send me something like a first draft or whatever, they're kind of wondering around, they can't see the forest for the trees type of deal. And so when I get that I'll see things that are omitted. Things that they've skipped over, things that are normally in a regular ceremony and my job I think is just to bring it to their attention and say, I noticed that you're only doing this. Did you also want to include this? So I think we do exactly the same. Well, we do similar things towards the same end which is are you sure that's all you want to do?


JP Reynolds  24:32  
I may explore it a little more deeply.


Clint  24:38  
Yeah, I think it sounds like you do.


JP Reynolds  24:39  
Yeah, in that you need to submit a document explaining why you're doing it.


Clint  24:44  
Yes. I'd like a triplicate.


JP
Notarized. 


Clint
That's the upper cross punch that I was waiting for. Oh my goodness gracious. Well, then the caveat for those of you that are curious with the zoom wedding is that when the ceremony was done, then they walked back into the building where the big screen was. And then the video guy brought one of those iPhones around so that now they have their own little box amongst all the zoom boxes. And they got to hear everybody say congratulations, and oh my gosh, and so they had that interaction, because while they were getting married, they couldn't see anybody because it was in another room. But it was really heartwarming. It was really special.


JP Reynolds  25:36  
This guy, this zoom Meister, yeah. He must have pivoted at some point last year, and provides this as a service.


Clint  25:55  
Yeah, I think so. Yeah.


JP Reynolds  25:57  
Right. Because over the last year, most of the people who have, quote, zoomed their wedding did it in, piecemeal, do it yourself fashion, all iPad and iPhones and all that sort of thing. But these folks really went ahead and hired somebody who was able to offer them a true professional zoom wedding.


Clint  26:31  
Right. One of my other podcast is the mitzvah party podcast. And we've been doing it for a few years, and when the pandemic hit, it was similar to what you and I did, we took a little break to kind of figure out what's going on. And then our focus is on the party, as opposed to the ceremony that we do here. This is the party after the bar mitzvah ceremony, we've been focusing on that because my co host owns an entertainment company. And it's been fascinating JP over the last eight months to listen to companies talk about how they not only pivoted, but they kind of like push the envelope in terms of, cuz it's a similar type of deal, we have to have a ceremony with these kids. And then we have the party afterwards. And then how people have been trying to adapt, because a wedding ceremony is a really important deal. But a bar mitzvah is also a really important deal in the life of a family. And so it's the same time and you'd be amazed JP, with all the stuff that's out there, the technology that's been incorporated and Now, another thing, there are virtual spaces where people will go in and they'll have an avatar, and they'll have parties and ceremonies and all this stuff. But it's all virtual online as if you're in a game, right?


JP Reynolds  27:40  
No, it is interesting. It's fascinating to see the progression from, let's say, last March, to this March, because last March, the wedding you just described could not have taken place in the way in which it did.


Clint  27:58  
Right? Because people had to be get up to speed. And yes, there's all the iterations of you know, wait, I can't do anything. Okay, maybe I can do a little bit. Okay. Oh, wait a minute now. Yeah, it's fascinating. And I don't think it's gonna stop. I think that as things start to open back up again, all of the experiences that have been developed, technically and professionally are going to be it's like you said, there's, it's gonna be a new normal, and we don't even know exactly what that is, but I'm really excited to see it. Right.


JP Reynolds  28:31  
Hi, Clint.


Clint  28:32  
So that's it, JP.


JP Reynolds  28:35  
All right. Well, thank you for being your wonderful, funky and immaculate self.


Clint  28:43  
You're welcome. I'm very clean. Oh, there you go, everybody. That's the way this works at the wedding ceremony podcast. And please realize that we welcome you to reach out to us just go to our website, weddingceremonypodcast.com, click on the Email button, do it. I mean, we'd love that when you reach out to us and tell us a story or ask us a question or whatever it is, that's on your mind. That also is where you can listen to our episodes. They're archived chronologically, the most recent one was at the top. My recommendation is that you look us up in the apple podcasts because that way you can subscribe to the podcast and every time we post a new episode, it'll automatically come into your world. And if you would like to leave us a review, that would be wunderbar, which means really good. JP’S books are in the Amazon store and in the Kindle store in Amazon. He is a communications expert. The businessofconfidence.com is that website. His wedding website is JPRweddings.com. Mine is ReverendClint.com or ClintHufft.com For all of the things that I do. Thank you again to the incredible musicians that play our theme music the dacapoplayers.com. That's it for this episode of the Wedding ceremony podcast. This is Clint and on behalf of JP We will see you next time.

#302
Clint  0:00  
Hey everybody, welcome to the wedding ceremony podcast. We talk about anything and everything that has to do with wedding ceremonies. This is episode number 302, recorded on Tuesday, February the 16th 2021. My name is Clint Hufft. And with me as the gentlemen that can't wait to hear part two, the one and only JP Reynolds.


JP Reynolds  0:21  
You know, you're right. And I think I speak for all of America and lands beyond.


Clint  0:33  
JP is an accomplished author. His books are in the Amazon store and in the Kindle store in Amazon. He is a communications expert. Thebusinessofconfidence.com is that website. His wedding website is JPRweddings.com. Mine is ReverendClint.com or ClintHufft.com For all of the things that I do. 
JP was referring to the biggest micro wedding in the world. We started last week. I was telling you about that. Yes. And let's do a little recap. So counting the bride and groom, there were 10 people total, family members, bride and groom. And we already talked about how they had a full band, and not just a wedding band, but like an upper level band that has played a lot of different upscale venues and events. They rented out this estate in Montecito, which as JP pointed out last episode, is where Oprah lives. Harry and Megan. A bunch of celebrities live there. I mean, it is gorgeous. Anyway, and this estate was huge. Multiple houses and grounds. and full florist, flowers all along the pathway leading up to where the ceremony took place. Videographer, photographer, and I don't know what else but just everything, everything for 10 people, including the bride and groom. And so now, let me continue.


JP Reynolds  2:32  
Please,


Clint  2:33  
There were five event planners, there was the primary one and four assistants for 10 people and also hair and makeup. Have you noticed that the hair and makeup people kind of have their own dress code? You ever noticed that? That hair and makeup people are artists, and they dress accordingly. And because of the fact that their job is pretty much done before the ceremony begins. They don't really appear in front of the guests, most of the time, right? So this one lovely lady from England, London specifically. I mean really nice. Pink Purple hair, and black jeans with big holes on the knees and some kind of loose sweatshirt. Those of you who are old enough to remember the movie Flashdance where Jennifer Beals wore that sweatshirt where the collar was kind of cut out and it kind of hung over one shoulder.


JP Reynolds  3:45  
I don't remember.


Clint  3:49  
You don't remember?


JP Reynolds  3:50  
I'm sorry. I didn't mean to drag you. But I just wanted to emphasize I don't remember that. Yeah.


Clint  3:58  
The actual cause of your lack of memory is what is amusing. But hey, we'll move on. Okay. Okay. Anyway, I've noticed that over and over again, the hair and makeup people are very clear. In fact, when I was in the nightclub business, we knew that the party started when the local hair salon people walked into the club. They just are of a different breed, and rightfully so. Okay, so all of these people are there to serve. Now, I spoke about this in the last episode, one of the event planner assistants was giving the couple advice. And it was contrary to what I normally have found to be the most effective. And I had to very gently not to interrupt her. Even though my brain was immediately screaming, shut up, shut up, shut up. I had to wait and then say, well, we're actually going to do things just a little bit Different than that. And to her credit, she was really nice. Oh, okay. And then afterwards, just when I went to her and said, you've been working with a lot of non professional officiants, she said, Oh my gosh, she said, it's a nightmare. In fact, there was this one wedding where the couple, just kind of, our friend is going to do it, he doesn't need any coaching. Don't worry about it, it'll all work out great. And then of course, everything went wrong. Everything went wrong. And so I see where you're coming from. And I know, you're just trying to cover your bases and that kind of stuff, but we're gonna be fine. So one of the things that she said was, when they say “I do”, then you'll kiss and walk back up the aisle. And I thought, okay, it's been my experience that when there are Persian, Muslim weddings, that's their sequence, that they finish at the I do. And I think I did a wedding about 10 years ago, and the bride's family was from Colorado, very conservative Christian. And the mother actually sent me a ceremony directly from their hymnal. And this is the ceremony that we want to do. And in that sequence, also, the “I do” was at the end. 
Do you have a specific sequence? I mean, that's a little out of order. For me. I like the “I do" to be first, you know what I mean. But I guess not everybody looks at it that way. Do you have an opinion?


JP Reynolds  6:31  
I am not quite sure that I even understand that sequence. It's so foreign to me.


Clint  6:43  
Which sequence


JP Reynolds  6:45  
Of I do, and then they kiss, and then they walk up the aisle. It's like, I don't get that.


Clint  6:55  
I did a wedding where he was Persian Muslim, and she was Filipino Catholic. That was fascinating. They did it in a nightclub. I mean, the whole thing was fascinating. Anyway, he told me that in his culture, what typically happens is you do the vows between the two of them, and then the ring exchange, and then whatever else honors both of their heritage, but then you get to the end of the ceremony. And it's the I do question. And I asked him first. And he answers right away, I do. Then I turned to the bride, and his whole family and his whole side of the guests, They were ready for what I'm about to explain to you. I look at her and I say, in so many words, would you like to marry this guy? And she says nothing. And then on the Persian side, there's rumblings like, oh, what's going on? And then I asked a second time, and she says nothing. And then that's their cue to just let loose. And it's like 100 hecklers at a Comedy Store, they just unload on the groom. They're yelling stuff, like, she doesn't want to marry you, oh, my God, right? And then I asked a third time, and she says, I do. And then the place erupts, and the celebration begins. And that's that. So I guess that's what this particular wedding planner or event planner assistant had just experienced in regards to that. So I had to say, no, we're gonna do a little different.


JP Reynolds  8:33  
Let me just say that what you've raised, makes for an interesting conversation. Today's not the day we're going to have it because we're focused on Montecito. Yeah, I have some thoughts on that. But let's get back.


Clint  8:53  
There were two dogs that were part of the deal. And they were beautiful golden retrievers. I mean, beautiful. male and a female. And those were essentially the children of the couple. But it turns out, it runs through the bride's family, because the father of the bride was just enamored with these dogs and said that they come from the litter of da da da, and it turns out that a sibling of one of those dogs had had surgery recently. And in part of the recovery process, they had dog painkillers.


JP Reynolds  9:39  
So, okay, may I ask a question?


Clint  9:42  
Yes, please do.


JP Reynolds  9:43  
Yeah. How can you tell us the story with a straight face?
How can you just say what you just said?


Clint  9:55  
It gets better. Oh, listen to the rest of story. So, okay, so the dog that had the surgery was not at the wedding. It was the two dogs that live with the couple right, are golden retrievers. And in my experience, the Golden Retrievers is that they're so people friendly, and they're so mellow and just loving and that kind of stuff. But apparently, that personality description doesn't fit these two dogs, that they're a little hyper. The owners decided to take the pain killers from the other dog and give them to these two dogs to mellow them out. And you know what? It kind of worked. They were relatively cool. 


JP
Who told you this? How did you find this out? 


Clint
The event planner, who was in charge of the dogs, or had to interact whatever, had said, they gave them painkillers to mellow them out.


JP  11:03  
Wow.


Clint  11:05  
I think actually, they didn't say painkillers. I'm saying that. Yeah, they drugged them to mellow them out. And it was like just half a pill. But it was just enough to take off the edge of the jittery, you know?


JP Reynolds  11:19  
Well, I find a half a pill is usually good enough to take off the edge.


Clint  11:22  
Is it really?


JP Reynolds  11:24  
Yeah, yeah. Why? Do you need more than half a pill to take off the edge?


Clint  11:27  
So that's our new t shirt. Half a pill will take off the edge.


JP Reynolds  11:31  
I usually take half a pill before the podcast starts.


Clint  11:38  
Dissolve in the beverage of your choice.


JP 11:40  
Yeah, but continue, please.


Clint  11:44  
So you know those heel protectors that are available to anybody who's wearing a heel and the heel is kind of narrow. And you're going to be walking on grass. And so they have this plastic thing that'll go over the heel to widen the surface. So the heel doesn't sink into the grass. Yeah. I love those things. I think they're very practical. But what I have learned over the years…


JP Reynolds  13:21  
Do they work? Do they work for you?


Clint  13:23  
Well, I have to still stay on my toes. But yeah, yeah. Thank you for asking. I love those. But what I've learned over the over the years is that they come in different sizes because heels are different sizes. Right? Right. The event planner, first time I've ever seen this, the event planner had a bag, like a Ziploc bag full of heel protectors, all different sizes. And I forget who was gonna get it. It wasn't the bride, It was like a mom. A mother of the bride or the bride’s sister. It was the bride’s sister. That's fine. And the event planner just said well let's see. And found the ones. They were kind of like color coordinated and there was a blue and pink and green and they were different sizes. Yeah. And found the right size and I thought, why, there you go. That's the next level. For an event planner who's going to do a wedding to have a bag full of these things instead of telling them or maybe she did say you might want to get heel protectors. You're going to be walking on grass but because it was only 10 people and let's say five of them are women. Then Yeah, I got a bag of heel protectors and let's see what fits you and I thought that was great.


JP Reynolds  14:39  
That is very impressive.


Clint  14:44  
Yes. So how many JPS would we give that?


JP Reynolds  14:49  
I virtual fist bump on that one. Okay, that is that is very, very impressive. I'm gobsmacked.


Clint  15:12  
I don't even want to know what that looks like. So now, there's a thing when you want to give corrective criticism to a person, you do it in a sandwich, you compliment them, then you give them the criticism or the, whatever it is. And then you compliment them again. So that you're not just berating them. Okay, so now I'm going to do that to the event planners. So the event planners


JP Reynolds  15:40  
I thought you were gonna do it to me.


Clint  15:45  
No, you're still gobsmacked. I don’t want to pile on.


JP Reynolds  15:49  
Thank you.


Clint  15:51  
Okay, so the event planner had the bag, but then the other event planner, the ceremony has begun. And obviously, there's no wedding party, right. And the mom is sitting in the front row of the bride, and then the sister is holding on to her eight month old child, so there really isn't, who's gonna. So then I realized what was going on. And the beautiful thing of the long walk for the processional for the bride and her dad was that I was able to just, everybody's looking and I just walked by the musicians. As officiants, we’re looking out to the guests. So on our left is where the musicians were, the guitarist and the trumpet player, and two event planners who are standing over there. I realized the bride had a long train and a long veil. And so I walked over. And I said, it just occurred to me, who's going to take care of the veil and the train? And the event planner says, I will, or I am. So it was pre determined. That's what I got from that response. And I said, Well, she's gonna be on the other side. Would you like to just kind of sneak over to the other side right now? So you're not crossing in front of everybody when the time comes? Oh, oh, okay. And, so we took care of that. What I thought was, and I go through this a lot, where people don't know what they don't know. And she hadn't thought out the whole thing. You know, in terms of, she was busy talking to her fellow assistant, as opposed to, where should I be to accomplish this task? But she crossed over, and it was no big deal. And she was there when I needed her. So that was great. But it's always surprised. It's reminds me of the ceremony I told you about that was actually a vow renewal. And they were going to do a unity candle. But the Unity candle was blocked by all of the chairs. And I said to the event planner, before everything started, I said, How are they going to get there? Because we're talking about people that were in their 60s? how they're going to get to the candle? Oh, should I remove a row chairs? I said, Well, I don't know how else they're gonna get there. So that would probably be good. So it's just like thinking the whole thing through. 
There was a photographer, and an assistant. So the photographer was interesting, nice guy. And I said to him, as I say to almost every photographer, I have no rules, do whatever you want. But here's what's going to happen. Just so you know. And I said, then afterwards, are you going to have the family hang around and do photos with them? Yes. Where would you like them to go, because I can direct them if you'd like me to. And that actually worked. Because he didn't want to do it where the ceremony was going to take place, he wanted to bring them to another part of the lawn. So that worked out good, theoretically. So I also said, if you get what you need of me during the ceremony, that's great. If you want me to pose with them afterwards, that's also great. I don't care, do whatever you want. And he says, okay, and I said, just so you know, I never use those photos of me posing with the couple. I don't, that's not my thing. And between you and me, if I'm going to use a photo for any marketing, or any of that kind of stuff, I want it to be an interactive photo where the couple is having a good experience, not me just standing next to the couple. I don’t get anything from that. Right. So then he said, okay, and I said, so I'll just walk up to you and just ask you, do you need anything from me? And you just tell me. 
Now, most photographers, if they decide they want that photo, then they will immediately get me in there as quickly as they possibly can. And they will say, so that we can get that over with for you, because I know you're busy. Which is very, very considerate. I love that. The opposite happened with this wedding, And this photographer. It was fascinating. Now remember, they've only got 10 people. And so I went up to him after I took care of my paperwork. I went up to him and I said, Do you need anything from me? He said, yeah, we definitely want to get you in there. If you can just hang out for a second. I said, Sure. I'm not in a hurry. Well, it seemed like every combination of photo with 10 people, actually eight guests that they could possibly think of they took. And I actually had to say to him during a little break. Do you mind if I jump in there? After I had waited about 20 minutes? And it was just so different than what I'm used to. And I thought, well, I don't know. It made me wonder, how many weddings has this particular photographer done? Because everybody else was on a different level? And have you ever been through that? Where they want to take a photo of you? But I mean, tell me what your your policy is, in terms of the photo?


JP Reynolds  23:44  
I think the mistake you made was saying that you're not in a hurry. And I've learned never to say that to a photographer.


Clint  23:55  
What do you say?


JP Reynolds  23:57  
First of all, like yourself, I don't do standalone photos with the couple after the ceremony. 


Clint
Oh, you just don't. 


JP
I don't. I don't and I don't like the way I look in photos. I really have a big issue with that. And so I just tell them I'm in the witness relocation program. And I don't need a photo of me standing in the middle with the couple on either side of me.


Clint  24:26  
What if a couple requests it?


JP Reynolds  24:28  
If they request it, I'll do it. Okay, but I can't remember the last time a couple wanted to have a picture with Shrek.


Clint  24:43  
You're way too hard on yourself, JP.


JP Reynolds  24:45  
Well, thank you, but they don’t need a picture of me. Like yourself, I like the pictures during the ceremony. All right. My issue is, if I can't get the license signed before the ceremony, then I need to get it signed immediately after the ceremony. And I want to make sure that typically if it's the best man and maid of honor or two of the attendants who are going to be signing, that they not get hijacked by the photographer for photos. So I do say to the photographer, I need these people now, because I need to get to another engagement.


Clint  25:31  
Oh, okay. Yeah, I try as hard as I can to get the witnesses if witnesses are necessary for the license, because here in California, we also have a confidential. If witnesses are necessary, I'll say I'd like to get that done before the ceremony. But I always say because I don't want to bother anybody after the ceremony,


JP Reynolds  25:52  
I'm the same way. There are times though, when it's not possible. There’s photos, there's emergency, there's whatever.


Clint
Right, and we got to start.


JP
There are times where it's just easier, emotionally for people to do what they're doing before the ceremony and just nab them right after the ceremony. Right. But right after the ceremony, they are mine. I let the event planner know that I need them right after the ceremony. And I no longer twiddle my thumbs for 25 minutes waiting to grab people.


Clint  26:29  
Right? Yeah, communication is everything. You know, if I was going to train, if I had an academy for officiants, at the top of the of the criteria would be communication before any of the other stuff, formalities and, handling the couple and any of that kind of stuff. Communication is everything to a professional officiant, in my opinion.


JP Reynolds  26:52  
Right. Right. And actually, that's true. I'm biased. It's true of anybody. But yes.


Clint  27:00  
Well, that's right. You're an expert, aren't you? Well, la dee da.


JP Reynolds  27:08  
If you want information about me, Clint, you can listen to the introduction.


Clint  27:13  
Oh, that's right. Boy, whoever does that for you does a good job. So that wraps up the biggest micro wedding in the world. And I hope everybody enjoyed that because it took two episodes to lay it all out.


JP Reynolds  27:30  
And I love it. It's a new reality show My Big Fat micro wedding.


Clint  27:36  
Oh my gosh, that'd be awesome. Yeah. Oh, my gosh, my big fat.


JP Reynolds  27:39  
Because micro weddings are here to stay.


Clint  27:44  
I agree. Well, they were here before. They just didn't have the publicity.


JP Reynolds  27:48  
But they didn't have the traction, right or trending the way they are right now.


Clint  27:53  
Right. Right, right. Yeah. But I really do believe and we've talked about how many weddings have been rescheduled. I told you in the last episode, I had one this August that just rescheduled to 2022. And there'll be, because all of those people that want the blowout, they want that big dream wedding because that's what they've always dreamed of. And, so yeah, we have a lot of stuff, a lot of work ahead of us. I know that big light at the end of the tunnel, especially with the vaccines now coming out, and the tunnel is getting shorter and shorter. So I'm pretty excited about all of that.


JP Reynolds  28:28  
All right, JP. Alright, Clint. Well, I'm going to go and see if I can track down Flashdance and see what that sweatshirt looks like that they're talking about.


Clint  28:39  
If you only took half a pill before the episode, that means that half a pill is waiting for you.


JP Reynolds  28:45  
Oh, thank you, Daddy.


Clint  28:48  
All right, everybody. That's the way this works. Sorta every week, we try to tell you new stories and discuss different things about the wedding ceremony and everything is attached to it. You can listen to all of the episodes a couple of different ways. Number one, go to our website. It's weddingceremonypodcast.com, and all of them are right there laid out chronologically, which means the most recent one is at the top. We also have added transcripts of the episodes and the conversations. And there's a big button there that says email us and if you want to tell us a story or anything else that you would like us to know, then click on that Email button. I check it every single day. And we're certainly going to get back to you as quickly as we possibly can. Remember that the other way that you can listen to the episodes is through the Apple podcast or any of the apps on your mobile devices that access the Apple podcast store. Just look up wedding ceremony podcast, and we'll pop right up and then click on the subscribe button. And then every time we post a new episode, it'll automatically come into your podcast world which is great. We also want to remind you that JP’S books are in the Amazon store and in the Kindle store in Amazon. As previously discussed during this episode of the podcast, JP is an expert in communications. Thebusinessofconfidence.com is that website. His wedding website is JPRweddings.com. Mine is ReverendClint.com or ClintHufft.com for all of the things that I do. Thank you again to the incredible musicians that play our theme music. Dacapoplayers.com. That's it for this episode of the wedding ceremony podcast. This is Clint and on behalf of JP We will see you next time.

#301
Clint  0:00  
Hey everybody, welcome to the wedding ceremony podcast. We talk about anything and everything that has to do with wedding ceremonies. This is episode number 301, recorded on Tuesday, February the ninth 2021. My name is Clint Hufft. And with me is a gentleman that well, we lived up to the promise. There is an episode after 300. He is JP Reynolds.


JP Reynolds  0:25  
Yes, Happy. Happy episode there to 300.


Clint  0:31  
Yes, exactly. JP is accomplished author. His books are in the Amazon store and in the Kindle store in Amazon. He is a communications expert. thebusinessofconfidence.com is that website, his wedding website is JPRweddings.com. Mine is Reverendclint.com or ClintHufft.com for all of the things that I do. 
I teased this in the last episode about one of our listeners, Zita Christian, who is in Manchester, Connecticut. And she's an officiant. And she wrote us this wonderful email on January 26. She said, every December Dave Jackson from the School of podcasting, asks his listeners for their favorite podcast. The compilation of answers is always his last episode of the year. And then they gave us a link to the episode. And I guess I'll put that, yeah, I guess I can do that. I put that in the notes, show notes. So she said, if you go to minute 44, or in that area, you'll hear my contribution. And so I did. And then I sent you the link and told you exactly where she came in. And she talked about the wedding ceremony podcast. And it was so sweet and moving and complimentary.


JP Reynolds  2:13  
I listened to it. It's like, Oh, that's what we do.


Clint  2:25  
Thanks for clearing that up.


JP Reynolds  2:26  
yes. Now I know what I've been doing for three hundred episodes.


Clint  2:32  
Oh my gosh. And what triggered her or at least motivated her was she was listening to Episode 299. And when I talked about Ron's lovely bunch of coconuts. So anyway, thank you, Zita. It meant the world to us. And I Oh my God. That was manna from heaven, a wonderful little pearl that came out of nowhere. So that's very cool. 
I noticed that your website is JPRweddings.com. Mine is ReverendClint.com. But obviously, we're both interfaith and we marry people from all over and you don't have any kind of a title in front of yours. 
We have a great friend in San Diego, Bethel Nathan, who is an officiant. And her website is Ceremonies by Bethel. And so what did you think about when you decided to create the name for your website? I mean, because now I'm beginning to think maybe I need to rebrand because maybe Reverend The title is too limiting. What do you think?


JP Reynolds  3:54  
Wow. An interesting question.
My website has been JPR weddings I think almost from the very first incarnation of my website. And, it's now been so long since I chose that that name for the website. I must admit, it's a little vague boy, I did that. Um, I think in terms of my brand, it's the JP is Joseph Patrick. Named after my father. My mother hated both names. She wanted to name me Ronald. Thank God She didn't have her way. Ronald Reynolds, no. And from the day I was born, I was known as JP so I knew That JP would have to be in the name. And at the time, my business website was JPR communications. Oh, so I liked the idea of balancing that with JPR communications JPR weddings. I then had an email from somebody who claimed that their business was JPR communications, and they asked to change the name. And that's when I changed it to the business of confidence, which I liked much more than JPR communications actually. When I was a priest, Catholic priests oftentimes had the title of Father, which I actually was never comfortable with, because it's like, well, I'm not your father, and not your mother. I was a Reverend. When I left ministry, as a priest, I wanted to very much make sure that people knew that I was no longer functioning as a priest. And that while I was a Reverend, the expanse of my ceremonies went beyond religious ceremonies. And when I was a priest, I had always asked people to simply call me JP, so I never really stood on on a title. And that is a meandering explanation.


Clint  6:50  
No, that's what I was looking for. I wanted to hear that. By the way, on a side note, every time your mother makes an appearance in our podcast, I just start laughing. 
Okay, I'm gonna change the subject here for a second. There's a city in northern Nevada. It's called Reno. And the motto of Reno is “the biggest little city in the world”. I did a micro wedding this last Saturday. I was not in Reno, but oh, no, you'll see where I'm going.


JP Reynolds  7:37  
Don’t mind me. Just keep talking.


Clint  7:38  
No, it's okay. And I totally get that. All right. So I think I did the biggest micro wedding in the world. That's where I was going with this. Okay, I have no idea how Reno decided that that's what they were going to call themselves. But I'm going to explain this to you. And you will see why I think it was the biggest micro wedding in the world. Okay. Okay. There were only 10 people that were actually like, participants. Yeah, there was at least twice that many in terms of support staff. But there were 10 people, and that includes the bride and groom. So there was the bride and groom, there was her mom and dad, there was his mom, and I think an uncle and a brother. And then her sister, the sister’s six month old baby and the sister's husband. That's it, right? But they rented out this estate. And anybody who's been to Southern California and his meandered up towards Santa Barbara, there's an area called Montecito, which is just gorgeous. And so we had talked a few episodes ago about people that will do an Airbnb, but it'll be like a bigger home for like a day, for an event or whatever. So that's what I was expecting. I was expecting something like that. So I get to the property and there's a gate and there's this person there and so you have to make sure you are who you say you are and then there's this long driveway and then there's a place to park but, I immediately realized, okay, I'm in a different world right now. Really, it was the kind of house that you only see in movies and television. And it's kind of like okay, I don't know where that is, but it certainly isn't anywhere near where I live. And I almost expected people to start talking in British accents. And maybe there was a dragon just over the hill.


JP Reynolds  9:35  
You know, I think Prince Harry lives in Montecito.


Clint  9:39  
Oh, no kidding. Yeah. Oh, see, now the plot thickens. Because here's the deal. Whoever lives there. So there let me explain the the grounds. There was the main house which looked like a big house. Then there was a second house which apparently the in-laws lived in, and again, a big house. There was a conservatory which they had Because of the pandemic converted into a gym, so there was a bunch of exercise equipment in there. That's also where the bride did hair and makeup. And then there's a pool house. Then there's the garage, which looks like it could have fit six cars in there. You know how it had four doors. And then the driveway and everything was that kind of paving stone. And there was even a little creek where in order to get to the back house where I guess, so that's another house, which is where the service staff, I guess if they had live in people, you went over a little bridge in order to get to that area. That's where I ended up parking. And they had a pool, they had a full tennis court. You know, it was just that and then the grounds, had multi levels where if you're going to go to the next level, you have to walk up these stone steps and everything looked like it was built like a long time ago. And it was just gorgeous, magnificent. Amazing, huh. 
They hired a band, a full band. And the leader of the band is this guy that's got a great voice. He wears like a white dinner jacket, everybody else is in black suits. And he plays the trumpet and sings. I had met him a couple years ago at some networking thing. And he's like, not just a band, he's like a legit guy that plays major events and clubs. And, you get the feeling that he's from another era. Yeah, and hipster kind of Michael Buble kind of a feeling. Plus he plays the trumpet. So he was gonna play the trumpet and the band was maybe like a five or six piece band for 10 people. And he was gonna play trumpet for the processional music. And I recognize him, walked up and said, Oh, my gosh, I can't believe that I get to actually work with you. Because, we hit it off a couple years ago at this thing. Alright, so 10 people, and not just a wedding band, but a full legit, this guy is a pro, a couple of levels above.


JP Reynolds  12:07  
I just want to clarify this couple lived at this estate, or were they renting it?


Clint  12:22  
They just rented it. Okay. And to make it even more staggering for me, you have to understand I'm filtering all of this. I'm telling you exactly what I was feeling. The event planner, I said this place is amazing. She said, they actually live here. The people that own it, we never saw them. But they only rent it out once a year for a wedding. And then twice a year for fundraisers. Oh, once a year for a wedding. And somehow this couple got it. Wow. And wow. Well, now I've brought up the event planner. Okay, so to answer your question, the couple lives down in Orange County. So for those of you not familiar with Southern California, that's about 100 miles between Santa Montecito and Newport Beach. So there was five event planners, there was the event planner and four assistanys for 10 people.


JP Reynolds  13:31  
Whoa,


Clint  13:33  
yeah. And I just kept thinking to myself, okay, I know that what I'm about to say, you can identify with completely because we have a list of things that we have thought in our heads that we can never say out loud. And when it comes to a wedding because I know there's a whole other world Oh, no, no, you're gonna like this. So when I really got the lay of the land and understood and I looked around to all the people and everything that was going on. Oh and the flowers. It was full flowers. In fact, there was a long path for the processional. That came from an upper terrace and down along this lawn that had one of those. You've seen him at resorts where they'll have like a fountain. That is a real long oval. Yeah, yeah. So they had one of those at this house. Anyway, and that's not the pool, because when I was walking back to my car, I walked by the pool. Yeah, this is just the fountain on the upper terrace or whatever they would call it outside the conservatory in front of the main house. Yeah, so she's gonna walk all along this long oval pond, fountain thingy. Hmm. And the florist took flowers, not roses, but some thing like on a stem maybe. I really don't know what they were anyway, they were white. And there was a bunch of them, let's say that clusters about four flowers wide. And on both sides of the pathway that the couple was gonna walk up to get to me. And the end, it looked like it was about 50 yards. That means they hired a florist, to do all of that, plus we were in front of an archway. And then, of course, there were flowers for where they were going to have dinner. And it was just amazing. And then I'll get to that in a second. So the phrase that went through my head that I really wanted to ask the father of the bride was, How much money do you actually have?


JP 16:05  
A legitimate question.


Clint  16:08  
Yes. Now, I was told a while ago, this one particular client that I talked about the wedding and and that, you're just in a different world, and you walk up and it looks like a castle. And I was told by the assistant who contacted me, this guy's a billionaire. Okay, great. But in this particular wedding that I did just a few days ago, I had no idea. I don't have any idea what they did. You know what? Actually now that I think about, I did say to the event planner, do you have any idea what what the dad does? She said, one of the greatest phrases I've ever heard in my life. She said, I think he's in storage.


JP  16:48  
In storage?


Clint  16:52  
Yes. Oh, my gosh, I can't wait to tell my kids. I don't know what plans you have for your life. But from this point forward, you're going into storage. That's fabulous. It reminds me of the movie The Graduate. Yeah. The guy said plastics.


JP Reynolds  17:05  
Yeah, yeah. Yeah.


Clint  17:07  
okay. So all of that was there. Now It's time to talk to the people that set up the sound system. It's a full sound system. The microphone sounded great. It was one of those where it kind of was omnidirectional.


JP Reynolds  17:22  
Oh, okay. So now, because it's only eight people. Right? And it's outdoors, but it's a sheltered outdoors. So you wanted a microphone, even given that limited number of people?


Clint  17:48  
Oh, the one thing I didn't say to set this whole thing up was the event planner contacted me two weeks ago. And so actually, about 10 days ago, 10 days before the wedding. They were gonna get married at some resort down closer to where they live. But obviously, that was out of the question. And so they decided to do this thing. And then, the event planner, very casually said, I think they're gonna have their big wedding in Italy next year. And I'm thinking sure they are. They are, of course they are. 
And so when I showed up, everything was already there. I didn't have a conversation with anybody about the setup, or the microphone, or any of that kind of stuff. Other than when I got there. They said, What do you want to work with? And it's interesting how everybody wants to default to a lapel mic. Right. And that is not my favorite. Right? Yeah. Anyway, so I said, well, they wrote personal vows. And so it'd be kind of easy if I just had a mic that I could turn towards them. And so that's what we did. But here's the thing: as a surprise to the bride and groom. You know, sometimes people will hire doves to fly at the end of the ceremony? Yeah, yeah. And then the timing of that, especially if it's a surprise to the bride and groom. The timing of that is you either do it at the kiss, or you do it when at the very end when you present them, right. And I did one time over the years, I thought, let's try the kiss. And that was a mistake, because you want the couple to be completely focused on each other. And instead, there's birds flying around, which is kind of shocking, if you don't expect it. Right. And so most of the time, I'll suggest, okay, do it at the end. Let them kiss and don't do it Then.


JP Reynolds  19:37  
You have to understand, I'm from New York. Yeah. And we have a lot of pigeons. So people like to have romantic trysts in Central Park and pigeons are flying around. Yeah.


Clint  19:51  
One day we'll talk about the pigeons in New York. Yeah. Okay. So they had cannons with rose petals in them. That was going to be their pigeon release, it was going to be the explosion of flower petals. At the particular moment near the end of the ceremony,


JP Reynolds  20:10  
Were these hand held like, quote hand cannons?


Clint  20:14  
No, they were not. And that ended up being a very important thing. No, they were tubes, metal tubes on brackets on the ground, behind. I don't know what they were behind, but the bride and groom couldn't see them as they were walking up. And then once the ceremony begins, they're not looking at anything. So they wouldn't have seen it. And it was off to the side a little bit. It was like on the outside of the Oh, and the guests Were sitting in benches, not chairs. So it's like pews. And there was only two of them in each row. So yeah, anyway, and so that was out there. So the question before the ceremony begins, number one, it's a surprise to the bride and groom. They don't know anything about the flower cannons. I said, Great. And then a guy comes walking up. And the event planner says, and this is so and so who's with the sound people and they also brought the flower cannons. Great. So I explained who I am. And I said, What's the plan? I always like to let people go first. I don't want to start imposing my will on anybody if they've already figured it out. So what's the plan? Well, actually, what do you think? Which was very nice. I said not the kiss, don't do it at the kiss. Because if they don't know what's coming, it'll freak them out. Because it's a cannon. Right? And so just wait, don’t do it with kiss. Wait until they're facing everybody. And I say here they are Mr. Mrs. Okay, and I said that about three or four times, not the kiss. Just for clarification, not to be a jerk, just for clarification. So not at the kiss. And because it was obvious to me that this guy was not one of those dove people that have been to 5 billion weddings. This was an audio visual guy. And so I was really kind of explaining the lay of the land. Right? Okay. We get to the end of the ceremony. And I say By the power vested in me Baba, bah, I pronounce you united in marriage. Flower cannon know before the kiss, they hadn't kissed and boom. And I have that surreal moment of, oh my gosh, I gotta finish this thing. So then while the flowers are kind of settling down in the air, I said, Would you like to kiss? And then I got out of the shot. So they kiss. And you know what? That might have been a brilliant photo, because they kissed while the rose petals were falling down to the ground. I don't know. I'm really curious to see that. And then they turn and they started walking away and I did the final here they are Mr. And Mrs. While they're walking away. I had told the musicians your cue is when the cannons go off, your cue to start the music. The recessional is when the cannons go off. So they did what I told them. Right. But everything was too soon. And so I don't even know if anybody heard me say what their names, the Mr. and Mrs. Right? 
I don't really don't care about stuff like that. I really honestly don't. Every now and then a DJ or musician will screw up the queue or whatever, fine. 
Then the guy comes over to me. And I said who's gonna push the button on the cannons? He said there is no button. I said how do you make them go off? He says I plug it in. Because he said when I send electricity to the cannons they will explode. He said electricity. What does that mean? I'm just gonna plug it in. Okay, well, then, again, here's the cue. I even said, they're gonna turn they're going to face everybody. I'm going to say I present to you for the first time Mr. And Mrs. And when I get to Mrs. Plug it in. Because then when I say their last name, the timing will be perfect. And off the cannon will go. Well, when I said united in marriage, he freaked out, because it was his first rodeo. And then I walked over to him and he said, was that too soon? I said yeah, but I don't care. Look at them. They're really happy. All right, because that's the way I think that kind of thing should be handled. If he already acknowledged that he screwed up the que. I'm not gonna hammer him.


JP Reynolds  24:36  
Yeah, listen, at the end of the ceremony. There's so much joy and there's so much excitement. Nobody is paying attention to the steps. It's a celebration of joy and euphoria.


Clint  25:00  
When I emcee things, sometimes participants will get kind of freaked out over something that was or was not supposed to happen. And, I just say, listen, the audience has no idea what's supposed to happen. They're just gonna sit down and entertain us. And we just kind of roll out whatever it is right?


JP Reynolds  25:18  
All of it is arbitrary. You and this guy figured it out right before the ceremony, right? You could have picked any sequence of events, right?


Clint  25:28  
And the guests, all eight of them would have no idea, right? There was a guy that I worked with when I was a DJ, and did a ton of bar and Bat Mitzvahs. And, we work as a team. I had a ton of experience before I went into that world of social events and weddings and bar mitzvahs and things. I actually worked in the corporate world, and I was a event or an entertainment coordinator. And so I had all this experience. I joined this company that has a lot of DJs and MCs, and they do a ton of business. And I got paired with this guy, who was the number one guy in the mitzvah world. And I was curious as to why I was paired with him. Because I was brand new to this world, I had never done a Bar Mitzvah before. It turns out that they figured that I had enough maturity to deal with this guy, because he was a prima donna. So the reason I'm really kind to people when they screw up is because this guy was the opposite. If we're doing a thing, and there's like a sequence of things that he wants to do, if for some reason I don't hit the cue exactly on the word that is the cue. Literally, this happened more than once. He's on the microphone, and people are dancing, and he stops what he's doing to come over to me off the microphone, of course, and say, you just ruined the whole party. Oh, and I, because of my experience, I looked at him and said, Get back to work. What are you doing? Then it turns out there were other DJs that told me that he had done the exact same thing to them. You just ruined the whole party, because of something that was not exactly perfect. And I thought, you know what, because of the power that we have as officiants I'm never gonna do that to anybody ever. If something gets screwed up, I'm just gonna say well, okay, because I figure I'm not gonna hammer him. I just don't i don't have that mindset. Does that make sense?


JP Reynolds  27:35  
Oh, yes perfectly. I totally agree with you. Yeah.


Clint  27:41  
Okay, there's one more thing. We're almost at a time. Maybe I should have phase two. Yeah,
I think I'll do that. I’ll do part two. That's okay. Okay, go ahead. No, no, we're gonna do part two. So, Episode 300, the second episode after the next episode, after 300. Then we'll talk about part two of this wedding that I did, because there's more. Okay. Yeah, the biggest micro wedding in the world.


JP Reynolds  28:09  
I have to say, when you introduced it that way, I thought, Oh, Clint’s exaggerating. But you actually we're not exaggerating. I would agree with you. It's like the biggest micro wedding ever.


Clint  28:30  
Oh, my gosh, I have so much more to tell you. It was amazing. I remember getting in the car. And on my way home. I call my wife to say, I'm coming home. She was how was the wedding? I said there's so much I can't tell you right now. And I said I also will confess to you I cannot wait until Tuesday when I get to talk to JP Yeah. Yep. All right, everybody. That's the way this works for the wedding ceremony podcast. We tell stories that because we're still in the thick of it, JP and I, and we know that you are as well, we would love for you to tell us your stories. And thank you again to Zita and I saw that we have a new email from Ron in Australia who sent us the coconuts. And so if you would like to contact us, just go to our website weddingceremonypodcast.com and click on the “email us” button, and then it will come right to us. I check it every single day. And tell us a story or ask us a question or whatever you want to do. It's all good. That also is where you can listen to our episodes. They are all on that website. They're archived chronologically, so that means the most recent one is at the top. My suggestion is that you get to the Apple podcast or any of the apps that access that and that way you can subscribe. Look up wedding ceremony podcast, click on the subscribe button. And then every time we post a new episode, it'll automatically come into your world. And if you would like to leave us a review, That would be awesome, because that's how people discover new content. Want to remind you again that JP'S books are in the Amazon store and in the Kindle store in Amazon. For communications coaching thebusinessofconfidence.com. Wedding website is Jprweddings.com. Mine is ReverendClin.com, at least for today. I really am seriously thinking of changing that. And also ClintHufft.com, For all of the things that I do. Thank you again to the incredible musicians that play our theme music the dacapoplayers.com. That's it for this episode of the wedding ceremony podcast. This is Clint and on behalf of JP We will see you next time.

#300
Clint  0:01  
Hey everybody, welcome to the wedding ceremony podcast. We talk about anything and everything that has to do with wedding ceremonies. This is episode number 300. Let me repeat that 300, recorded on Tuesday, February the second 2021. That's a lot of two's man. My name is Clint Hufft. And with me is the chuckling gentlemen that we all know and love. JP Reynolds.


JP  0:28  
Well, Clint, Clint Clint. Happy Anniversary.


Clint  0:31  
Thank you. It the word tricentennial? Is that what we are?


JP Reynolds  0:46  
I go with so many things. Um, and you can check our gift shop to find out what we are the 


Clint
Curio shop. 


JP
Yes, and curio shop. Yes, life was certainly different 300 episodes ago.


Clint  1:03  
Oh my gracious. I remember the very first episode. Oh wait, before I launch into that, JP is an accomplished author. His books are in the Amazon store and in the Kindle store in Amazon. He is a communications expert. thebusinessofconfidence.com is that website. his wedding website is JP our weddings.com. Mine is Reverendclint.com or ClintHufft.com For all of the things that I do.
I remember the very first episode. And it was obvious to me that when we started talking, this had been on your mind for a long time, way before podcasting was even a glimmer in your eye. I remember clear as day thinking, Oh, boy, he really needs to get this off his chest. And it was emotional blackmail. I remember that clearest thing that you started talking you like, went off on how couples are being emotionally manipulated and I thought well, alright, then here we go.


JP Reynolds  2:08  
It's Oh, yeah. Well, you know, 300 episodes later, I would say that that is and remains one of the important areas to be aware of when planning your wedding. Yes, emotional blackmail. Oftentimes exerted by parents. Yeah. Yeah. Well, nothing's changed in 300 episodes. I still think parents emotionally blackmail their children and unhealthy couples engage in emotional blackmail with each other. If you really love me, you will?


Clint  3:07  
Yeah. Yeah. It's fascinating. Sometimes I have to remind people that there is the day after the wedding day. You know what I mean? Because all of this intense focus on the wedding and the wedding ceremony and the wedding day and the planning and everything that goes into it, and then all of the emotional components that are byproducts of that whole process. And sometimes over the long, more than two decades that I've been doing this is to say, just remember, there's the day after, and the day after that, and the day after that. So, just kind of keep it in mind.


JP Reynolds  3:47  
And I think that is one of the benefits of micro weddings. It strips away a lot of the psychodrama and a micro wedding becomes much more a special day, in a lifetime of days. And that's interesting, because now I'm thinking, I think there's probably less emotional drama in the era of micro weddings.


Clint  4:26  
Because it's a different type of emotional drama, because people that are so frustrated that they wanted the big wedding, I guess that's what I see. Well, or, it's like, you know how they say that when a couple fights about the toothpaste tube, that the fight really isn't about the toothpaste tube, it's about whatever they've been harboring leading up to that. So that's the way it feels that all of the whatever people are going through because of the pandemic and everything associated with that and whatever they feel politically and all of that and then they decide To get married, and what it feels and tell me if you think, I've experienced this, that a micro wedding is almost like an oasis in the middle of all this stress.


JP Reynolds  5:11  
Oh, yes. Yes. I've always said that a wedding is an oasis in its ideal state. However, in the midst of a pandemic, I think these micro weddings are definitely a moment of Oasis relief. Yeah. Yeah, interesting.


Clint  5:43  
The other thing that I want to thank you for, because as we share ideas and tell stories, and that sort of thing, and I think I can speak on behalf of our audience, our listeners, that we've learned so much. It's fascinating. When we first started, we wondered how long we were going to do this, because Are we going to run out of stories? And then what we discovered is that because we're both still doing the job, and because weddings are, as you have so eloquently said, wackadoo, that we keep learning almost every single episode of How do I handle this? And what if this comes up, and here's the way I handle this, and that has been one of the wonderful side benefits for me personally, I mean, as long as I've been doing this in as many weddings and of all different sizes that I've done, the fact that every time we start talking to each other, we end up learning more, which betters our ability to practice our craft, is just one of the great blessings of 300 episodes. So once again, I want to thank you for being my partner with that.


JP Reynolds  6:53  
Well, thank you, Clint for for being mine. And that's a really interesting, and I think, critical dimension, mid dimension to being a professional to have that support system in place where a professional can learn through through reflection with another person and through listening to their experiences and stories. And I mean, technically speaking, I've been doing this even longer than yourself in my original capacity. Yeah. It is interesting that after all of this time, I am still in awe of the the power of ritual and ceremony, and still learning to honor and harness the power of ritual and ceremony.


Clint  8:25  
There's a question I don't think I've ever asked you.


JP Reynolds  8:29  
The answer's no.


Clint  8:32  
Probably so. So thank you, and good night. Now, what occurs to me. We mentioned in the last episode that that conversation we had in Starbucks, and you said we should have a podcast. And I don't think I ever asked you. Why do you want to have a podcast? Was it a marketing thing? or What was your original impulse for starting a podcast?


JP Reynolds  9:03  
Right. See, what has been consistent is over the years who have loved asking me questions that require me, every member If you still don't understand there is no memory here. There may be entertainment in the moment, but there's really not much to long term memory. I would say a magazine that I read faithfully and I have read, I can say from issue number one, I've read from issue number one is the magazine Fast Company.


Clint  9:46  
I love that magazine.


JP Reynolds  9:48  
And I suspect that prior to our putting this podcast together, I suspect that Fast Company was previewing the arrival of podcasting as an emerging medium for professionals. And I did see it as a way to distinguish ourselves in a marketplace filled with wonderfully competent and engaging officiants. Because when we started this podcast, Oh, God, I feel so old, but when we started this podcast, podcasts in general were just emerging. And particularly in the wedding industry, there weren't a lot of wedding podcasts devoted to any aspect of the wedding industry. And now, you could have a streaming service devoted to podcasts with a wedding theme.


Clint  11:26  
Oh, yeah, absolutely. You could, you could have its own channel. Absolutely. There's so much content out there.


JP Reynolds  11:33  
But when we were doing it. It was a way to really distinguish yourself and the reality is, we had a gimmick. And I say that in the most professional meaning of the word gimmick, in that you and I always said we were a fraternity of two, in that you officiated a bachelor/Bachelorette wedding, and I officiated a Survivor wedding. And at that time, we were the only officiants to have officiated a wedding That was on network TV.


Clint  12:27  
Oh, that's right.


JP Reynolds  12:30  
Well, there you go. Now they don't need us because the hosts of the show officiate the weddings. Back then, even back then, that notion of a Survivor wedding or Bachelor/Bachelorette wedding was a really big sweeps week to do. We both appeared on some form of sweeps week on TV.


Clint  13:01  
Well, no, I wasn't. The sweeps months are February, June, September, and November.


JP Reynolds  13:13  
Oh my God, I was in the wrong fraternity.


Clint  13:23  
Mine was December the 10th. That's when it went. That's when it was. Yeah, something like that.


JP Reynolds  13:31  
All right. The point is, it was primetime. And it was a big to do, right. And on network television. Right. And now, all of these will let you know you can't duplicate that kind of excitement anymore.


Clint  13:47  
No, the first is always the most exciting. Absolutely.


JP Reynolds  13:50  
Yeah. Yeah. Very lucky. So in terms of the podcast. What I'm saying here is that you and I had this gimmick. And again, that's not a derogatory term. But I mean, we both have the distinction of this experience, and it's was something that I thought should be leaned into.


Clint  14:21  
Yeah, and it's been rare where we've actually referenced those experiences.


JP Reynolds  14:29  
Well, I'm pleased that we've been able to hold when TV was black and white.


Clint  14:33  
Yes. Yes, absolutely. So what I'm curious about now is how you felt the evolution of the podcast where we started. And then I remember what a big deal it was for Episode 100. And I also remember, there are certain kind of like, signature things that our listeners have really hung their hat on. And the biggest one is weather, and more specifically, your reaction to the weather. I always like calling that back, because it was so much fun. How you expressed your frustration with people that insist on getting married in the weather.


JP Reynolds  15:38  
Yes, nothing's changed.


Clint  15:40  
Yes. But, what has stuck, that we've gotten some feedback on, is arches. I didn't know they would be that sticky. I didn't think that it would resonate that strongly. But your opinion of arches, apparently, really made an impact on our listeners.


JP Reynolds  15:59  
I still have strong opinions.
I am like the Michelin Man of arches. It's a four star arch. That is a once I get that arch of one star


Clint  16:18  
JP’S ratings. Wait a minute, we're onto something there. How many JPS Does that get? I guess three JPS?


JP Reynolds  16:26  
Oh, yeah, yeah, no, I still have issues about arches. Yes. And that's why I love but I can't describe this for you. Because I know you have stood in front of it. I've said now that instead of the arch, they have this circular design, right? And they put flowers around it. And so you're standing in front of like a swirly structure that I like so much more than an arch.


Clint  16:56  
Well, whatever doesn't get blown over. That's like, number one for me. Something that's secure.


JP Reynolds  17:04  
High five on that? Yes, yeah.


Clint  17:06  
I don't care what it looks like. That's why for a really short window, it just kind of came in and out of fat very quickly, was the flowers that were just on the ground. You know, you just kind of sat or stood in a semi circle of flower arrangement that were on the ground. And when I first saw that, I thought, Oh, please let this continue. Because it was pretty. Any of the photos that were above the knees of the participants didn't see any of the flowers on the ground. That was the only kind of like, drawback on that. But I thought oh my gosh, that makes so much sense. And that's so practical. But that brings me to, I'm working on some projects now on how to in regards to weddings and things. And I think I told you the story of a wedding that was supposed to be outside in a beautiful resort, but then it was raining really hard. So they brought it inside. And they were in this like Wait,


JP Reynolds  17:58  
Why did they go inside just because was raining? Wimps.


Clint  18:06  
I know, there's more to that story. So what I want to focus on here, though, is that they had about oh my gosh, they had at least 200 guests. And they brought it into, not a ballroom. But like a really big meeting room that had glass windows because this was near the ocean that looked out. And then there was a terrace outside. And so they had a double door that opened up. And the way they figured it out is that they arrange the chairs in like a semi circle. So everybody was kind of facing the double doors. And the idea is that the couple would come out with me because there was an overhang so that we weren't directly in the rain, except for Mr. officiant here, the back of me just got soaked because the wind was blowing anyway, never mind that. So what I did when I first got there, we get there early, we check everything. I went immediately to the side of the chair arrangement on the various sides. And I sat down and I looked and I said, because the planner was there, I said, if we're outside, a third of the people who have been invited to observe this are not going to be able to see the couple. I mean, come here. Look. And I said, so here's the question. The question is, what's the most important thing to the bride? The guest experience or the photos? And I kid you not JP I didn't even get to the period of that sentence. And the planner said, photos. And I said, Well, okay, then that's that. And so the people that can't see, they're just going to have to hopefully stay quiet. Because the other thing that I've noticed with live events is that if people can't see and can't hear, then they think it's okay to start talking. And then that just kind of ripples through everybody else and it becomes awkward. Gotta be annoying. Which is why I think, if you're going to start planning a wedding, then especially the ceremony, everybody has to see and they have to hear or else they just don't feel like you care about them. And, then they don't care about you. And, it just turns into a potential nightmare. But what's most important though, the photos or the guests lets you know that’s square one, right? Especially in the area era of social media, right.


JP Reynolds  20:28  
Which, again, is why I love micro weddings.


Clint  20:31  
Absolutely.


JP Reynolds  20:32  
Because everybody can see a micro wedding. Yep.


Clint  20:37  
The other thing I like about those really small weddings is sometimes when you go to the beach, or something like that, there isn't like a formal setup. You know, with elopements and micro weddings. Sometimes they wanted to be just in the environment. But they didn't have a specific setup. You know how normally when there's an arch or structure, we know where we're going to stand and we know where people are watching. But sometimes when you're in that open area, you really kind of are free forming everything. And I love turning to the photographer and say, okay, just set us up the way you want. So that you get what you need. Because it's all kind of freeform. So we might as well make sure it's right for you. Because you know, the photos are what they're going to have the day after and the day after. I like being able to look at a professional, like a photographer or a videographer and say just put us where you need us.


JP Reynolds  21:34  
And I know that they're very grateful that we have that attitude. Yeah.


Clint  21:41  
Oh my gosh, yes. I have gotten to the point where I can't go on any social media, YouTube or any of that kind of stuff and and observe wedding fails. It breaks my heart. I just can't do it. I skip over all of that stuff. Like, are you confessing this?


JP Reynolds  22:08  
I've never expected anything in the last 300 episodes. So I want to give you a hug, bro. Otherwise, I'm sitting here and if I'm not in the picture. I'm not interested.


Clint  22:35  
That's going on the T shirt. If I'm not in the picture, I'm not interested.


JP Reynolds  22:38  
It's like, yeah, I mean, I have five God children. And I have two nieces. And it's like, when they were little, you're a parent. And so, parents always talk about, you'll be having all these cute little baby. I never noticed any cute little baby. It's like, I have seven cute babies in my life. And I really don't care. I don't and nobody's baby is as cute as one of my seven babies, God children or nieces. And people would say, that's so cold hearted of me. But it's like, No, I've got the seven cutest babies around and let me baby sit and go to the Grove and show off the kid and pretend it's mine.
And this part of the conversation is so emblematic of 300 episodes. This is what Fast Company had in mind 300 episodes ago, advocated that people should podcast.


Clint  23:55  
Well, remember, there's the 300 podcast, and then there's a podcast after that.


JP Reynolds  24:01  
Yeah, yes, right. Fair enough. Well said.


Clint  24:07  
All right, everybody. There you go. That's the way this works. We were thinking of calling it the wedding ceremony podcast, or “we're completely off the rails” podcast. But we decided to stick with wedding ceremony, it seemed more explanatory. If you want to reach out to us, we really like that, go to our website, weddingceremonypodcast.com and click on the email us button. And next episode, we have a big thank you to give to one of our listeners. But I wanted to save it until 301 and give it that kind of its own moment in the spotlight. So there's a teaser for the next episode. Also, on that website is all of our podcast episodes. They're all arranged chronologically, the most recent one is at the top or you can listen in the Apple podcast or any of your mobile apps that access the Apple podcast or just go to weddingceremonypodcasts.com. Click on the subscribe button and then every time we post a new episode it automatically come into your world which is awesome. Remember that JP’S books are in the Amazon store and in the Kindle store in Amazon. For communications coaching thebusinessofconfidence.com. His wedding website is JPRweddings.com. Mine is Reverendclint.com or ClintHufft.com for all of the things that I do. And we also want to give a shout out to the incredible musicians that have been playing our theme music from the very very beginning The Dacapoplayers.com. That's it for Episode Number 300 of the wedding ceremony podcast. This is Clint and on behalf of JP, We will see you next time.