Hey everybody, welcome to the wedding ceremony podcast, we talk about anything and everything that has to do with wedding ceremonies. This is episode number 288, recorded on Tuesday, September the 29th 2020. My name is Clint Hufft. And with me is a gentleman that just gave me the okay to kind of say whatever I want to, the one and only JP Reynolds.
JP Reynolds 0:24
Okay, something got lost in translation.
That's the way I heard it. JP is an accomplished author. His books are in the Amazon store and in the Kindle store in Amazon. He is a communications expert, the business of confidence calm is that website, his wedding website is J p. r. weddings.com. Mine is Reverend clip calm, or Clint hufft HU FFT calm for all the things that I do. jp, I did a wedding, it was an elopement recently, and it was at a really nice house, I mean, the kind of house that you don't, it's hard to believe this kind of house even exists, you know, when you when you you're in the neighborhood, and you look and and there's just huge, like hedges. And then on the other side of those hedges, or bushes or whatever, there, you can see the top of a huge house. It's that kind of a neighborhood where you just don't think that this stuff really exists. And then all of a sudden, you're driving down the street, because you know, you're gonna go marry somebody. And then it's the kind of deal where when you walk up the driveway, you feel like you're going to a castle, it was that kind of a house, huh. And but that's not the point. So that lends to the point. So obviously, the people that live there? Well, they they have a certain socio economic status. So the key moment for me, and I didn't even think about this until this actually happened. And this has been my policy for decades. I knew somebody one of the professionals that was there. And they said, let's take a picture, because it is the backyard, looks out over the city, and has one of those infinity pools. And then there's a lower level that has a tennis court that also has a basketball court, you know, it's that kind of a deal. They got everything there. Right? And the person said, let's take a photo. And I said, No, I said, I don't do that. I said, I don't want to have anybody who's here to worry ever, that I might be posting something where they don't want it. Or they don't want you don't I mean, I would think that at that level of the position that they're in, they're constantly worried about, you know, Papa Razzi, or, I mean, I have done weddings, where they collect all the cell phones, at the sign in desk, I've done those weddings. But the fact that I said that out loud, actually. And to me, it was all set, always second nature, I never take a photo of anybody with anything anywhere, unless I'm going to, unless there's something in the setup that I'll put on my Instagram is like, oh, take a look at this. And, you know, either that's really good, or that could go bad. But I never try. I try to make sure that when I take a photo, nobody knows where I am. And, and so in this particular case, the other person was hoping that the photo would showcase, you know, where we were and all that. And I said, know, exactly the opposite. I don't want anybody to know. And I want the people that we're here to serve, to have that. That sense of security, that we are, what is it discretion? Is something else is another word that do we're discriminating? Or anyway, they can trust us? that we're not going to, you know,
JP Reynolds 3:55
right? If you ever run out, I think that's, you know, I give you a virtual fist bump on that. I think that's spot on.
Well, it's kind of by necessity. I mean, I don't just me, I would love to have a photo of that place. Because it was so cool. But a long time ago, I observed what celebrities go through. Now this particular person wasn't like a celebrity, like movies and television, that kind of a thing, right? A different a different position. But I watch what they go through and I watch how I understand why they get a little freaked out and they may not want to pose with a selfie or back in the day sign an autograph or whatever. Because this crazy people, right? And so they're constantly have to worry about their safety and you hear stories all the time. And so I just thought, Okay, well from now on. I'm not going to be that at all. In fact, I'm going to be the opposite of that. I'm going to be the first one They can trust to just whatever happens here stays here. type of deal.
JP Reynolds 5:05
so I would like to say that I did it out of you know, that it was some sort of my morals and ethics and that sort of thing, which is a little bit part of that. But but it also was something that could get in the way of business. You know, I like these type of clients, and I want to have the reputation of Don't worry, you can trust him. You know, there's a word that explains that. I forget what it is. They're
JP Reynolds 5:27
Unknown Speaker 5:29
There you go. Okay. Yes. Let's go with that.
JP Reynolds 5:33
No, that's one of the words that I would think to use to describe you. I really have other words, also, but discrete would be one of them.
Unknown Speaker 5:44
I can't think of anything that you and I have ever discussed, or
that would lead you to think that I don't even know what I mean. What I'm doing now is remembering all the networking things that we've attended together, and I still can't think of anything that would make you think I was discreet.
JP Reynolds 6:03
Right. Okay. Well, we'll take this offline.
I did a, I did a another ceremony a couple days ago. And they did the spreading of the of the chairs the way you described it with your wedding a few weeks
JP Reynolds 6:18
ago. Really cool. And well, I did an elopement. Also. I on Friday. And when I say elopement, it was kind of that it was the most micro of micro weddings, because it was the couple of the bride's parents, and the groom's mother, and a photographer.
Unknown Speaker 6:48
JP Reynolds 6:51
I realized, by the time the ceremony was over, that I am definitely rusty. And just rusty. Rusty, really? Oh, yeah. Oh, I'm very rusty. And I'll tell you what. So I had zoomed with a couple. And, you know, zooming with couples now, rather than meeting with them in person is very convenient. It's great. But really, all the couples on the zoom meeting pretty much look the same. They they look like they've all rolled out of bed. Everybody's in the sweatshirt. And sometimes they look like it's a hostage video, right? The way they're staring into the camera. So there's really no way to presume that you're going to recognize the couple. From the time you zoom with them until the time you actually meet with them at some designated location, right? So I learned years ago to never address anyone at a wedding with a relationship title. Meaning years ago, I went up to a woman and I asked if she was the bride's sister. And she told me she was the bride stepmother. Oh, it's very bad that like the stepmother was two years younger than the bride.
Oh my gosh. Okay.
JP Reynolds 8:30
So after that, I vowed, I would never like say, Oh, you must be Grandma, or Oh, you must be, you know, to me, are you so I never never used any relationship titles. It's always Hi. All right. I'm JP. That's, that's it. I'm Rusty. So I'm there early at the designated site.
Unknown Speaker 9:00
JP Reynolds 9:04
I was looking at the ocean or whatever. And I turned around and I showed the back of a man and a woman who appeared to be a particular age and I instinctively thought it was the bride's parents. So I went over it Hi, I'm shaky and they turned around, and I said, Oh, you must be. Oh, no, Cindy Lou's parents. And the man looked at me and he said, No, it's me. Bill, the groom. Oh my gosh. And this is my mother.
Unknown Speaker 9:42
Oh my gosh.
JP Reynolds 9:43
And I was like, I'm JP I was gonna do your wedding. More. It was like, Oh my God. I and I realized in that moment, I am like, just, you know, little Rusty here, I forgot my one of my rules. And I'm remember where it was very sweet. We're standing on the groom and myself, we're standing and in the spot and the bride. emerge emerged and was being escorted by a father, who I thought looked like her grandfather. But that's beside the point. And I'm a surgeon says to me, wow, I don't recognize her. thinking, Oh, dude, don't Don't do this to me. It's like, I didn't recognize you. And if you don't recognize her, maybe I'm on the wrong lawn. Like, it wasn't like, wow, I barely recognize her. It was like, I don't recognize her as like, Oh, no. And so once again, I forgot. It's like, yeah, I've forgotten the Weka junis. of the sweetness of the moments.
The first thing? Yeah, yes. Okay, the first thing that went through my head was the podcast gods have smiled on us once more. Because they've given JP another nugget. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
JP Reynolds 11:28
I it was it was very sweet. And, you know, it also was interesting, because the bride was so radiant. You know, there are some brides who, you know, the vast majority brides certainly look happy. But then there's that, that, let's call it the 1%. Wood. They are truly like you need sunglasses to look at them. This bride was so radiant, and every email she sent me. She ended by I'm so happy. I'm so happy. That's great. And, and I ran out. And what is the thing that I did remember was right before the ceremony, I asked the groom if he had a handkerchief for Kleenex. And God loved he said, Why? Is like oh, Because? Because one or both of you may need it. That's why. So the we got some Kleenex. And thank God we did because he spent the entire ceremony. Entire ceremony dabbing the eyes of his bride. No, because she, she she wasn't it wasn't the sobbing crying. It wasn't the ugly crying. It was just the tears just it was just a fountain of tears.
Unknown Speaker 12:58
I had the same thing happened to me, Sunday. Not
Unknown Speaker 13:06
they they recognized each other. There wasn't that issue.
But they were an older couple kids and that sort of thing. And the bride had two teenage kids that were there. But while they're looking at each other during the ceremony, they both had tears come to their eyes. And I keep thinking that people that are older, that have you know, been around the block a few times, when they make a decision to get married like this, I would say more often than not the depth of the decision, the weight of it, the emotional significance of it to say I want to do it right this time. And here's the person that I think that is the right person. You don't I mean, no disrespect to anybody else. It's just everybody goes through different phases of their life, when they reach this phase, and then they find this person and then I just keep seeing over and over again, how happy they are and grateful. That's the other thing is that they're so grateful to the other person. And that means the world.
JP Reynolds 14:04
Well, I think you know, two other things I would say. Because I've thought about this one is I think these micro weddings intensified the energy of the ceremony. And I'm finding that the micro weddings, the micro weddings, the elopements are emotionally in some respects emotionally more intense than a larger guest counted wedding. And I think it's because of the intimacy. I think there's a direct correlation between the intimacy and the emotions that are chat.
Agreed. I just, I have a theory about that. I think it's because the energy isn't dispersed. When I was acting, we would talk about it actors that for some reason didn't want to commit to the scene or to the other actor, and they would turn their body away, or they would turn their head, they wish they wouldn't engage. And so you and I both know that some people who I, you know, I call them amateurs, they're not used to being in front of people that are used to doing this type of an event. And, and so their energy is dispersed because they're distracted, and they have all this other stuff going on. When we get rid of all the distractions, and all they have is each other. Right, then I think, possibly, that's why they're so connected in it. So
JP Reynolds 15:33
I'm gonna give you another fist bump. 102. Thank you. Yeah, absolutely. Absolutely. It's a fascinating byproduct of, of this whole micro experience. I think the second thing I was going to say, though, that that struck me was Wi Fi, we've talked about this. And you know, last week, our guest was a woman who is a wordsmith, who's writer, and we spoke last week with her about about the power of words, language and all of that. But it was, you know, it was interesting, particularly on Friday, where, on the one hand,
Unknown Speaker 16:24
I know that
JP Reynolds 16:27
what I was saying, My word choice was important.
Unknown Speaker 16:36
On the other hand,
JP Reynolds 16:39
the experience transcended the words.
Unknown Speaker 16:45
JP Reynolds 16:48
there is in some realm, I may very well have been reading the local phone book. And the emotions were they've been generated, because of all of the understanding that the couple had that they are present, in the moment, the physical moment of time, that they had been anticipating, and longing for. And it really reminded me of, of the paradox and the mystery of, of language in a ceremony and the paradox and mystery of what is generated. In that moment, on that spot, with these people.
We've talked a number of times, over the course of our podcasts, that the word magic are magical. And I've always figured that the word magical is something beyond our understanding, you know, something that you know, and so, there is that mystical thing, which I think also falls into that same category, what we call somebody a mistake or a mystical experience, there is something beyond our understanding beyond the norm. And, and I definitely see that
Unknown Speaker 18:15
I'm going to switch gears just for a second. Do you mind?
Unknown Speaker 18:18
I was gonna do it. Anyway, I was just being nice. Remember, our friend Lee Dyson, who was a guest on Yeah, no way. Yes. Okay. So his company is Hey, Mr. DJ, calm listener. It's exactly the way it's at why Mr. DJ, calm. He sent me I forget exactly where I saw it. But I thought it was amazing. It might have been a Facebook post. Okay, now, here's the lead up to it. One of the other podcasts that I do is called the mitzvah party podcast. And it's exactly what you think it would be, which is about me and another guy who wants an entertainment company, we talk about bar and Bar Mitzvah parties, you know, the celebration after the ceremony? Well, you know, okay, so the pandemic hits, and we shut down for a little while, then we come back on, and we start to interview people who have made adjustments the same way that we're talking about our Michael weddings and things like that. This event planner, who's done five bazillion events. In fact, she took over her mom's company who did five bazillion events. She talked about how she pivoted with her company to provide an excellent kind of like zoom experience, but amped up 100 times when professional audio
JP Reynolds 19:31
streaming service to me
Well, it's like everything. It's like everything. That's Yeah, so you're on zoom. So yes, you are streaming but but the but if you amp up the technology of it like professional cameras and professional audio equipment, that kind of thing. Then Not only is it better streamed, but it also is better for the recorded experience as well. So I saw Lee has that kind of a service going on. That's an option and He showed an example of it a demonstration reel. And it was at a facility that you and I are both really aware of that has an outdoor kind of ceremony site. And they had cameras everywhere. The here's what really struck me that I thought was incredibly cool. So not only are people watching the ceremony happened live, and they can watch anywhere they are in the world. But they, they had a big television set up. Okay, imagine that, that you're the couple and you're done with the ceremony and you go back up the aisle, and then you take a left to go into the facility. And right there, they had a huge television that was filled with all the people that were watching on zoom. Yeah. And there was a camera on top of it. And so in addition to all the cameras that were covering the ceremony, they had a camera on top of it. So the bride and the groom, filled with that elation that oh my gosh, we just got married. And it's kind of a surreal euphoric experience. They walk right up to that monitor, and they can see all of these people. And through that screen, now I'm looking at it through another kit. So it's like I'm twice removed from this experience right there in front of it. But I'm looking at the the demo video that Lisa set up. And it was. So moving, that all these people in this television, were all sending their love to this couple who were standing there and all of their tuxedo, bridal gown glory, having just gotten married. I thought that was awesome, because we've heard about the streaming situation. But a lot of times the people that are directly involved like the couple, they don't have that connection, they don't see the other people you know, I mean, but to have that separate television set up so that when they get they walk away from the ceremony, they immediately are digitally embraced by all the people that are watching was so powerful to me. I thought it was great. And I thank you again to Lee. And hey, Mr. DJ, for showing me that because I think I was fantastic.
Unknown Speaker 22:02
JP Reynolds 22:05
Well, thank you, JP, I think you're great too. All right, everybody. That's the way this works. We tell stories because we never run out of stories because we still are doing weddings and as the weddings morphin evolve and whatever it is, we're all still right in the thick of it. And I know that you have stories too and you can contact us it's really simple. Go to our website, wedding ceremony, podcast, com, click on the email us button and then tell us a story or ask us a question. And we would love to have you involved. You know if it fits the bill. Okay, I'm not gonna edit that.
JP Reynolds 22:48
More keep moving.
Remember that JPS books are in the Amazon store and the Kindle store in Amazon is communications coaching website is the business of confidence calm. his wedding website is jPr weddings.com. Mine is Reverend Clint calm or Clint hufft Hq FFT calm for all the things that I do. If you really enjoy the podcast experience, then my recommendation you have two options. Number one, you can go to our website, wedding ceremony, podcast calm and then all of our episodes are right there on the landing page. They're archived chronologically. The most recent one is at the top or you can go to wherever you get podcast, I recommend the Apple store or any of the apps that access the Apple Store and then search for us wedding ceremony podcasts, and then click on the subscribe button. And then that way every time we post a new episode, it'll automatically come into your podcast world. And while you're there if you'd like leave us a review. Having good reviews like five star reviews. is one of the ways that people discover us so if you like what you listen to tell your friends and then also leave us a review that would be fantastic that oh and thank you very much the incredible musicians that play our theme music that a couple players da ca p o players calm. That's it for this episode of the wedding ceremony podcast. This is Clinton on behalf of JP We will see you next time